Ok, BACKGROUND: My boyfriend & I are going on 3 years this June .. he’s 30 and I’m 24. We’ve lived together for 2 years.
I’m always get baffled when I hear my friends or people in our age group announce engagements after being together only 9 months- 2 yrs (That seems to be the most popular times). I expressed this to a few of my friends, I’m a little hurt that it’s going on 3 years and my boyfriend has not popped the question. I know, I know – it’s different for all couples. But we’ve been living together for so long, that I finally told him how I feel last night.
That did not go over so well, he got very upset. We don’t see eye to eye. I don’t know what he is waiting for, we already live like a married couple for 2 yrs. He said he’s not sure if I’m "the one" yet. That hurt. So I wanted to know why he is still with me then, if I’m not the one then we shouldn’t be together. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I just feel like hey, I’m 24. I really don’t want to waste anymore of my prime years being attached to a man that still has doubt about me. I work 50 hrs a week, I make more money than him (and yet I am 6 yrs younger), I recently purchased a brand new car. Meanwhile, he struggles with money. He said he can’t afford a ring yet. However, I don’t see him put ANY effort into saving money. I guess the perfect question is: Why am I with him? This is what my parents ask me. I’ve been in awful relationships (an alcoholic for 2 years, a manic depressive), and as bad as this guy is with his money, he is honestly an amazing guy. He is like an angel compared to some of my ex’s.
I guess the bottom line is this: I’m 24 and I’ve been with this man for 3 years soon, most of my friends would agree that at my age I’m pretty successful (I did it all on my own). I’m very attractive (as conceited as it sounds, but I do have strangers on the street tell me I’m "beautiful" and I model on the side so I guess that’s gotta tell you something), I turn guys down all the time because I respect my relationship. He said he does NOT want to get married soon (meaning, probably more than 3 years from now) and marriage/engagement is completely out of the question for another 2 years or so. Do I trust him? Or should I leave him and stop wasting my time? My dad once told me something that stuck with me…he said I was wasting my time with a 30-yr old guy who has no savings & dead end job since he is probably using me as a "sex object" – I detest. We live together and he’s a sweetheart……but I definitely question that sometimes, especially now. I fell for my boyfriend because he’s adoring, always there for me, extremely attractive, and has a six-pack to die for (kidding, but yes- he does. That’s beside the point though).
But WHY won’t he propose to me? Why is he so against it? If he truly loved me, wouldn’t he want to do what makes me happy? If he doesn’t want to marry me for whatever reason, why does he even want to be with me?
Please help & thanks for taking the time to read & reply!
For those that say, I messed up by moving in with him already – how do I get out of this? Should I move out, break up with him? What should I do at this point? Please help…I’m really confused….I guess I made that mistake, But how do I change this?
