42 Things to Do in Walmart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
4. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
5. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.
6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what
happens.
7. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10".
8. Play with the automatic doors.
9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven’t seen
you in so long!…". See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.
10. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?"
11. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re
taking it for a "test drive."
12. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.
13. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.
14. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
15. Put M&M’s on layaway.
16. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
17. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from
the other aisles.
18. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,"…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
19. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
20. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won’t you people just leave me alone?"
21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any
Shnerples here?"
22. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
23. Take bets on the battle described above.
24. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
25. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible."
26. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
27. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
28. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.
29. "Re-alphabetize" the CD’s in Electronics.
30. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
restrooms
31. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
32. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
33. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It’s those
voices again!"
34. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it
35. Go into the toy section and throw all the Dora the Explorer toys on the ground and when people try to pick them up yell at them "SWIPER NO SWIPING!".
36. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying I’m gonna save us from that bomb!"
37. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “good girl, good Bessie.".
38. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
39. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
40. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, Red Rover!"
41. throw packets of skittles at random people yelling " you wanna taste the freaking rainbow!?! There TASTE IT."
42. Go at the poultry section and declare that the chicken are you minions and this is you empire
