I have a son son who is eleven months old. I missed out on alot in pregnancy and birth due to his extreme prematurity. I *think* I would like to have more children, but I’m scared about another preemie. I also worry that I would be having another child to try to "make up" for what we missed. So I have weighed the pros and cons of having more children very hard. I always thought I wanted lots of kids…but…being a mom is hard work and I want to make sure I do it right everytime, and I can’t be a SAHM forever, I went to college to work doing what I love. I worry about my son being an only child too…is that fair to him??? Oh geeze..I’m rambling again. My question is, in your opinion, what is the perfect number of children to have? Please don’t answer unless you are willing to say why you think your answer is correct, a simple number doesn’t help me process this. Thanks all.
we just had a babygirl – our first child. she is from europe and I am from the U.S. The last 4 months of her pregnancy (during which we were fighting and sometimes not even on speaking terms) she spent in her home country and during that time her ex-bf intervened and played the supporting role and now she and he are "together"…I am desperate and am seeking advice as to how to put our marriage back together. she will not go to counciling but has agreed to read some articles I have found on saving marriages. her claim is that she and I are incompatible because we rationalize about things differently and make decisions differently…that our lifestyles are too different but we’ve only been married for two years. she says her ex gives her security but this is the same guy who while they were dating for 10 years, slept with her best friend and her sister. All I want are my wife and daughter back. she is standing her ground and says she doesnt love me anymore but there was a reason she left him for me. I have to believe there is a way and that deep down she still loves me! I don’t want to give up. can someone please lend me some advice? thank you very much,
james
My son started a relationship with a teacher,(not his) in FL. he was a senior in high school,she is 15 yrs. his senior..I reported her to school board. They promised proper actions would taken nothing was done. He is now 25, they are married. She hates his family. We have moved out of Fla. where they still reside.He has nothing to to do with any of his family. They have just had a baby boy.We made 4 trips to Fl to try to resolve this problem in 3 years but they will not even speak to us.I have written many unanswered letters.We were notified of her pregnancy anonymously.We have not be permitted to see our only grandson.We wanted our son to enjoy his youth and have fun his senior yr. I would never have believed he would hurt us this way. We have been very good parents to him. Four yrs ago, we told them we will do anything they want to end this problem.We do not even have their phone no.Our family is wrecked.We offered to pay for his college education in our state as planned before her
My boyfriend just left me I am 5 months pregnant. I would like to hear from other women that have been through this and had their babies by now to know how things worked out.
My ex-girlfriend (25) and I (24) have been through a lot. She had 2 miscarriages and a still birth and all by me (never been preg by anyone else). I haven’t been there for her as much as she needed me to be due to my lack of maturity at the time and also now that I live 2 and 1/2 hours from her. I drove up to see her every weekend and just got my schedule changed so I’m off 4 days a week to make it to her appt’s and be there for her and the baby through the pregnancy. This past Aug she said she didn’t want to be with me anymore but that she still loved me. I asked her if we could try to work it out and after lots of convincing she she said we could try but it was real bumpy.
We were still sleeping together on occasion and she ended up pregnant in Oct. Needless to say because of the history, we were both nervous. Everything was going decent at this point but she was still saying that she doesn’t need to be with me just because she’s having my baby. She is also active duty military and found out right b4 christmas that she got orders 1000 miles away from me (which she had the choice to accept or deny and I know since I was in also). But she says she hates it so much where she is that she is going to leave. When she got the news she said she wanted to talk about it as a family, but yet she was already making decisions for the family, so what was left to talk about? Then when I didn’t tell her right away that I would be willing to go she automatically flipped it on me and said I’m being selfish and not thinking about the baby. I have a decent job and there’s no telling if I would be able to get a job right away where she is going and she’s being unreasonable and uncompromising.
Because of the arguing and her stubborness, I didn’t see her on christmas (that and I had to work the next day) and I worked new year’s eve and new year’s day. I called her new year’s eve and told her I would be willing to go so we could be a family and have a fresh start and that I’ll just start looking for jobs now. I even thought about going back active duty even though I hated being in the military. Pretty much I told her that I would make whatever sacrifice I had to, to be with her and my child. She started screaming at me, "no it’s too late. You had your chance, and now me and the baby are leaving and I don’t want nothing to do with you." We spoke maybe 2 times since then and she doesn’t even want me around to go to appt’s with her. She say’s she doesn’t love me anymore and she’s not even attracted to me now, but she supposedly doesn’t hate me. And if she stays with me our child is going to see how miserable I make her and she doesn’t want negativity around the baby. We haven’t seen each other since the end of Nov and I haven’t spoke to her in a week now and even the last time I called her she answered the phone saying "what!". She doesn’t even want to give the baby my last name anymore and doesn’t care how much I won’t be able to see my child.
What is going through her head right now? Will she ever come around? I love this girl and I really want to be a father to my child. But with her being 1000 miles away, how can I be? And she knows this. I know I made mistakes in our relationship but I never even cheated on her. Just had female friends, which didn’t sit well with her. What can or what should I do? Does she really want to be a single parent like she’s saying? Why shut me out when I want to be there?
If you have some time on your hand – here’s a question I posted last night:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjoX_FcD5szKGjuZPMf8Dwbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090607234916AAzkC9a
My husband and I are already talking about the divorce (in civilized and friendly manner) and I’m getting ready to file for it. However, I’m still going over my decision. Am I doing the right thing? Should I give him yet another chance.
To give more detail about what went wrong:
1. I gained some weight during the pregnancy (I wasn’t skinny when we got married either). This really bothers him. He told me many hurtful things about my body, about my undergarments. Things that make me feel ashamed to be naked when he’s in the room. (we haven’t been "together" for over a year). My mom was very good looking when my parents got married but now for the past 20 years she’s been overweight and when I tell my husband that my father didn’t stop loving her because of that and he’ll never leave her because of that, he says "I would".
2. He says that he doesn’t love me anymore. He is a calm and easy going person and even now that he moved out he tries to make jokes with me, but for the past 6 months when we’d talk seriously and I would ask him if he loves me, he says "no" and that he doesn’t have any feelings for me.
3. We have a 16 month old beautiful daughter. However, when I was 3 months pregnant and we had an argument he suggested that I have an abortion.
4. Before we had a baby we didn’t argue much, but every time there was some missunderstanding he would tell me that he wants a divorce ‘coz he thinks it’s easier this way. Each time I would ask him NOT to say that word and if he does then to think if he really wants to be married to me. He never really gave it any thoughts and everything went to "normal", he would tell me he loves me etc (that was pre-baby).
5. Last December I told him that I have enough and that he needs to figure out what he wants to do. He didn’t do anything to try to save this marriage. I got him some books which he didn’t read. I took him to counseling (we might have had a bad counselor) and after two sessions she told me that he’s immature, won’t change and that she’s surprised that a woman like me would want to be with a guy like him. She’s an older lady so I’m assuming she had some experience with marriage therapy. After those two sessions we each had our individual seesions, but it still didn’t change a thing.
6. We are both raised Catholics. We even had a church wedding (mostly because of my mother). However, I’m a Christian now and he says that he doesn’t believe in God. This was never an issue in our relationship. This isn’t the reason why I think about divorcing him.
7. Last September I opened my business (single practitioner esthetician). At that time my husband had another wave of "I want a divorce and I’m leaving you". I told him to make up his mind so that I don’t open the business. Next day he said that he doesn’t want to leave our daughter (his father did that to him) and he wants me to have the business. I’m not a lazy person and I am going to get a job if I can’t make my bus. work, however since I started working for myself I didn’t make money – just to cover the costs of running this business.
8. He says that I’m controling him because I call him after his work and ask him where he is and what time he’ll be home. Before we had baby, he would get very upset so I just stopped calling him (then one day he went to a bar with a friend after work and met some girls which later would call him and he first didn’t tell me what happened and then he lied – he says nothing happened). But after baby came I told him that I need to know what time he’s going to be home if he’s not planing to come home right after work. The therapist told him that this is marriage, then he said that if marriage means that he has to tell me where he’s going and what time he’ll return home then he doesn’t want to be married.
I did everything I could to try to help him with his emotional issues but it just doesn’t seem like he wants to really work on them. Because of everything that happened I don’t even know if I still love him, I’m confused and I’m hurt. I don’t believe in staying together for the sake of the kid. What’s the point of being unhappy and arguing. That’s not good for child either. But all those answers to my other question make me think if I’m doing the right thing? Is there anything else I could do? All my friends (and therapist) tell me that losing those 30lbs won’t change him, because if he would really love me – this wouldn’t bother him. I can’t turn his heart around. He’s a little upset that I asked him to move out. But how can I live with a man that says he doesn’t love me and that my body is ugly?
By the way, my husband is 37 years old.
Thanks for reading.
He proposed to me 3 months after we met. I’m 6 years younger. I thought he had his sh** together. He was crazy in love.
First of all, abortion provides individual rights for women to protect and defeat their rights to bear a child or not. Women have the right whether or not they want to continue being pregnant. Society today views abortion as a cold blooded crime and a sin of God for a woman who had have experience an abortion. Rather than viewing an abortion as a life decision for a woman to make and defend their own individual rights. Many antiabortionists support and defend more the fetuses than the women arguing that carry out an abortion is violating fetuses’ individual rights. On the essay of Ellen Willis, she makes an excited statement “I do consider the life of a fertilized egg less precious than the well-being of a woman with feeling, self consciousness…” (508) I strongly agree with Willis that the life of a woman is far more important than fetus and need to be protect and defeat women’s individual rights by allowing abortion to be continue in the United States. Some of the antiabortionists believe that the solution for eliminated abortion is for women to stop having unprotected sex and women to wait for marriage to have sex. According to the essay of Willis, “Criminalizing abortion doesn’t just harm individual women with unwanted pregnancies, it affects all women’s sense of themselves” (509) I agree with Willis if criminalizing abortion will conceded, it will violation women’s individual rights that women will feel unhopeful or powerless of their own bodies. What will happen to women who may experience a dangerous pregnancy or raped? One of my sisters had a dangerous pregnancy; she was in her sixth months and expecting little girl when the doctor discovered that my sister’s health and also the baby were danger. My sister needed to have an abortion to save her life or both my sister and the baby will dead. Without a doubt, my sister had an abortion but if government pass to criminalizing abortion. My sister will possible be dead right now. The same case applies to the women who are raped and having to experience an unwanted pregnancy. A raped victim itself is an emotional stage that many of them are unable to override her terrible experience. An unwanted pregnancy will increase the raped victim’s emotional stage that unwanted baby will possible have an unhappy life.
Trapped… Time Has Run Out For Over 49 Million Americans.
By Another’s Choice..
Who is trapped by the "choice" of abortion? Both the mother and the pre-born child. Abortion is legal through all nine months of pregnancy in the United States. The infamous Roe v. Wade case legalized abortion throughout the United States. The lesser-known companion case, Doe v. Bolton, defined the "health" exception. This case solidified Roe in allowing abortion through all nine months if the pregnancy threatens the life or health of the mother. The vague word used here is "health." What does "health" mean to you? Doe v. Bolton defined health to include, "physical, emotional, psychological, familial, and the woman’s age – relevant to the wellbeing of the patient." Essentially, Doe v. Bolton opened the door for "health" to mean anything a doctor or woman wanted it to mean. Some states have laws regulating late term abortions, and some states simply have no willing providers. However, women are free to go to other states to obtain one. Late-term abortions may be less common, but they are still legal.
Didn’t the Partial Birth Abortion Ban outlaw late-term abortions? No. In the 2007 decision, Gonzales v. Carhart, the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003 was upheld. The "Ban" merely regulates one specific method used in late-term abortions (D&X). Other late-term abortion methods, such as Dilation and Evacuation (D&E) and a modified version of partial birth abortion, may still legally be used to kill a child up to the moment of birth.
A woman is often trapped by the decision to abort. You probably know someone who has aborted her child. Why did she "choose" abortion? Did she want an abortion or was she coerced or "strongly encouraged" by her boyfriend, husband, or parents? Let’s face it; there are many reasons why women abort. One study found that 64% of women surveyed said they "felt pressured by others" to abort. Also, 54% said they were "not sure about the decision at the time." Does this sound like a "woman’s right to choose?" More than 49 million children have been legally trapped by "choice" in the United States since 1973. Time is running out for millions more. With more than 3,500 surgical abortions performed in the United States every day, you most likely have been, or will be, involved with someone considering abortion.
You owe it to yourself and those around you to make an educated decision about abortion.
Unlocking The Language Trap…
My Body, My Choice!
The term "pro-choice’ avoids talking about what you are choosing. Most people agree that we can be "pro-choice" about many things without offending anyone (i.e. chocolate or vanilla, paper or plastic). The term "choice" is value-neutral and meaningless unless we have some kind of idea what we are choosing. Society generally limits people’s choices when it comes to behaviors that are harmful or potentially harmful to other people. We, as a society, are "anti-choice" when it comes to theft, arson, murder, and a whole host of other actions.
A Woman’s "Right"/Freedom to Choose
It sounds almost patriotic. Our great American freedoms: freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, etc. Individual rights are important, but you will not find "a right to abortion" anywhere in the Constitution. We have come too far to reduce a woman’s "right" to mean the "right to kill her own children".
It’s Just Tissue
Consider the following facts: Simple tissue down not have a beating heart, brain waves, fingerprints, and unique DNA. A woman can carry a baby with a different blood type from her own. After the moment of fertilization, nothing new is added to the baby except oxygen, nutrition, and time. The only differences between a newborn and a pre-born baby are size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency. All of these facts confirm the reality that you are a person worthy of protection from the moment of fertilization.
A "Wanted" Child
Does your value depend on the degree that someone wants you? Let’s be honest- a child is a child. How could any baby be called unwanted when there are over one million couples waiting, hoping, and praying for a chance to adopt a child?
"Safe" Abortion
Many young women believed this lie until it was too late. The book, Lime 5, documents over 200 cases of women injured or killed by illegal, so-called "safe" abortions. The end result of an abortion is a dead baby, and the potential for cervical cancer, breast cancer, infertility, and psychological pain. Where’s the "safe" part?
"Back-Alley" Abortions
According to the Centers for Disease Control, 39 maternal deaths occurred due to illegal abortions in 1972 (the year prior to the Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion nationally). Any loss of life is tragic, but this is nowhere near the alleged "thousands of deaths by back-alley abortions."
"I’m Personally Opposed, But I Can’t Tell Others What To Do"
What if U.S. citizens had been willing to accept this justification for tolerating slavery? Our forefathers took away the "rights" of slave owners in order to give freedom and respect to African American people. Our youngest and most vulnerable are still slaves to the life and death decisions of others.
Rape and Incest
As traumatic as rape is, abortion does not "un-rape" the mother. The baby doesn’t deserve to die for the crime of his or her father. Pat, a victim of rape, said, "In choosing to abort, to kill the innocent child growing within me, I lowered myself to the level of the rapist… The effects of abortion are much more far-reaching than the effects of the rape in my life."
Fetal Deformities
No one’s perfect. Abortion for fetal deformities is a form of discrimination against disabled people. Eighty percent or more of Down Syndrome babies are now aborted. There are waiting lists of people that would be willing to adopt a special needs child. Who’s to say their lives aren’t worth living? When we make life and death judgments based on "quality of life," we start down the slippery slope of eugenics.
Abortion Methods:
Vacuum Aspiration
The abortionist inserts a hollow plastic suction tube into the dilated cervix. The uterus is emptied by either a manual syringe or high-powered suction machine. The baby’s body is torn into pieces as he or she is being pulled through the hose.
Dilation and Suction Curettage (D&C)
This is similar to the vacuum aspiration. However, after the baby is suctioned out of the uterus the abortionist inserts a curette, a loop-shaped steel knife, up into the uterus. With this the abortionist cuts the placenta and umbilical cord into pieces and scrapes them out into a basin. The uterus is again suctioned out to ensure that no body parts have been left behind. Bleeding is usually profuse.
Dilation and Evacuation (D&E)
Once the cervix is dilated considerably further than in the first trimester abortions, the abortionist inserts a narrow forceps that resembles a pliers. This instrument is needed because the baby’s bones are calcified, as is the skull. The abortionist inserts the instrument into the uterus, seizes a leg or other part of the body and, with a twisting motion, tears it from the baby’s body. The spine is snapped and the skull is crushed. Body parts are then reassembled and counted to make certain that the entire baby have been removed and that no parts remain in the womb.
Partial-Birth Abortion or Dilation and Extraction (D&X)
After undergoing two days of dilation, the abortionist performs an ultrasound to locate the child’s legs and feet. The abortionist then uses a large forceps to grasp one of the baby’s legs. He pulls firmly, forcing the child into a feet-down position.
Using his hands instead of forceps, the abortionist delivers the baby’s body in a manner similar to a breech birth. The baby’s head remains inside the birth canal. The abortionist uses surgical scissors to pierce the child’s head at the base of the skull opening. The abortionist then inserts a suction catheter into the brain and vacuums out the child’s brain tissue with a machine 29 times more powerful than a household vacuum.
RU-486 – Mifeprex (The Abortion Pill)
Mifeprex blocks the action of the hormone progesterone, which is needed to maintain the lining of the uterus providing oxygen and nutrients for the baby. Without it, the baby dies. Mifeprex is used in conjunction with the drug Cytotec (Misoprostol) which is taken two days after Mifeprex, causing uterine bleeding (sometimes profuse), strong contractions, and expulsion of the baby.
The pregnant woman visits the abortionist to obtain the Mifeprex pills, returns two days later to receive Misoprostol, and a third time to verify that the abortion is complete. The failure rate of this method is about 8% if the pills are taken within 7 weeks and up to 25% at 8-9 weeks. If the baby survives the abortion, there is an extremely high risk that he or she will suffer mental and/or physical birth defects from the Misoprostol.
Emergency Contraception – Plan B (The Morning-After Pill)
Emergency Contraception (EC) contains synthetic progestogen and is a large dose of the common birth control pill designed to be taken as a single dose after "unprotected sex." EC works in three ways. First, it attempts to stop ovulation. Depending on where a woman is in her cycle, ovulation may or may not have already occurred before EC was taken. Second, EC attempts to stop fertilization by impeding the transportation of either the sperm and/or the egg. Third, EC tries to stop implantation by altering (thinning) the lining of the endometrium (uterus) so the embryo cannot implant and receive nourishment from the mother. The first two methods are contraceptive, but if they fail, the third method can cause an abortion because it occurs after fertilization.
Newsflash
In the 2007 decision, Gonzales v. Carhart, the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003 was upheld. The Partial Birth Abortion Ban did not limit the frequency of late-term abortions. The "Ban" merely regulated one method used in late-term abortions. It is still legal for a doctor to kill a child up until the time he or she is born using a modified version. The baby can be delivered up to the navel and then killed.
EXPOSE
In Their Own Words: Former Abortionists and Clinic Staff Speak Out
"There is a great difference between the intellectual support of a woman’s right to choose and the actual participation in the carnage of abortion… seeing body parts bothers the workers…"
Judith Fetrow: Former Clinic Staff "Abortion Providers III"
"I want the general public to know what the doctors know- that this a person; that this is a baby. That this is not some kind of blob of tissue…"
Dr. Anthony Levantino: Former Abortionist "Meet the Abortion Providers"
"We were told to find the woman’s weakness and work on it. The women were never given any alternatives. They were told how much trouble it was to have a baby."
Debra Henry:Former Clinic Staff " Meet the Abortion Providers"
"But I think the greatest thing that got to us was the ultrasound… The baby really came alive on TV and was moving… That picture of the baby on the ultrasound bothered me more than anything else… We lost two nurses. They couldn’t take looking at it."
Dr. Joseph Randall: Former Abortionist " Meet the Abortion Providers"
Reproductive Racism
The vision of Planned Parenthood, founded in 1916 by Margaret Sanger, became the working arm toward eugenic goals. The stated vision was "reproductive freedom" through legalization of contraceptives to be used by the wealthy and imposed Eugenic Sterilization Laws as "birth control" for everyone else.
The organization most responsible for propagating the bigoted concepts of "Social Darwinism" is the American Eugenics Society. Founded in the early 1900’s, this organization was the sister organization of the British Eugenic Society which embraced the white- more specifically, the Anglo-Saxon- race supremacy doctrine. In the United States, eugenics became more than abstract philosophy. It degenerated into an active campaign to eliminate all those deemed inadequate and resulted in a worldwide crusade to abolish all human inferiority. The American Eugenics Society fostered the Jim Crow Laws of the South and Eugenic Sterilization Laws nationally, the anti-Semitic doctrine that encouraged Nazi Germany during the Jewish Holocaust and defined South-African Apartheid.
Despite claims that Margaret Sanger was not a racist of an anti-Semite, the fact remains that "she openly welcomed the worst elements of both in to the birth control movement." Henry Pratt Fairchild who wrote, "Birth control and eugenics are by nature closely related, and neither one can attain its complete fulfillment, or render its maximum service to society, without the other" and Lothrop Stoddard, author of, The Rising Tide of Color Against White World Supremacy, were two of many eugenicists who worked closely with Sanger.
Historical documents prove that Planned Parenthood acted as the willful arm of the American Eugenics Society and developed a plan, the ***** Project, as a propaganda program to infiltrate the black community with a "birth control for health" campaign through their civic leaders. Margaret Sanger expressed disdain for the poor and disabled whom she frequently dubbed "undeserving," "unfit", and "dysgenic." Her call for their sterilization and segregation is well known and is likely to have been the motive behind her "***** Project."
Lest one think reproductive racism was merely an issue of the past, current numbers prove the problem persists. Racial targeting by abortion providers, Planned Parenthood being the foremost national provider of abortions, has demonstrably resulted in a disproportionate number of minorities obtaining abortions. In the year 2000, African Americans, numbering 34.7 million individuals, or 12.3 percent of the U.S. population obtained 32% of abortions in that year. "Black women are almost four more times as likely as white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are 2.5 times as likely." According to updated census reports, African Americans are no longer the largest U.S. minority population. Abortion and population control have taken a devastating toll on the African American and Hispanic communities.
The Overpopulation Myth
Despite what you may have heard, there is no overpopulation crisis. Abortion, euthanasia, contraception, sterilization, and infanticide are not needed to quell an over abundance of the human population. "Plunging death rates, not soaring birth rates, are the main reason for rapid population increases in the last century. World average life expectancy more than doubled, rising from 30 years in 1900 to 63 years now. "World population increased not because people were breeding like rabbits, but because they stopped dying like flies."
In the United States, projections show that the 55 plus age group is going to grow from 24.7% of the population in 2010 to 31.5% in 2050. The UN Population Division states, "At the world level, the number of older persons is expected to exceed the number of children for the first time in 2047. In the more developed regions, where population aging is far advanced, the number of children dropped below that of older persons in 1998." Young people are needed in the workforce to support a rising population that is retiring or unable to work.
In 73 countries around the world today, including the United States, the total fertility rate is below replacement level. A nation’s total fertility rate must be 2.1 children or above in order to maintain population level. The total fertility rate of Europe is well below replacement at 1.45. Government incentives to have more children are already in place in countries such as France, Italy, Poland, Australia, Singapore, Japan, Germany, Austria, Russia, Scandinavia, and the Netherlands.
According to the United Nations Population Division, "below-replacement fertility prevails in the more developed regions and is expected to continue to 2050." We need to start looking at the problems of underpopulation and economic disaster occurring as populations rapidly age, rather than spreading the myth of overpopulation and "need’ for abortion and birth control.
The Science of Sex
I’m a 23 year old virgin saving sex for marriage. What did I miss by not being sexually active in college? STD’s, unplanned pregnancy, heartache, and a lot of baggage that would follow me the rest of my life? I can live without that.
When I meet the man I’m going to marry and walk down the aisle towards him, I’m not going to think, "I wish I had slept around more, had more boyfriends, experimented more, etc." No Way! I’m saving myself for my future husband. And I don’t regret a minute of it.
-College Graduate
Sex is a powerful force of nature. It bonds people together, is pleasurable, and can create babies. So how does premarital sex damage relationships? The answer lies within the powerful oxytocin hormone released in the body during sexual activity. For example, picture duct taping a girl’s arm to a guy’s arm. Now rip off the tape (OUCH!) and use the same piece of tape to wrap her arm to a new guy’s arm. What happens? Well, it hurts like crazy when you rip off the tape. After switching partners several times, partials of skin and hair left on the tape reduce the adhesiveness so it cannot attach as effectively.
The same thing happens with sex. When oxytocin is released in the brain during sexual activity, it acts like emotional super glue and bonds you to that partner. When you break up (OUCH!) and have a new sexual partner, your ability to bond and produce oxytocin is damaged. Just like debris on the duct tape, previous sexual experience reduces the ability to bond correctly. Brain chemicals don’t care how old, mature, or in control of your emotions you are- they still create a bond. No one can beat the brain chemistry behind sex.
On the flip side, imagine that you never removed the duct tape. Eventually it would just feel like part of you. When a couple waits until marriage to have sex, and they remain faithful to each other, oxytocin acts as super glue between a husband and wife. It also helps maintain the "high" of sex. If you have been sexually active in the past, there is hope. Oxytocin levels can return to normal if you stop engaging in sexual activity and begin to heal the physical and emotional scars developed from premarital sex. Give yourself a year or so before you attempt to get into a new relationship, and commit to save sex for marriage. You won’t regret it.
What About Birth Control?
All hormonal contraceptives (the pill, patch, mini-pill, shot, vaginal ring, emergency contraception, intrauterine devices, etc.) have the capability to cause an abortion. Hormonal contraceptives work in three way: by attempting to stop ovulation, by thickening cervical fluids to prevent fertilization, and by thinning the lining of the uterus to prevent implantation. The first two methods can cause and abortion because it occurs after fertilization.
Hormonal contraception does not always stop ovulation. When break-through ovulation occurs, there is a possibility of fertilization. Studies have shown that ovulation rates in women taking oral contraceptives ranged from 1.7% to 28.6% per cycle. Ovulation rates for women taking progestin only pills (the mini-pill) ranged from 33% to 65%. When these contraceptives do no stop fertilization, they have the capability to cause an abortion because the lining of the uterus may be too thin and inhospitable for the embryo to implant and receive nourishment. Birth control manufacturers insist that their products do not terminate an existing pregnancy. However, they have incorrectly redefined the terms "contraception" and "pregnancy" to mean the moment of implantation rather than the moment of fertilization (implantation happens 7-10 days after fertilization).
Emergency contraception (EC) is a large dose of the common birth control pill. EC is also known as the morning-after pill and is designed to be taken as a single dose after "unprotected sex." Documented side effects for EC include nausea, abdominal pain, fatigue, headache, dizziness, vomiting, diarrhea, breast tenderness, menstrual changes, and ectopic pregnancy. Contrary to popular arguments, EC does not decrease pregnancies and surgical abortions. EC had been available in Scotland since 1984, but pregnancy rates have not decreased and sexually transmitted infection rates have increased.
NO REGRETS: The True Story Of My Adoption Plan
When I first found out I was pregnant I couldn’t control my crying. I shook uncontrollably. I had never felt so lonely or confused in my life. I wanted my boyfriend’s support. I shouldn’t have been surprised when he told me to have an abortion. My mind raced to justify the abortion. Perhaps my child would be better off dead than in a broken family. I thought that an abortion would be the answer to my problem. I tried to tell myself that my child wasn’t really a baby, he was just tissue… I told myself lie after lie until I made the appointment. But no matter how hard I tried to fool myself, I knew I carried a baby. Deep down, I realized if I were to take my baby’s life I would regret it forever. When I decided not to show up to the appointment, I felt so relieved. It didn’t take long for me to face reality and see my baby as a gift.
I realized it was my duty as mother to protect my child’s best interest and give him all I could. Many relatives didn’t understand why I was even thinking of adoption. Who in the world would give up their child? Me. That’s who. Of course I wanted to be the one to rock him and watch him grow. But beyond my wants I knew my child deserved more. Adoption was the best way I could show love to my child.
My boyfriend was overly thrilled about adoption… But nevertheless was willing to interview some couples with me. We met with them several times to ensure we found the best. The couple we chose was married, deeply in love, and welcomed our son as their own. Their love for my child is divine. I can hold my head up high and people are amazed. The birthfather, my family, and my friends congratulated me on my decision and came to realize it was out of love.
Yes, I grieved the loss of my child. But the joy far exceeds the sorrow. I thank God that I don’t have to visit the memory of an aborted baby. I can live with my decision and so can my son..
With no regrets,
Molly
Obviously, as you can assume.. I’m completely Pro-Life.. There is no excuse to have an abortion.. It’s murder.. It always has been, and it always will be.. Also, as to the people arguing, well, what if the mother/parents can’t financially take care of the baby, or gives him/her a bad upbringing? If for whatever reason the mother/parents are unable to work, therefore, can’t support their child/children, why would it be so horrible to live off of welfare.. Welfare is there to help people.. Also, you can’t say "Why bring a baby into this world if you’re just going to have to raise it with money from the government? Because, there are a lot of people that don’t even have kids, that are living off of the government, most disabled… So, there isn’t really any argument.. And there are people that have children, that are barely scraping by, but they didn’t decide to kill their child just because they wouldn’t have the best of the best.. I would rather give my children just the basics.. food, clothes, a roof over their heads, and love.. rather than have had an abortion.. Furthermore, there are parents out there that are together, have decent jobs, can afford whatever they need, and still don’t give their children a proper upbringing.
Also, just because a woman feels she can’t, or just simply doesn’t want to raise a child.. She most likely could.. And there is always adoption.. It’s a very good choice, especially if you don’t want to raise your baby yourself.. And to the women out there that are seriously thinking about killing their child.. I think that you would regret killing your child more, rather than if you put him/her up for adoption.. He/she could have a wonderful life.. Why take that away from them? You’d think you’d want the best for them..
It doesn’t matter how you were raised or what your childhood was like.. You can turn your life around, and make something of yourself.. But, that’s all up to you.. People shouldn’t blame other people for the way they are.. I understand some people have had pretty horrible childhoods/lives.. But, it’s what you do with your life now, that matters.. You don’t have to keep living your life in the wrong way, just because that’s the way you were raised… It’s all you now.. Anyway, to get to my question.. If you were pro-choice before you read the actual facts about abortion, has it made you change your views? Also, what are your views on abortion?
Abortion is a very serious problem in the world.. And I just thought that some people would actually care enough to read this.. Even, though it is pretty long..
I’m not trying to change anyone’s opinion.. It’s just that some people don’t base their opinions on the facts.. They just believe whatever they want to without even knowing what they are making an opinion about..
To Lizzy: You said that you have problems with your "organs". It would depend on what kind of "problems" that you had whether or not you’d be able to physically/healthily carry a baby. You also said that if you kept taking your medicines, (not knowing if you were pregnant) you’d have a deadly miscarriage? What exactly do you think a miscarriage is?
Also, about a child getting in the way of someone’s lifestyle and giving you stretch marks. I can’t believe you would make that kind of remark, especially about the stretch marks.. That’s pretty low, if you ask me.. You’re saying, you’d rather kill your baby so you don’t get stretch marks, rather than to have your baby at all..
And it should be on people’s conscience.. They did something horrible, and now they have to live with it..
"So, it’s best left to the professionals to keep the women from hurting or even killing themselves." So, you’re saying.. Let’s protect the women from hurting/killing themselves. By killing the innocent babies within them, so their life can be the way it was before?
Also, about your comment on overpopulation. "It isn’t like all of man kind will be aborted off of earth, lol." Do you find abortion to be funny, because it isn’t? You’re basically saying we aren’t going to kill off the human race because we’re killing babies everyday. Please read the section in my "question" about The Overpopulation Myth.
i have been doing my research on how to be a better mother. i’ve read all types of pregnancy and parenting books. now i’ve moved on on how to save money. i think I will use cloth diapers during the day and disposible ones at night. I’ve also thought of bying some of the basic stuff now and putting them in storage in our basement. I also see that motherhood.com and mimi maternity have a great sale going on. Do you think it would be crazy to buy maternity stuff while they are on sale now. or should I wait untill we get pregnant. We really want a baby but we want to wait a year to enjoy the marriage and at least have our financial security really secure. if it happens now it wouldn’t be a problem but we want to travel first. So what do you think. am i too obsessed or is this normal and ok to do.
We broke up about two weeks ago right after my daughter was born. we have been going through problems through out my pregnancy which I have to admit had a lot to do with my hormonal changes. He left me right before I had my daughter how do I get him back. We have never had infidelity problems just little things that blow up to be big things.
My husband and I have been together for 14 years. We were highschool swethearts and had the perfect relationship. Over the years, he has cheated on me once for a period of 6 months during my pregnancy. He has also contacted and ex girlfriend to see if there was anything there. He has also met girls online. He came out to me and told me that he does not know if he loves me anymore, and the reason why he cheats is because he has no feeling for me anymore. he says he thinks there may be someone else out there that can give him tingles. How do I fix my marriage, and bring the spark back in it? He is willing to work on it, but I dont know what to do to make hin fall in love with me. I think he may be going through a midlife crisis, and is re-evaluating his life. Please if anyone knows how to re vamp a relationship, tell me.
I find the idea silly. What if you wait all that time, miss out on all the fun, and get married, and then you two aren’t sexually compatible? He’s a sadist and she’s a prude? That’s bound to cause problems later on.
To those who wait for religious reasons: you’re dumb. Quit letting yourself be brainwaished and think for yourself. (Deny it all you want, but that’s what’s happening.)
So, ASIDE from the fact that some fictional book might tell you pre-marital sex is wrong, why do people wait for marriage?
Edit: I come from a corner of the internet where what I’ve said above is LESS than mild. Don’t get your panties in a bunch 
Also, people crack sex up to be sacred and special and only meant for one person. I just can’t grasp this mindset. I think it can be done both for fun and for love. Nothing wrong with exploring, a one night stand, if you use protection. Psychologically, we lose our innocence long before we have sex, so I don’t see the significance.
Metalhead, sex is indeed an instinct. But that means nothing. Seeking water when we are thirsty is also an instinct. Why have we any reason to suppress instincts? they exist for a reason. And while humanity has come a long from living in nomadic tribes where people randomly had sex, is repressing your nature for years really necessary? Why would someone ever request their partner to prove their love so cruelly?
Ah, perhaps I simply lack a rampant fear of STIs and pregnancy. Considering all the precautions I take, the chance of either happening to me is maybe .0001%. I guess that’s a chance I’m willing to take 
My ex and I were irresponsible (no lectures please). She wants to get back together and I don’t but think maybe I should because It will help lower her stress during pregnancy which is good for my future child. Should we get back together for the baby???????
