How do we bring back the spark in our relationship.?
My fiance and I have been together for two years now and we have a little boy who is our world…
In the beginning our relationship was amazing.. but lately it seems like the spark went out and I don’t know how to get it back…
I’m really shy… and sensitive about the way I look and the way I act sometimes… I still get all nervous around him…
So my question is… have any of you gone through this?
And if so… how did you bring back the fire in your relationship/marriage…
Any suggestions are much appreciated…
And from everyone…
thank you
Related Information:
Married 20 years. Two teenage children.
Difficult relationship/marriage from the very start. Basically is really seems we are not a good match at all. Many instances of horrible fights (some witnessed by the kids) including her getting physical toward me. She has attacked me physically numerous times over the years, some scars still remain. It has been a while since the last time. Maybe a year. She had an affair on me 10 years ago and we were separated for one year. During which she lived with this man. After I did my begging to save marriage and she refused, I re-connected with a high school sweetheart whom I feel is the love of my life to this very day. My wife finally came back and asked to work things out. I decided to try only because the kids were so young then. I broke that girl heart whom I was seeing.
The time since then has been the same with us as a couple. Some good times but so much discord. She has asked me many times to leave. She has multiple times told me she hates me. We are not good together.
Fast Forward: We are separated again. We are in different states now. This all due to her getting into legal trouble with the law. She is currently awaiting her fate with the courts. I have discovered she has been again talking to her lover from the affair 10 years ago. I have been alone, raising our two kids through all this. She cannot get a job because of her problems. In a nutshell, she has ruined our lives. I also blame her for health problems my father developed from all the stress of this.
I no longer love this woman. I took much time to gather all my thoughts and told her I want a Divorce. I have also told my children. I do not want to go back after all that has happened. And going back will have so many problems financially and she will have fines and penalties. We will have to claim BK. All because of her foolish actions against the law. And getting caught!!
Before I told her and the kids, I was resolute!! I have the support of my family. It’s sad, it’s not what I wanted for my life. But now she is throwing all the emotional cards at me. Begging, pleading, telling me she will change. Telling me I an ruining the kids lives. I am throwing away 20 years and things will get better. And she will get help with her anger issues etc etc etc…. Crying and Begging.
I was so sure of myself. And I think deep down I still am. But all her words have stalled my momentum. And because I do feel sorry for her, I let her continue to plead her case.
I don’t think there is any way the marriage is viable. But I am stalled at finally shutting her down and starting my life over. Why?
I love my kids. I am here for them. But I just can’t make the same decision twice based solely on them. They by the way are not happy with my decision….. But they don’t know all of what I’ve told above either….
Your Feedback Yahoo World……………..
Related Information:
We have been on and off for nearly 3 yrs. Off bc I’m "basically his first gf and he hasn’t met/dated many women." We both are entering our late 20′s. We have broken up twice over the 3 yrs. We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t. Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me with some other guy & vise/versa, and doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together? He was on my computerthe other day, and when I went to use it he left open his yahoo! answers account with all these questions he’d asked about getting back together with me. I swear I did not go looking for it, all of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s asked over and over again whether he should get back together with me, and even before I was pregnant. He asked about marriage, like can you know it’s the right one with out much experience. Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me, like family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts with my parents, and special outtings. I told him recently I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, and are too different. Meaning I want to settle down and have romance. He said we weren’t too different and were on the same page and that family vacations together sounds really nice. I also said I wanted him to be something he’s not and that’s not fair. I want a guy who’s not affraid to settle down, and have a family etc. Point is since then, I’ve noticed him changing, and now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him and wants his approval. I don’t get what’s going on, he’s acting really strange. Finally, he asked me if I wanted to take a road trip with him to this far away place and go cliff jumping…after baby is born. .he had the month and everything. Why would he ask that? What is going on??
Just for the record I want a family unit, and don’t get me wrong if he really did want to get back together I would.
(No lectures please)
fyi.. we did use protection responsibly, just it failed us 8 months ago. So please no lectures
Related Information:
We have been on and off for nearly 3 yrs. Off bc I’m "basically his first gf and he hasn’t met/dated many women." We both are entering our late 20′s. We have broken up twice over the 3 yrs. We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t. Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me with some other guy & vise/versa, and doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together? He was on my computerthe other day, and when I went to use it he left open his yahoo! answers account with all these questions he’d asked about getting back together with me. I swear I did not go looking for it, all of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s asked over and over again whether he should get back together with me, and even before I was pregnant. He asked about marriage, like can you know it’s the right one with out much experience. Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me, like family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts with my parents, and special outtings. I told him recently I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, and are too different. Meaning I want to settle down and have romance. He said we weren’t too different and were on the same page and that family vacations together sounds really nice. I also said I wanted him to be something he’s not and that’s not fair. I want a guy who’s not affraid to settle down, and have a family etc. Point is since then, I’ve noticed him changing, and now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him and wants his approval. I don’t get what’s going on, he’s acting really strange. Finally, he asked me if I wanted to take a road trip with him to this far away place and go cliff jumping…after baby is born. .he had the month and everything. Why would he ask that? What is going on??
Just for the record I want a family unit, and if he really did want to get back together I would.
(No lectures please)
Related Information:
