If you love something, set it free…..

"If you love something set it free; if it returns it is yours forever
If It Never Returns, It Was Never Yours To Begin With."

Until recently, I perceived this quote as romantic…. but unrealistic….
Until recently, until a past love re-entered my life, did I actually start pondering its proposal.
Can it be? If I chose to let him go because things were not right for us at that time and my lost love has returned now, is it mine forever, my true love? Did the universe decide this is the right time for us?

A little background on my "freed love". We were young, I was 16, and he was 18. We were crazy, about both life and each other. He had just graduated high school, I had just moved back to the states from Colombia. We wanted to just have fun. We both had that “let’s live life to the fullest” attitude. Everyday was an adventure with him. I remember one day laying on the couch with him and saying “I want to go camping”. He was all forth it, “let’s go! Tomorrow, Friday, ill go to Wal-Mart buy some grub and we will go camping!” And we did. We invited friends, made it a huge camp out and had the time of our lives. Many times we had the time of our lives, just being spontaneous. He was an amazing man, if he could bring the stars down from the sky one by one for me he would.

But with so much passion during the good times there was that same amount of passion during the bad times, rage. He had an anger problem. It did not help I was a depressed manic! I had lost my grandma, my world, and it brought me into the darkest depression anyone can endure. I almost did not make it out alive. I was hospitalized for three weeks under antidepressant medication. He was there for me in my hard times, but he could not understand my actions half the time. We would fight continuously, aggressively, screams and shouts, and often physical.

I graduated high school and decided to go to college locally, for both him and my mother. However, once there I needed freedom to live the college life, to be completely young and stupid, before I could be grown and mature in the real world. He wanted to give me enough space but he could feel me slipping away from him. He proposed that first year of college because he wanted me to be with him for the rest of his life. We thought we could make it Trough College. But we did not; I broke up with him at the end of my first year in college. I broke up with him because I needed to live life and see what was out there for me, before I could settle down.

The break up was horrible. It was physical. The cops got involved. We both threw objects and punches at each other. I broke his heart and he broke mine……and we went out separate ways.

I am now 23, five years have passed since our teenage romance, and he has entered my life once again. Facebook is the culprit (I swear even president Obama probably has a fb account lol.) I was surprised to hear from him, I felt I had broken his heart so gravely even if I were to see him again in my life; his words toward me would not be pretty ones.
I was speechless, excited, hopeful, frightened; every emotion was felt at least once. We spoke on the phone for about three hours, about where we are in life, our goals, our adventures, and of course our love.

He lives in North Carolina (after I broke his heart he had to move out of Florida!) I still live in Florida. I am still in school; he has finally started his own business. I am independent; he has taken proper steps to manage his anger issues. He is single, I am single. We decided to catch up because we each hold a special place in each others heart. But here I am today wondering, contemplating this quotes proposal. Is this man in my life for a second chance at our love? Is he my one true love?

I am due to go see him in North Carolina in about three weeks….but I do not know if it’s the right choice? To fly 800 miles to go see a man who I had such a dangerous relationship with, whose heart I broke into a thousand pieces. We say we have no expectations, but I know we both feel like maybe this is our second chance at great love and maybe this one time we will be together until we grow old. And what if I do fall in love with him yet again….have I experienced enough in my life to finally be with him. am I worthy enough of his love, Will we be abusive to each other again!?

I know I need not the what if’s, but This is a complicated decision for me. I try to talk to my best friends about it they are no help lol sam tells me go for it he is your lobster, but nat tells me I am making a mistake. I know I am suppose to follow my heart, but the heart knows no logic, and sometimes you need logic…..

Technorati Tags: anger problem, attitude, camping, Colombia, couch, depression, good times, Graduated High School, grandma, grub, half the time, Lost Love, love quot, medication, mistake, moth, passion, proposal, rage, right time, sky one, time of our lives, true love, universe, wal mart

I love my boyfriend very much but he seems to have lost interest in me. This is painful, and I dont know how to handle it. What can I do to bring back the passion?

Technorati Tags: eachother, love, passion

here is the second part
Slowly without realization of my actions, I was climbing out the window, and walking with this strange man. My mind was gone, and my heart was racing. I will never forget what happened that day. The story he told so strange that he couldn’t have possibly made it up, yet so unreal it couldn’t be true.
He held my hand softly, looked me in the eyes and began with a sigh.
“I am not a man. I am a God. I am Aeolus, king of wind, son of Poseidon. My life began fifteen million years ago, when the earth was still young. I was arrogant, and as human teenage boys, I made mistakes. I killed many, and because of this, I lost many. Father, punished me by forcing me into exile by turning me into a man.”
He had said, ” No God has yet to act as you, you have hurt the ones who you loved, you are not yet worthy of the life which you live.”
“Of course I was distraught, and have roamed the earth for the one thing that will change me, ever since. They say that love, and passion is the only thing that can change a God from an ignorant, violent youth, into a strong, wise man. Legend has it that when I find true love, the one soul that mine is destined to be with, I will become a God again, and will rule the wind as I should. I know that you are this person. Your soul cries out to mine, your heart longs to be with the one you love. Our souls are destined for each other. You must believe me, I never believed in love until I found you.”
With my brain barely grasping what he had said, I couldn’t find anything to say. It slowly registered that he was in love with me, a woman he barely knew, and he claimed to be a God, turned man.
“You don‘t even know me.” I mumbled barely audibly.
“I am a God, I know what love is, I feel things humans cannot, your soul cries out for mine, your heart knows that what I say is true and it knows that you love me as I love you. It is our souls telling me this, your spirit wants mine.” He answered. His voice was filled with emotion, I knew then that he was telling the truth. My soul, my spirit, my heart all longed to be with him.
“So you have been turned into a God again?”
“No. The legends say that the love must grow, the love must turn to selflessness, and you must let me go. You must give up your hopes of being with the one you love, in this form. You must be so selfless that you care more about my destiny then your love for me. You must kill my human form and then I will become a God. However there is a chance that your soul will not part your body, when mine does. There is a change you will live on in human form, never loving again, your soul never finding its destined mate.”
He looked in my eyes, and I could see the fiery passion that lit them. I could see what had driven him on in these centuries, I could see that our souls were destined. He knew then that I loved him.
In the next year, we were together, we loved, we laughed, we lived. I had never felt such romance, and passion. I had never loved as loved now. I could not think of the time when I must let him go, and possibly live without my destined love forever. I needed him, but I knew that he had to be returned to the world of Gods, I knew that was the only way he would find happiness and peace. I had decided that on our one year anniversary, I would release him. I could not allow myself to be as happy as I was when I knew he was in such pain, in the wrong place, following a path that was not meant for him.

***

When I led him to the meadow, to give him back the life he was destined for, I noticed something about the day was different. The air seemed to hang there, lifeless and still. The chipmunks under the tree seemed somber, the birds were not chirping, the deer not frolicking in the tall grass. The world was still, holding its breath.
He looked at me and to this day I still remember what his face told me. His soft voice told me he was on the verge of tears. Yet the most startling thing, I noticed the memories untold that had once covered his eyes, was gone, replaced by love, and happiness, the passion was in full control. He was ready to change from an arrogant, violent boy into a wise, compassionate God. Love had changed him.
His last words to me were, “Elizabeth, my Elizabeth, over the past year I have grown to love you beyond belief, my heart now yearns to be with you. Even though our souls have always known, I know now that you were the person for me.” He raised his hand up to face, tracing my lip with his finger, he kissed each of my closed eyes and wiped away my tears. “You have proven to me love is real, you have given the only gifts and man can want, love, and compassion. You taught me how to love. And for that my darling I will never forget you. Even if your soul doesn‘t come with mine, I will come back for you. Look at the horizon every morning, and every night I will send a sign when I come for you. I love you, my Elizabeth.”
I had tears streaming down my face,
I had tears streaming down my face, but when I looked at his eyes I knew I was doing the right thing. I has to let him go follow his destiny. He laid on the soft, newly sprouted spring grass. I crouched next to him, and kissed him one last time.
He held a handful of my hair to his nose, and said, “I am ready, my Elizabeth.”
With my arm raised I gently brought the knife to chest, tears streaming from my reddened eyes. Yet somehow, as if my miracle, I saw through my tears, and watched as his body rose into the sky. The wind blew gently again, the chipmunk scurried to his hole, the birds chirped and the deer came out again. But my soul did not go with his.
Everyday I look out my open window, and wait for a sign, of my loves return. Looking out my open window.
here is link for part one. thanks so much for reading it. I really appreiciate it
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100223080841AAVT2Mr&r=w
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoM734CMhCT8kWnFTtC4tzyf5HNG;_ylv=3?qid=20100223080707AAmlvL0
link to part one…please ingore the first link thanks

Technorati Tags: brain, earth, exile, god, heart, Lost, million years, passion, Poseidon, realization, son of poseidon, spirit, strange man, teenage boys, true love, violent youth, wind son, wise man

well it like this we have been married for 36 yrs,but now there no making love or anything,it seem like i am always the one to approach him ,i am the one who always trying to be romantic,he never show any feeling about it.when i try to talk to him about it,he say it turn him .off,but for the last 15 yrs nothing,he treat me like i am his house keeper or just someone to take care of him,,but there is 20 yr differencece in our ages,,i don’t know if that it or not,but he will tak to me about it,i have try to get us help ,,but he wants nothong ti do with it, and get’s very mad if i suggested it to him,he said i stupid,,to pay money for this kind of help and he don’t need any help.he, have try variety of things and pills but he still show no interest in it what so ever,i even try play dressing up, but ,,he tell me to get dress before some one come to our door,….my husband is 74 yrs old and i am 54 yrs old,i feel like he either don’t care or he do not have the desire any more.i have try to get him to get away for a nice week -end of romance,,but he say thats a waste of money, when he has his own house.so now i don’t know what to do.i know, i took vows with this man,and i know sex is not the most important thing in a reationhip..and i know i am his wife,but this has gone to far,he is very protected,and processive..and he watch me evey where i go and what i do even when i am just in my own yard.,if i go visited some one he times me,he will not go with me, but he time how long i stay at my friend home.he never want to go anywhere just stay home,and most time he sleep..as long as he knows i am inside of the house..,,so i hope you all understand ,i have so much feeling right now and i am human and in need of compassion and passion,and i desire the touch of ones love and to feel that love back when it is giving, but i feel like i am the one giving and recieving nothing back,,i have never mess up on this in all the yrs we have been married,,but some where there got to be a thin line drawn,,i hope you can understand how i feel and try to put yourself in my place,,what would you really do.and how would you really feel about this kind of relationship
please.i don’t wany any one to miss undersand ,i hav a very hight sex drive,,age has nothing to do with mine,and i am not saying we never had sex in 36 yrs,,what i am saying is for the last past 15 yrs,there has been no sex ..or anythingno kissing unless i do the kissing,..and as far as the abuse i have live with that for 36 yrs,..both mentally and physically.but he act like i am his slave not his wife..and i have try to get help..but what good is it if i am the one going and not him??as far as love,,yes i love him,but i am not in love with him any more,to me he more like a room mate not a husband ,we don’t even share the samebed room any more.
please.i don’t wany any one to miss undersand ,i hav a very hight sex drive,,age has nothing to do with mine,and i am not saying we never had sex in 36 yrs,,what i am saying is for the last past 15 yrs,there has been no sex ..or anythingno kissing unless i do the kissing,..and as far as the abuse i have live with that for 36 yrs,..both mentally and physically.but he act like i am his slave not his wife..and i have try to get help..but what good is it if i am the one going and not him??as far as love,,yes i love him,but i am not in love with him any more,to me he more like a room mate not a husband ,we don’t even share the samebed room any more.

Technorati Tags: compassion, Desire, making love, Man Love, money, ones love, passion, pills, romance, sleep, Stupid, Thin Line, vows, waste of money

my ipod broke
my laptop broke
i went shopping and when i came home the clothes didn’t fit
i have a head ache
school’s tomorrow
i have mountain load of home work
my braces thingy broke (now my mouth is really sore)
i am tired

got any thing to cheer me up???

wow i have this song stuckin my head
maybe if i put the lyrics on this question it will cheer me up..

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion’s gone away
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces every time
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

Because you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I’m not wrong

(yeah…)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You’ve seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

sorry about that

Technorati Tags: Blink, blue skies, blue sky, braces, cause you had a bad day, Cheer, clothes, coffee, falling to pieces, Fit, Having A Bad Day, head ache, ipod, laptop, leaves, lyrics, magic, Magic 105, passion, sad song, shopping, smile

One time three years ago when they were dating, I was helping them with a class assignement at college, and while my cousin was distracted writting on the computer she rubbed her breast on purpose against my hand while I was holding a book dictating to my cousin.
Then, on another occasion, my cousin and he were in the front of the car and he was telling ehr that his family wanted to meet her, i was sitting in the back with anothe friend, then she turned around and held my hand caressing it, and said: "there is nothing more important to me than my passion" and smiled. i was dumbounded and chose not to say anything and let it slip.
Later when they got married I was his best man, i never told him anything. Now as married couple, one time she started changing her clothes with the bathroom door open so i could see, and my cousin had to tell her that we could see her.

Advice please, what the heck do I do? Do i tell my cousin, or do I keep playing dumb and save their marriage?
I mean, i must be honest, she is hot, but I am also not gonna do something to hurt my cousin, plus: I am married too now!!! This i think is going to create a problem for me in the future.

Technorati Tags: assignement, best man, breast, clothes, cousin, marriage, Married Couple, Occasion, passion, what the heck

I and husband married 15 years, we always love each other, and desire each other, more often he desires me more, and he never rejected me even when he is tired. Two month ago I found out he had an affair, sexually with his female staff, he is the boss. Then I calmly let him know about this and want him stop. I can feel he always loves me even when he had a affair and desire me. We had a cold period after that, but things passed, we talk again, we make love again, but the love changed. He started not desire me during the week, when I desire him, he sometimes reject me, he doesn’t have the passion as I do. I made everything I can to provoke him, make myself sexy, new hair, new sexy outfit, new sex toys, go out alone. Even he rejected the idea we went out alone for a weekend. What is wrong? Am I pushing to hard? Is it possible after I let him know that I know his affair he still want to punish me? Though he hold me and hug me, but push away my hand from his Private part which before he enjoys it. I need a man’s opinion for my problem.

Technorati Tags: boss, cold period, Desire, Desires, female staff, love, new hair, new sex toys, passion, Sex Toys, sexy outfit

My wife and I were together for 5 years (married for 4 years). This summer she went to visit her family for summer vacation (she is a teacher, we lived in Florida and her family lives in Illinois). During the summer she would not answer my calls as frequently, and her behavior was suspicious. I confronted her over the phone and she said that she has been sleeping and seeing this other guy the whole summer. She has met his entire family and he has met her entire family as well. She even told me that she has been playing house with this guy the entire time. She came back after a month and a half to get her stuff and left. When she came back to get her stuff she slept with me once again. I will not accept her even if she wants to come back. However, I would like to know if she would come ever back again? We both loved each other very much. But I guess she was not in love with me anymore. We 2 were both educated successful couple. Now she is with this dude who is 4 years younger than her (we both are 29 years old). He is 25. The guy has no career or future and barely surviving. My wife, however, can get a nice job eventually may be 6-10 months down the road or may be sooner. I provided a great deal of emotional support for her and never let any problems come up to her at all. The whole thing happened because our passion died out. She is very impatient with everything and never even tried to work out anything with me. Do you still think she would try to come back to me? If she wants to come back how long will it be? If she wanted me back then should I trust her again? I need some answers from women who has been through similar situation. Please help!

Technorati Tags: 10 months, emotional support, love, month and a half, nice job, passion, summer vacation

I am separated from my husband of 10yrs…He LOVED me so much now I know that but I was so mean to him over the years that he told me on our 7th yrs that he didnt feel the same anymore…now 3yrs later he says he fell out of love but cares for me. He met this other woman when we were still living together and after I found out I moved out..big mistake because she slowly got to him. Its been a year and my husband and I somehow started seeing eachother again, I have not dated anyone since I moved out. He has seen the change in me and tells me he really would like to see if the passion and the love he felt for me can return. The thing is this other woman is still in the picture he says she doesnt have the life he wants(she has two kids, we have none) but that he cannot say no to her…everytime he tells her he cant do it she keeps calling and wont leave him alone. I really would like to know if there is a possibility it can happen where the love returns after it has left….I LOVE him, after all these years and whats happened I’m still in love with him

Technorati Tags: 10yrs, big mistake, Cares, love, passion

Firstly, I do not want any answers that are like "You’re an a**hole" or "Forget about the past" ect.

BTW – There’s a tl;dr version

I have always had a big crush on this girl, since I was like 11. She was one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. We started dating around November of last year, and I’d enjoy everyday of her. I would always write her poems and love letters, and such. And she would always make me happy. And I never met anyone like her. It felt like she was like my soul mate, in some ways.

Than are relationship went down hill, her so called "best friend forever", hated my guts with a passion. And now I believe it was due
to "jealousy", in my honest opinion. She would always make up nasty stuff about up me, and tell her I was so called "cheating on her". I never did.

Eventually, we broked up around 3 times, due to this little brat. The 3rd time was it. After, that I did alot of stupid sh*t. And I acted like a complete a**hole and d**chebag to her. Something I regret.

Than she went out with her so called "true love", who only loved her because of her boobs. It didn’t last too long, it lasted for around 3-5 weeks.

Ever since she broked up with me in Febuary, she went out with around 8 guys, which I think is really odd and whorish. And I did go out with some other girls too, but I never really find them as amazing as her.

She currently has a boyfriend, who is my best friend. I do not plan to ruin this relationship for him, because I’m not your typical "teenager". My friend isn’t really commited to her, because he told me he wasn’t going to stay with her for long.

What can I do at this point? I just feel empty inside.

tl;dr version:
I met a dream girl, her bff ruined it. She is with someone now, who probally won’t be with her very long. How can I get her back?

I would also like to add, that she still may like me. She stills txt me everyday, and we talk on the phone every now and than.

Technorati Tags: best friend, boobs, brat, btw, dream girl, ex girlfriend, girls, guts, honest opinion, jealousy, love letters, love quot, nasty stuff, passion, poems, relationship, soul mate, teenager, tl, true love

Why do some couples try so hard to stay together just for the sake of staying together when there is no longer any passion between them? Why do they subject themselves to such misery? What’s the point of saving any marriages that are fast going down hill?

Technorati Tags: amp, couples, marriage, misery, passion, sake, saving a marriage

My ex-husband and I have been together for 21 years, but in 2000 we divorced and got back together in 2005. We’ve been together since then, but I’m missing the passion and excitement. I love him, but I want it to feel new again. It only feels new and exciting when we have a little wine or mixed drinks. Is it possible?

Technorati Tags: excitement, Fall In Love, How Do You Fall In Love, mixed drinks, passion, wine

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I caught my husband called and SMS text messages with many women. He regularly met those women in the bars, restaurants. He told me they are female friends. He just like the attention from them. He said there never have sexual relations with those women, only talking, joking or dancing. My husband admitted that the reasons he needs to contact with those women are
(1) midlife crisis (he is over 37 year old)
(2) there is no passion in our marriage life
(3) he felt less challenge at work
(4) he attracts to younger women and likes their attentions. My husband said by contacting many women actuarially reduce the risk to have an affair. He said he does not want to have an affair with anyone. He had an affair two years ago and ended painfully as she became a harassment. I try to give my husband more attentions and work on my appearance and figures. But I am 47 years old and it is very difficult to be slim as a 20s or 30s ladies. (He said his standard is very high and like women have flat belly.) My husband said he attracted to slim women , big boobs ,and he does not sexually attracted to me anymore as he just see me as mother of our daughter and I am over weight in his eyes. (I am 53kg, size M) He said he will not marry any of those women and probably get sick with them in one month as they have some characters he can’t stand . i dont know what it is he thinking but alway is bored with me. I can’t monitor his mobile calls any more as he has put on a new password .He was changed his Mobile Address when i mailing to him during he hear Women Groan in his mobile, he says dont mail to him when he busy listen women they yell.. He admitted he will not stop contacting those women in short term.( they are all in his contact now ) Should I trust him will play this game within the boundary and work on improving our relationship with him(i.e. more time together and give him more attentions) We enjoy together to see movies some time on the weeken , i tried to take him going to some where by car for him hunter his porn stuff . He is not interested in having sex with me but surf around internet long nights instead. He said that it is not proud to surf internet for sexual needs. I hate him make Masturbate alone when i busy at work .and he alway do Mastuebate with those idol in internet … Should I wait until he pass the "mid-life" crisis? I had thought about divorce but I am worry of losing existing financial comfort and the impact . The worst is I still love him as long he did good for me . Some books talk about recandle the love to save marriage. Is there any hope? We have been together for a long way and had so many lovely memory. I really do not want to give it in.

Technorati Tags: amp, appearance, attentions, big boobs, female friends, flat belly, game, harassment, mail, marriage, marriage life, Met, mobile calls, passion, relationship, restaurants, risk, sexual relations, slim women, sms text messages, those women, Young Women, younger women

My husband’s last relationship ended in 1998, we started dating in 2000 and got married in 2004. Our son was born in 2006.

My husband is an adventurous person, he has a big passion for mountains and the outdoors. I don’t share that passion, but I am ok with him going on climbing, hikes and other adventures. I am a simple person that has a passion for her family, I love my son and husband and love caring for them. My husband also has a passion for his football team, which I’m completely involved in this with him, we go to games together, watch the games on TV, dress in the team’s colors and apparel, etc.

My husband contacted his ex and saw her last July, he said they needed closure and they talked about their past relationship; my husband said he wanted to improve our marriage getting input from his ex about what he has done wrong in their relationship, if he was selfish about doing stuff that he likes to do and not stuff the other person wants to do. She loves trail running and loves the mountains as well, they met again in August to go over some maps and routes they have explored, but they also reminisced about their past experiences who got my husband confused (I read this in an email), he saw her again in September (I never knew he was seeing her at this point, he lied to me).

A few days after their last encounter my husband told me he had been in touch with her and that he needed to tell me because he felt terrible lying to me. He told me that they’re only friends and that they are going to keep that friendship. His ex said that he would not see him if he didn’t tell me that he was going to hang out with her, so he did, only because she asked him. When he told me all of this, I was very confused and felt betrayed because he had lied to me. He said he wanted to see her and go hiking with her and talk about mountains and hang out and also go have a beer from time to time.

I trusted my husband more than any other wife would trust his man (I really trusted him with all my heart), but after this he broke down years of trust, his email has no password on his computer and I usually helped him do business on his email before, so I went and checked his email and didn’t like what I found. There wasn’t really anything that talked about sex, but the way they wrote to each other really made me feel uncomfortable. He mentioned in one of this emails that his heart had been rattled. I told him I saw those emails and offered to set him free so he could be friends with anybody he wanted. I told him I wasn’t going to ask him to drop his friendship, because I am not the person that would do that, but that I would divorce him so he can follow his heart and passion for his mountains with her. He got mad at he and after days and weeks of talking he told me he wasn’t going to talk to her or see her again, which seems true at this point.

I emailed his ex and told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with their friendship, because it had the big potential of becoming an affair if they spend a lot of time together and that could damage our marriage forever, I read something online about Emotional Affairs and it seems that this is exactly what happened between them, but I believe they never slept together while they saw each other these 3 times.

My husband and I seem ok now, we’ve gone through some health issues at this point and haven’t talked about this issue for a couple of weeks, but we did almost every day for a month.

I want to improve our marriage, but I can’t go mountain climbing because it isn’t my thing. We used to enjoy white water rafting before, but since we flipped twice on a trip, I really got scared and he keeps telling me that he misses our trips together, but I often have nightmares about flipping and wake up very scared. Things changed a lot after we had our son, I used to work at home with him (he works from home) but with the economy problems I have working out of the house for 1 ½ years, I work 40 hours a week, have a lot of chores and responsibilities and he says that I don’t have enough time for him sometimes, that I don’t pay attention to his needs. I personally think he is selfish about this, because he gets to enjoy many outdoor things while I stay home taking care of our son and cleaning the house during the weekend while he is out having fun.

Please I need everybody’s opinion and advise on this.

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Okay, I am a 16 year old female (soon to be 17) and I am a junior. I went to a Christian school from kindergarden through 7th grade, & then my dad forced me to be homeschooled. I HATE homeschooling with a passion. I feel so depressed & I sit alone in my bedroom all day. I tried telling my dad that I hate homeschooling, but he doesn’t care. He refuses to let me go to a public highschool, because he thinks I will get into drugs & sex. But I am strongly set on saving myself for marriage & I am uninterested in drugs because I know the outcome of using them. I just want to go to a public highschool for my last year to get my diploma & graduate. I care very much about my studies & I study hard.

Sometimes I cry because I hate my dad. He won’t let me take driver’s ED or get a job until I turn 18. I want to get a job now so I can start saving money for a vehicle.

I feel so depressed & alone. I have no life. I have no friends & the only time I get out of the freaking house is to go to the grocery store with my mom. I sometimes wish I were dead, but then I think "Everything will be better when I turn 18." But it just seems like forever in this hell hole. =(

My dad is very controlling. My mom is the total opposite from him, & she has very little say in matters. My mom, me, & my 2 brothers have to hide everything we do from him. I hate living a lie, but my god, he is such a prick.

I just don’t know what to do. There is no changing him.

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When I asked about his recent disinterest in sex, he told me he loves me but sees me as a sister or friend more than a romantic interest. I’m crushed, and I don’t know what to do to reignite his passion…

I fill the role of a wife well, even he acknowledges! I cook, clean, listen, console–and work a 40 hour job. We have no kids, so my nurturing attentions are totally focused on him. I feel like I’m working so hard for his affections with no reward.

Please, please, please help me save my marriage. I need some insight into a man’s mind.

Technorati Tags: affections, attentions, disinterest, Fall In Love, insight, job, marriage, passion, Reignite, role of a wife, romantic interest

I know I am. I’ve seen the movie, and own the book. Didn’t save my marriage. Of course she left twice before I could get very far. I think if it actually helps someone, that is great, but in the end it is just another movie, it isn’t some sort of miracle working movie. Plus the acting is just plan bad.

Also, I have nothing against Christians as I am one. It is just it gets on my nerves when people suggest it as a be all end all to marriage problems.
It is about 122 minutes. lol
Fireproof is about a fire fighter who is married and doesn’t really respect his wife. Also the wife doesn’t really respect her husband. They are basically room mates and don’t try for each other. After a fight, the wife says she wants out. They continues to live together, but husband’s dad gives him a 30 day love dare. Huband does the dare, it takes some time to get started and then my the end of the movie they love each other and make out.
BTW, I think the love dare is a great tool for people who think they have lost the spark or fire or passion in their marriage and would recommend it in a heart beat. I just don’t think it is a replacement for a seriously damaged relationship through physical abuse, unfaithfulness or something along those lines.

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I’m 32. I have been married for going on 4 years. Not long at all. My wife and I became reconnected about five years ago. About a year after that I asked her to marry me. A little quick I understand. I don’t think we took enough time to get to know each other the way we should have before marriage. About a year went by and we ended up in counseling. We went for about two months and she said we didn’t need it anymore. I felt we did. We DON’T have a lot in common, food music, sense of humor, passion for sex, or foreplay, for that matter which in my book is huge. I’m not saying that I’m just some overly horny guy but I like a little excitement when it come to sex. Not just hop on and lets go. To make matters more complicated we are pregnant. It’s our first, but I’ve fallen out of love with her. I don’t hate her or anything I just don’t think we are meant to be together. She on the other hand does not believe this at all. I’ve been going to counseling and she finally just started this week. I’m not running away, I want to be there for our child and I want to make sure that my wife is comfortable. I’ve told her how I feel and I feel like an ass for doing so. The past two years just seems to have leveled out and fizzled to nothingness. I probably should have discussed this with her before getting pregnant. I just don’t feel it anymore! Any feed back would be helpful.

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So i have been married almost 9 years, and i have fallen completely out of love with my husband. I was actually talking to someone else who made me feel great, wonderful and beautiful. But it was just talking and I decided since i was married it would be better to just be friends. Me and this other guy have never done anything, bad or inappropriate, but i want to work things out with my husband. My husband knows that their are many things that are wrong. So how do i fall in love with him again? How do i rekindle the passion, it is almost 9 years later 2 kids, and a miserable wife.

P.S. My husband is not romantic at all, he is very cold and the sex has gotten pretty bad and non-existing the last 2 years.
I am romantic, loving, etc. I do all of it. I plan our romance i am tired of it all being sooo one sided. I want him to be the impulsive one, i want him to want to make love to me, i am just tired of initiating evreything in the relationship from buying all the food, his clothes to jumping his bones.

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both people with a passion to be together but only one that really truly supports the relationship and the other is just doing there own thing, and what if the one with the support is all out of love and is trying to love but it hurts to love and it hurts to keep giving knowing that nothing is ever given back to them. and what if the other person flips from good to bad and you never know when there going to not want the other supportive one around and only wants the supportive one around at their beck and call?

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Thanks for all the replies. I am quite surprised that so many of you think that my marriage is actually "Dead". Yes i do my fair share around the house. I set off to work at 6.30 am and dont arrive home till 5.30 tea time where fair play dinner is always on the table waiting for me. From then on it is me that takes over the clearing up, wash the kids, put them to bed and read them a story, while the wife has a bath, relaxes and watches Emer, Corrie & East. Talk i cannot as this is Sh, sh, sh time. She does not look after 2 kids all day. One is at school, the other is in creche. I have changed my working pattern at work, hence my long hours at work to have the Friday off to look after the youngest to save on creche fees. Tell me now who should be tired and emotionally drained???? Ha, ha, ha. Its not all bad though, dont get me wrong. As a marriege its ok, we hardly ever argue, i’m not hen pecked. I go out on the odd occassion. were always having wknds away Its just passionless, thats al
Thats the big problem. When we go shopping, and i suggest a nice bra/panties for fun in say M&S, she says what for!!!!
Thanks Emma!
Naturell. I’ll tell u a little story. We were at a friends birthday bash a few weeks ago. Last dance came on. All went to dance. I asked if shed like to dance, she refused point blank. We were sat there like lemons!!!!
Red Devil. No there was loads of passion. She always came on to me. in fact she was quite wild. It has started to go pear shaped between the birth ofthe two boys. The sex doesnt really bother me , its the Hugs, snogs and hold hands that i miss.
Hi Yummy Mummy. Im a Boy not a Girl, hi, hi,hi
Thanks Red Devil. Thats the type of answer ive been looking for. that sounds good!

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