NOTE: I posted this in a different forum a bit ago & while I appreciate the answers, I would really like to get responses from some middle aged folks if possible.
My ex doesn’t seem to want to talk to me much, but she has told to come over any time.
I am confused, does this mean she may not be done with me? She broke up with me a few weeks ago after 2.5 years. I’m getting mixed signals, when I see her we talk & get along great, but email & phone conversations are very terse & short, and she absolutely does not want to discuss the breakup. I tried to just cut all ties at least for the moment a few days ago & she got upset with me, said I was "cleansing" myself of her, & hinted that I was wanting to see someone else. (not true, I wasn’t) I wonder if she feels differently when I am around vs not? I don’t know. Can anyone give me advice?
She has 2 kids from her ex husband 13 & 16 years old, & she is very open to me taking them golfing, or whatever. I just don’t get it!
What do I do?
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Ok, so it sounds like I need run for the hills, here. I guess I’m just sad at the prospect of that. I really care for her, thought she was the absolute one for a couple years, the breakup was my fault, I put my job way ahead of her for to long, & it ultimately cost me dearly.
I was hoping that her telling me to come over any time was a sign that she was maybe open to something….I know I want this back so bad it hurts, but I’m not willing to be strung along & made a fool of, only to still be the one on the outside looking in.
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For the longest time now, I find fault with how my MIL raised my husband, how she and my husband’s other sisters use my husband for favors, and how they pretend that they like me.
When we’re all together, his mom says that he blows all of his money. She also says taht she wishes she could go back to school, but she can’t because she’s a single, working mom. My husband says comments like "You hate them, they hate you." Whenever I mention how I don’t like them/ what they’re doing. He tells his mom that I think they hate me, and she denies it. I’m fed up with whatever is going on behind my back. My husband claims that they don’t talk shyt on me, but I think everyone does at one point in time. I even heard my husband say that his mom said, "What’s up her ass?" When we got in a fight at her house, and he said that she stated, "What, can’t you stand your wife?"
Sometimes it feels like a constant battle for my husband. Why can’t I have him to myself? When we first were married, we had a nice 1 bedroom apartment, we spent a lot of time together, he didn’t talk to his mom (she was a b!tch and threw him out) and I felt like I had peace and didn’t have to worry. Now that I had a baby and lived with them for 4 months (moved out in Feb. things just keep getting worse though) it’s like a living hell, no matter how far I live from them!
Are they gossiping about me? How do I find out??? Their phone conversations are usually 3 minutes or less at any given time, but he does go to her house once a week to talk or do favors for her.
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My husband was very cold and distant to me for years. When I met someone else that is very loving to me and we fell deeply in love, then my husband tried his best to make everything right. Except that he couldn’t work for stalking me and monitoring my every move. He even taped my phone conversations. I had to leave. I am back with my boyfriend and I have filed for divorce. I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me very much. But in the sight of God, I feel so guilty b/c I know it is God’s perfect will for my husband and I to resume our marriage but I can’t go back to the torture that I went through with him for 3 years trying to make it work. This is the worse pickle I have ever gotten myself into. How can you change your feelings for someone? I have tried and tried and I have hurt my boyfriend as well b/c of my struggle with this. Does anyone have answers? Thank You!
You are so blessed Aquanaschild. No, my husband was very selfish with me even in the beginning of our marriage. We were not one at all and he wanted it that way. He also has a very bitter and anger problem. He has had that ever since I have known him. I married him b/c he wasn’t the type to cheat (he has too much control-not very affectionate) I took care of all of my needs while he has stacks of money in the bank. No, it just seems that there is too much water under the bridge…he still has a hateful attitude when my children/grandchildren ever come over which is very very rare, nobody feels comfortable around him.
Sasha, you and Shasha have an excellent answer in combination certainly. Sasha sums it up. Are you both the same people?
God Bless HIS NAME!!!!!
I was trying to choose a best answer and it is difficult for 2 reasons. One, this site is acting as though I am another user instead of the asker. So…the other reason is that there are a lot of good answers here. I appreciate it very much.
But it is true that everyone has their own walk in this world to walk and really no one else can walk it for them. I never in a million years wanted anything to happen to my marriage. It was in very deep trouble from the beginning. My husband was so protective of his possessions. He kept telling me that he knew that I didn’t deserve it but I was going to have to suffer for the rest of my life b/c of what his first wife did to him. He made me sign a prenuptial agreement. We divided our groceries, he bought his, I bought mine. We even had separate cupboards. He use to tell me all the time that I was so lucky that I didn’t have to pay rent. I worked at jobs that deteriorated my health when he had plenty of money in the bank. He is not a warm person
at all. He has never made my children feel comfortable around him. My children like my boyfriend better than my husband. So, I guess that should give me a good clue. Thank you all for your efforts! God Bless You!!!
Shasha you summed it up.
Moving on, you had an excellent answer as well! It is amazing to see all the different perspectives that people have. In the multitude of counselors there is safety. (godly counselors)
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