Me and Maya been best friends since 8th grade. We 24 years old now. I’m bisexual(more lesbian than straight) and I’m slowly but surely coming out the closet. Maya has been my best friend for 11 years but what I felt for her was secretly bigger than that. My entire family loves her because Maya grew up with a neglecting mother and no father. So, they showed her support and even came to live with us at some point. Maya dated my older brother for three years and she had a baby girl with him. I gave birth to my son two months later. So, we both became mothers around the same time(age 17). My brother was murdered a year after my son and my niece was born. I admit I was always jealous of the fact that my brother was dating my best friend but believe me, I was hurt and devastated when my brother died. So, me and Maya shared everything together. My parents helped us raise the kids being that my brother was dead and my son’s father was a deadbeat. We had many boyfriends but nothing serious. It’s always been about ME, MAYA, MY SON and HER DAUGHTER(MY NIECE).
But 4 years ago, Maya met Antoine and she fell so hard in love it made me sick. Once again, I felt like another man was taking Maya away from me. But on the flip side, I admit that I was attracted to Antoine in addition to being secretly in love with Maya. We’ve been flirting for 4 years before something finally jumped off. By the time me and Antoine had sex, he and Maya was already married with a infant son together. This affair went on for 6 months until Maya found out about it when her old nosy neighbor opened up her big mouth. Maya confronted me at my job and attacked me physically almost getting me fired and herself arrested. She kicked Antoine out for 2 months and then let him back in. But she won’t talk to me still and its not fair. I do NOT want her husband! I tried to apologize. I love Maya so much and I told her that in a looooonng letter I wrote her expressing my REAL feelings for her. She emailed me calling me a "hoe" and a "dike" and that I need to "get help".
I know I was wrong. But it makes me cry. Why is she always choosing men over me? And does she have the right to forbid me from seeing my niece? That’s the ONLY PIECE OF MY BROTHER THAT I HAVE LEFT!! My son and her daughter are cousins but they’re like siblings. How can she take it out on THEM? I love Maya and its a shame she doesn’t reciprocate. How am I any more wrong than Antoine is? What should I do?
