This is my second marriage. We have been married a little over a year, and yet I am totally insecure. I’m overweight and so is he, and yes I was overweight when he met me, so it wasn’t like I gained weight once we got married. I also stopped working, (his request) about a month after we got married. And I have not been able to find other work. I have always been a HARD worker and not working has literally destroyed my self esteem.
He was deeply in love with his ex-wife and she really hurt him. It took him a long time to get over her. She has a daughter with another guy, but my husband feels like he is her dad. They talk on the phone often, and he will often talk to the girl’s mother. Although he says the mother disgusts him, and he feels she’s one step above white trash, the fact that he talks to her drives me up the wall. Because I am constantly worried that his old feelings will come back. See, when we first started going together and then got married, he was hardly talking to the daughter or the mom. They were on kind of a "hiatus", I guess because of some kind of difference of opinion. But since we have married he has reconciled with the daughter and they started talking again. And I am constantly worried that he will want to go back with her mom. She was his first serious love, and she works and is much better looking than me. At least I feel she is, my husband disagrees.
He looks at other women a lot. Women that are way better looking than me. But he says looking is all he is doing. Which I believe, but I don’t understand why, because he could literally take his pick. We don’t have sex that often, because he has diabetes and high blood pressure which has caused him to have ED and he is considerably older than me. I’m 39 and he is 50. And for some reason lately, whenever we do have sex, I am worried that he is thinking of her. Or he’s thinking of somebody better looking. Because he couldn’t POSSIBLY be attracted to me. Despite him saying I am the prettiest girl he knows, and that he wouldn’t leave me for her or any other girl I have the hardest time being convinced of this. Why? What can I do to snap out of this?
