Like many others, I see myself as a victim of the world economic downturn. 6 months ago, I left my baby, my wife, my mother and my sister (we have a small family) behind in the UK to go abroad and help us out financially. We have achieved financial stability (for the short term) as a result. I am fortunate that I stay with relatives who although I don’t get on with but do enough to get by every day. This has meant that I do not have to worry about rent etc. My only cost is a lease car which I pay for every month.

I work in one of the Gulf States and was accepted a job on whim out here which meant that I was able to double my salary. I now send 90% of what I earn back to the UK to help cover the mortgage and bills back home. I also left the UK with debts of around 6000 pounds because I was earning less than what I was paying out every month. I would always end up being overdrawn every month. I save very little here although I am making progress in repaying my debts. Before I left the UK, I was stuck in a dead end job which I worked really hard at but was stitched up by the management who treated me very badly when I decided to apply for numerous internal job openings. I worked for this company for two years and got nothing out of it.

I do not like living here. It is a complete culture shock. 6 months in, I am feeling angry, frustrated, lonely, home sick and I feel quite ill on a mental level. I am due to fly out to visit my family in June but do not know how I will be able to cope when I return back to the Gulf. I feel very insecure about myself and my family feels the same way.

Add to that, our fixed term mortgage is going to end in October so we need to find a new affordable mortgage. I am worried that it may be more expensive than what we are paying at the moment. Our main challenge in the UK was that we (wife and I) earned less than what we were spending. We did not even have a lavish lifestyle and only went out once a month but our bills were through the roof.

Now as I wait to fly out in two weeks, I am both happy that I will be seeing my baby for the first time since she was born 6 months ago and my small family who are the world to me, but sad because we may have to endure more emotional pain. I don’t honesty know how I will be able to cope if the worse happens and we were to live separately for longer. The worse fear is that our marriage may be put under strain which I dread because me and my wife have a beautiful relationship. I am sorry if I have rambled on for a long time but I am sitting here in the office in front of the computer totally lost and drained under the stresses of my mind.


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My ex told me he’s getting married after 7 years of our on and off again relationship. I came to the conclusion that he never loved me. 2 years ago he gave me 0 to help me out with my rent. Now, that he is getting married I guess he wants it back. He has been calling me and texting me, not asking for the money but wanting to know how I’m doing. He never once asked for it or left it on the voicemail. (No, I’m not answering the phone or calling him back bc we have already said goodbye and I’m tried of drawing this thing out.) I didn’t know he wanted the money until I went on a trip to the west coast and he sent his friend that lives there that knows my friend I was with to tell me that he wants me to give it to him. He sent a message through someone while I was on vacation. He always knows how to ruin my time. (had always in the past) I am unemployed and can’t afford to pay him back. He is not a broke man and does not need the money. I honestly think he is trying to just get me to call him and if I just send the money it will still not be the end. What should I do? I don’t want it to go towards his wedding expenses. He should let me just have it. He has broken my heart 1000 times in 7 years. What do you think is the best thing to do??? I was gonna write him an email telling him how I feel and ask him if I can keep it. Please ask for more info if you need it in order to offer your advice.


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