I’m finding it hard to come to terms with the situation. I found out about the relationship through the internet. I have messages from him a few weeks before the proposal professing his love and adoration to me. I realize that life moves on, but I find myself now at a standstill even though I know my decision to leave the relationship was the right one.
So this guy John that I have known for almost 3 yrs dated since July/August of 2009 until Feb 2010.We split up and had no communication for almost 2 months(non-speaking terms).Anyways I saw him around a couple of times at the same bar that he goes to where I was with(once 5 weeks ago or so) and once last week.Last week I asked him if he would like to grab a cup of coffee with me and catch up.I was trying to be civilized etc and just polite.He said "no" which I expected and accepted and I was about to walk away when he started to vent abt. the break up and his life and so forth.I listened to all of this for 20 minutes of so,he was raising his voice,I was telling him to calm down and next thing I know he kissed me and proposed to me.I accepted the proposal(stupid I know!) but hrs. later found out that my ex had a couple of drinks with his friends.Anyways him and I chatted,catched up,all his friends knew that we both were outside and talking.I was introduced that night to his dad who has lung cancer as his fiance.His dad was so happy that his son found someone to make him happy.The ex and I talked until 4am and 9am comes and the ex had some errands to run,I call my ex a couple of hrs later b/c we needed to talk and he calls back.He finally says that the prior night was us moving too fast and that we should remain good friends.I said sure yet even though I was not sure how I would take it.Monday of this week I called and asked him if he meant what he said,he played the dumb role and asked me what part and I told him the whole thing on Thursday.I guess he still remembered since he was not opened to talk about the subject and always said comments like how I should drop the subject and how he does not want any more drama.I asked him my final question which was how someone can say something and 12 hrs later have those words taken back.He still wanted to be friends he said after I asked him all those 2 questions.After that we did not speak for a couple of days.I called him 2 days ago and he was busy and I made it a 20 second convo saying that since he is too busy I will let him go(what he usually does anyways).Today I was polite to call and wish him happy Good Friday.We talked briefly and he had to go since he hates driving and talking at the same time.I told him that I could be his friend but I cannot.I still like him more than a friend so here is my question:do I sit down with him and tell him "John, look I know we have agreed that we ought to remain friends.But I cannot be your friend because I like you more than a friend.I understand if you cannot or do not return my feelings but I cannot be stuck here in limbo."….I just want to tell him how I really feel so I can get it off my chest.I had the guts to ask him to grab coffee and that took a lot of guts.I am not sure how to approach this and tell him how I still feel with out making him uncomfortable.
PS:
Him,our mutual friend Hanan and I were best friends before him and I started to date.Now since I am best friends with Hanan and she is good friends with him as well well it became complicated.Mine and his break up was supposed to be personal but expanded to include a large group of friends,our siblings,close and best friends,etc.Now he gave our mutual friend an ultimatum:that she has to choose who she wants to be friends with either him or I which I find stupid.My friend wants to stay out of the drama and same here except that he does not realize that he,himself is creating the drama or at least most of it now.My friend Hanan and I have stepped away from the whole drama about the break up yet the was the one who could not let go if he made our friend choose.
REAL CHANCE of LOVE, Is anybody suprised by the announcement of a 2nd Season…?LOL?
Yep it’s OFFICIAL Real Chance of Love has been renewed for a 2nd go round.
Big Surprise There ! Seems Cornfed and Real called it quits on there let’s take it slow romance after she ” found out about the Hoopz proposal on I Love Money ” Things fell apart…
Yeah right ! LOL
Will you be watching…?
If you love something, set it free…..
"If you love something set it free; if it returns it is yours forever
If It Never Returns, It Was Never Yours To Begin With."
Until recently, I perceived this quote as romantic…. but unrealistic….
Until recently, until a past love re-entered my life, did I actually start pondering its proposal.
Can it be? If I chose to let him go because things were not right for us at that time and my lost love has returned now, is it mine forever, my true love? Did the universe decide this is the right time for us?
A little background on my "freed love". We were young, I was 16, and he was 18. We were crazy, about both life and each other. He had just graduated high school, I had just moved back to the states from Colombia. We wanted to just have fun. We both had that “let’s live life to the fullest” attitude. Everyday was an adventure with him. I remember one day laying on the couch with him and saying “I want to go camping”. He was all forth it, “let’s go! Tomorrow, Friday, ill go to Wal-Mart buy some grub and we will go camping!” And we did. We invited friends, made it a huge camp out and had the time of our lives. Many times we had the time of our lives, just being spontaneous. He was an amazing man, if he could bring the stars down from the sky one by one for me he would.
But with so much passion during the good times there was that same amount of passion during the bad times, rage. He had an anger problem. It did not help I was a depressed manic! I had lost my grandma, my world, and it brought me into the darkest depression anyone can endure. I almost did not make it out alive. I was hospitalized for three weeks under antidepressant medication. He was there for me in my hard times, but he could not understand my actions half the time. We would fight continuously, aggressively, screams and shouts, and often physical.
I graduated high school and decided to go to college locally, for both him and my mother. However, once there I needed freedom to live the college life, to be completely young and stupid, before I could be grown and mature in the real world. He wanted to give me enough space but he could feel me slipping away from him. He proposed that first year of college because he wanted me to be with him for the rest of his life. We thought we could make it Trough College. But we did not; I broke up with him at the end of my first year in college. I broke up with him because I needed to live life and see what was out there for me, before I could settle down.
The break up was horrible. It was physical. The cops got involved. We both threw objects and punches at each other. I broke his heart and he broke mine……and we went out separate ways.
I am now 23, five years have passed since our teenage romance, and he has entered my life once again. Facebook is the culprit (I swear even president Obama probably has a fb account lol.) I was surprised to hear from him, I felt I had broken his heart so gravely even if I were to see him again in my life; his words toward me would not be pretty ones.
I was speechless, excited, hopeful, frightened; every emotion was felt at least once. We spoke on the phone for about three hours, about where we are in life, our goals, our adventures, and of course our love.
He lives in North Carolina (after I broke his heart he had to move out of Florida!) I still live in Florida. I am still in school; he has finally started his own business. I am independent; he has taken proper steps to manage his anger issues. He is single, I am single. We decided to catch up because we each hold a special place in each others heart. But here I am today wondering, contemplating this quotes proposal. Is this man in my life for a second chance at our love? Is he my one true love?
I am due to go see him in North Carolina in about three weeks….but I do not know if it’s the right choice? To fly 800 miles to go see a man who I had such a dangerous relationship with, whose heart I broke into a thousand pieces. We say we have no expectations, but I know we both feel like maybe this is our second chance at great love and maybe this one time we will be together until we grow old. And what if I do fall in love with him yet again….have I experienced enough in my life to finally be with him. am I worthy enough of his love, Will we be abusive to each other again!?
I know I need not the what if’s, but This is a complicated decision for me. I try to talk to my best friends about it they are no help lol sam tells me go for it he is your lobster, but nat tells me I am making a mistake. I know I am suppose to follow my heart, but the heart knows no logic, and sometimes you need logic…..
I have a little law firm near the water, and my wife of fourteen years unexpectedly came up to my office last month, only to catch me going down on my (female) secratary. She threw-up in the office and wouldn’t come home for a few days.
When she got back home, she asked me why I did it. I told her that our marriage just didn’t grant me the lustful side of life I need.I just let her vent her frustrations then left to go get a BJ from my secratary.
My wife told me about her proposal, when I got back home. I was to join PETA (the national foundation for animal rights) or she would divorce me. She is an animal fanatic and has wanted me to put my financial weight behind the organization for a while. She knew she had me in a corner. Divorce or pay her off by funneling money into PETA’s coffers.
But then two crazy things happened after that.
About a week after I had made my first contribution to PETA, I was on the phone with the secratary, since I didn’t believe my wife was home. She was home, in fact. And she overheard me telling the secratary that I was surprised over how she (my wife) had never caught me in any of my past affairs. That was the moment my wife realized that I had cheated on her with other women. And her attitude changed from there.
But what really confuses me is what happened next. A couple weeks after that infamous phone call, I was driving home and I just happened to be going over the speed limit. And, simultaneously, a dog walked out in front of my car as a sheriff deputy hit his sirens and lights. Normally the law enforcement use their lights for traffic violations. But the deputy’s sirens made me kneejerk my steering wheel and run the dog over. I got out and tried to revive the dog, but he was dead.
Everything was taped. The deputy taped me killing the dog. My wife was told about the incident, and somehow the tape made its way to PETA. At my last PETA event I was formally removed from the organization. I was called "dog killer" until I quit arguing my case and just left.
Now my wife is divorcing me, since I can no longer be a member of PETA (the only reason she was hanging onto our marriage)
Our local Sheriff is young and single and handsome, and, since we live in a small town, everyone knows him. I saw him and my wife having lunch the other day. Did my wife sleep with the sheriff to get the tape, then remove the scene where it shows he trying to save the dog, and give it to PETA?
Did her finding out about the other women push her over the edge?
And, finally, is there a way to save my marriage?
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