I’m a 26 year old woman and recently found out my husband is in love with another woman after months of suspicion, had it confirmed a week ago when I heard him talking to her on phone. He left me after telling me he no longer loved me, hasn’t done for months and wasn’t interested in saving our marriage. He has been ignoring me since he left, wont answer my calls etc.I dont know where he is or what he’s thinking.
He has loved and adored me and vice versa for 5 years and I never ever doubted his love for me. This is the most earth shattering thing that has ever happened and I cannot survive it. I cannot exist without him loving me.
Totally devastated and suffering fits of crying, panic attacks and torturing myself by reminiscing, looking at wedding photos etc. I just need him so much and he’s gone. Its like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.
I haven’t slept properly since it happened, keep falling asleep for about 30 minutes at a time, then waking up and crying, falling asleep again etc.
The mornings are the absolute worst worst. I seem to feel calmer in the evenings, then once I wake up it starts all over.
I have decided to end my life as I cannot carry on existing like this anymore, and I know for certain the future will never get better. I am an emotional person and I will carry this with me forever, time will NOT heal me despite what people say, so i don’t want to live a painful life. I would rather just fall asleep and never wake up then deal with this agony every day.
What I want to know is this; is overdosing the best way? It may seem like a strange question but I don’t want to do it and then wake up brain damaged in hospital etc…I will make sure I take PLENTY of pills, enough to kill me but is it guaranteed?
I will write letters to my loved ones, and will ensure that they don’t find me dead in my bed. I will put a piece of paper on my front door saying don’t go upstairs, call 999 instead so they don’t have the shock of finding me.
It may be incredibly selfish of me but I honestly cannot go on. I just can’t.
Please don’t anyone try to talk me out of this I have made up my mind. I want the pain to end and this is the only way.
