If you are in a bad relationship self help techniques may not work unless you seek the right type of advice. If you walk into any bookstore you will see shelves of books written on relationships. They will cover all topics and be written by men and women; some of whom will have very impressive credentials.
But how do you know they will work? How do you know that these same writers are themselves happily involved with someone? Quite frankly I believe you have to be in a great relationship before you can help other people with theirs. After all you don’t go to a nun for sex help do you? So why ask a single person how a partnership should work?
You need to use self help guides like the M3 System i.e. a created by a real person, who is very happily married and writes to help real people just like you; with similar relationship problems. You want someone who cares whether you and your partner make it or not. Someone who will answer your emails should you wish to ask them a personal question because just sometimes the books don’t always cover everything.
Any relationship can be improved. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect one’ just as no human being is perfect. But you can have a great relationship with your existing partner. They are probably Mr or Ms right for you, just you have hit a couple of hurdles you need some help in getting over.
Self help marriage counseling may be an answer for those of us that don’t want to sit down with a stranger; to discuss the intimate details of our relationship. But unless you know where to start and what to look for, you probably aren’t going to achieve much more than another argument. The problem is that when you are involved in the situation you often can’t see things from the other person’s perspective. It is important that you learn as it takes two to tango as the old saying goes.
You will have to deal with painful issues and discussing these will take patience and practice. For example, sex may be causing an issue between you but it is often very difficult to discuss making love. Both of you may feel embarrassed or ashamed or annoyed that this subject is coming up again.
So before you dive into sorting out your relationship, make sure you have done some reading and thread carefully while you apply what you have learned. Take things slowly and don’t let your discussions turn into an argument. If things get heated, walk away and cool down. You cannot make the other person speak to you, so if they are not into a chat at that time, then leave it, and wait for a couple of days. Usually you will find that your partner is just as eager as you are to sort things out. Pick your moment before applying the relationship self help approach.
a couple of months ago, my fiance and i broke up just because we weren’t seeing eye to eye and decided that we would be better off as friends than anything else. a couple of weeks ago i started dating this guy and i do think he’s a great guy but i am still deeply in love with my ex and now my ex has asked me for a second chance. i want to give it to him but i don’t want to hurt the other guy. can u pls help me?
I’m not saying all men cheat. And I know men and women cheat. But why? And if they do, why don’t they want to leave their wives. Lets say "he" has children. Is it because of the kids? The thrill? And the women he’s with has a family of her own. And the wife caught him cheating but gave him a second chance cause he was begging for it, but why is he cheating again with the same women?
last i saw him or talked to him was last December. We have been broken up for 2 years now but still saw eachother even after i moved out of his place and 3 hours away. I moved back in to town last november. We still occasionally saw eachother, but only every few months… Just last week he text me out of the blue. Telling me he got a DUI back in january and had been sober for 6 months. He thought not talking to me would make me forget him but "how could i?" I love the guy! He wanted me to fill him in on my life, and what ive been up to… I played cool the best I could, but inside I was going crazy!!! Does he want to maybe start seeing eachother again? I know we have to take things slow. The diversion classes and AA meetings made him look at himself and figure out what he wants to be. He told me he wants to be a better person and have a better family relationship. This guy is a bullshitter and total guy…. doesnt express himself at all like he did that night he was texting me. I truely care for him ALOT! and have missed him terribly… I dont want to mess up this possible second chance to get him back. He invited me to a party he may be having in a couple weeks and im STOKED! but also nervious as HELL cuz its been so damn long! I need some feedback and ideas… Hes a Leo and Im a Cancer, if anyones in to the zodiac….. THANKS!
~S~
Thanks for the responses so fast! I just started doing this site. I think its AWESOME! ~~~~ I wanted to add that him an I had never had a serious relationship AT ALL before we met and started dating. We took everything slow. I was 19 and he was 20. Both working an independent… but i was so ready to be serious and i think he got scared. ~~~~ I do not plan on staying the night at this lil party hes having and If i cant drive Im pitchin my own tent… NO SEX. we allready know its good. LOL OMG i juist cant wait to see him. But… IM COOL… im cool…. I have to be….
Oh…. after i asked him why he couldnt talk to me when he was sober, he answered that, he wanted to, but was worried about my emotions. He knows how much i care for him, cuz i never let him forget it. I had drunk dialed him plenty of times throughout the year and text him, yet nothing til now. I thought I may have just been digging the hole bigger by all the messeges…. but they were from my heart. My favorite qoute is: ~~" IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE MY BEST!"~~ That i think goes for both of us in this situation. LOL