My current girlfriend was in relationship with her now ex-boyfriend for like 4 years, in really serious relationship.

4 months ago he dumped her, but she isnt over with him yet….two months ago i started loving her…she tells me now that she doesnt love me the way i love her (she’s my first love n i love her with all my heart), she says she just likes me, thats it……currently she’s in different city, her ex is in the same city, they meet everyday n call each other everyday too, and she loves him a lot, but he ignores her, even though she has confessed her feelings for him after their break up many times…..she even kissed him twice recently after they both got drunk…..

Now, i dont know what i should do, since recently she told me on phone that she actually used me…..her ex told her that he would be frnds with her only if she got a new love, so she used me, in order to talk to him, since she loves him a LOT……she says she’s really sorry, wants to love me back but loves her ex, n says her ex ignores her whenever she talks about her love for him, but he still contacts her everyday….I really really love her a lot, don’t wanna let her go, but she doesnt love me dat way, loves her ex a lot, n he’s a guy who ignores her, but still wants to be in contact with her, n worst part i cant shift from my current university to the city in which she’s studying…..WHAT SHOULD I DO????? m really really depressed…..PLZ HELP!!!

10 POINTS WAITIN’ !!!

Technorati Tags: 4 months, Current, current university, different city, feelings, first love, girlfriend, heart, love, serious relationship

My Girlfriend & I have been together for almost a year now & things were (up until recently) going really great. Just yesterday when we had been spending some quality time together, she tells me that she loves me, but she does not want to get into a serious relationship anymore (I understand where she’s coming from because she’s a free-spirited, fun-loving person that can’t be tied down to commitments & I for one will never keep her like a prisoner or some sort of prize. I also know that she’s been through relationships before that really changed her mindset about taking that route or ever finding that perfect love – a guy who will appreciate her & love her for who she is – ever again).

She then says to me that she would only be wasting my time & end up hurting me, so it’s best that we remain good friends. I don’t know if she’s doing this just to protect me, but I don’t believe that she would be wasting my time (as she put it). I realize that maybe she just needed space to think for a while (especially with the stress she had during the past week), but I love her with all of my heart & soul. I have mentioned to her that if ever she needed anything, I will be there for her (& I have done so already, never expecting anything in return because just being able to be there for her makes me happy – she appreciates that & it only makes her love me even more).

I don’t know why she’s changed her mind about us (because I know I haven’t done anything wrong & I know she isn’t anyone else), but it’s not going to change the way I feel about her & it’s not going to stop me from caring. I love her, but I don’t want to lose her.

Is this all it’s ever going to be? Are we nothing more than friends?
I made that mistake once before (& I nearly lost her), I promise that I will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Yes, I AM prepared to wait for her & I know that she needs a little space to breathe, especially after what she’s been through last week (I have thought about everything & I know what I want. I love & adore her & I will be here for her no matter what).

What can I do or say to reassure her of this?
I know that I shouldn’t be asking for too much & I don’t mind our relationship being open-ended with no pressure, no expectations & not being tied down or feeling like a prisoner. I just don’t want to lose her by messing up, that’s all.

Technorati Tags: amp, commitments, friendship, girlfriend, good friends, heart, little space, love, loving person, mindset, mistake, quality time, relationships, serious relationship, stress, wasting my time

The girl I love is dating another guy. We started off dating, then stopped for a stupid reason — at least it was stupid to me — but we became really great friends (though we were always a little more than friends) and eventually I fell in love with her. I believe without a doubt that, if such a thing exists, she’s my soulmate, and she’s admitted as much to me. I never understood why she didn’t want to pursue a serious relationship with me if she felt that way, but she just felt that we wouldn’t work out. Anyway, when I found out she was dating this other guy I kind of lost it. I felt really hurt, a little jealous, and very confused. She wanted to remain friends with me, but I told her we couldn’t. I moved about 2 weeks after we had that conversation, but I decided to make up with her before I left. I asked her to get a drink with me, told her that maybe it would be easier to be friends since I was moving, and we kind of left it at that.

That was over 2 months ago and we haven’t spoken since. I think she’s waiting for me to make the first contact, since that would basically mean that I’m okay with being friends (hope that makes sense). Well I’m not okay with just being friends. I want more, and there’s no doubt in my mind that we could make things work. Admittedly, being in a different town does make it somewhat easier to be friends (since there’s not really a way for us to date right now), but it doesn’t change my feelings for her.

I’ve been going back and forth over what I’m going to do. I know what I want — us to be together — but that’s not really an option right now. BUT I don’t want her to think that I’m okay with being friends. I don’t think that’s fair to her, especially since we’ve already been through a ‘friendship breakup’ a few months ago.
I’ve been writing a letter that basically tells her exactly how I feel and that I want us to be together. It’s a pretty good letter if I may say so myself. The letter really leaves only two options: either she comes running to me or I never hear from her again. My other option is calling/texting her and being her friend and just hope that things could work out from there.

She’s told me that she wants me in her life for as long as we’re alive, so I know she’d love hearing from me. But I don’t want to hurt her by leaving her again if things don’t work out like I hope they would. I don’t mind having my heart broken again, so either option is okay with me. The thought of never hearing from her again scares me, but I want more than just being her friend.

Hope this made sense. Any advice will be appreciated.

Technorati Tags: being friends, different town, Doubt, doubt in my mind, feelings, first contact, friendship, great friends, no doubt, serious relationship, shoes, soulmate, stupid reason, writing a letter

I have been married for 8 months, been with him for 2 and a half years. Our marriage has turned into a legal friendship. I have had 3 serious relationship talks with him in the past 2 months. Here are the problems. One is that he is on Lexapro, has been for over a year. The side effects are that they lose interest in sex. I excepted that at first, but we haven’t had sex since November. I told him to talk to his doctor about another med and he has seen his doctor twice since I said that and he has done nothing about it. The other thing is that he doesn’t want to do anything together anymore. He does not like my friends for whatever reason, doesn’t even try to get to know them. He does not want to go out with me and my friends even though he is invited every time. Even with out friends, he does not want to do anything. I go out, but I feel like I am married living a celibate singles life. The first talk I had with him, I was nice, trying not to hurt his feelings, I just said we need to do more things together, there are things we can do that don’t cost money, even play a game of cards or something at home. He said he understood and everything was fine, but then he did nothing to change. The second time I talked to him, I was a little more blunt, I told him that I feel that we are friends who kiss once in awhile and he agreed that he thinks we have turned into roommates. I suggested marriage counseling so that our marriage won’t get worse, and he seemed ok with it. Still, he has done nothing to change. The third time I talked to him, I didn’t hold anything back.
I told him how I feel lonely, how I feel like I have one life with him in our house and then another life with me out in the rest of the world. I told him that I feel like we lost it, he doesn’t feel that way. He feels things are fine. I told him that he feels things are ok, me here at the house cleaning and cooking dinner and that he has me to come home to. I feel that something is wrong, that I want to get back the passion we once had. He really had nothing to say to me when I was talking, he felt bad because he started to cry, but that was it. Still, no changes! My mom and my friend say that I might have to be the one to say let’s go do this or that, be the one to hook up with a counselor, basically be the one who carries this marriage. I don’t want to have to do that ALL the time. I want him to show some input, show that he cares. When we were first together, things were great. Then he went on that med and our sex life went to hell, and then after marriage, he just totally changed. I know that he loves me to death, he is never mean to me, but it feels like he is content with what we have now, we don’t even hold each other anymore. What else is there for me to do? Should I mentally have a time frame to give him before I say that’s it?
As of now, I don’t see myself leaving him, but I need to feel wanted, ya know? Any suggestions, thanks so much!
I am not ready to give up on the marriage, as the question is, what else can I do to save it and that I don’t see myself leaving him right now. I am in my late 30’s by the way and I know what marriage is.

Technorati Tags: celibate, feelings, friendship, game of cards, half years, lexapro, marriage, marriage counseling, money, rest of the world, roommates, second time, serious relationship, Sex, third time

I was with this guy for 2 years. It was a very very serious relationship. Things started going wrong in the last couple months, we were both really stressed, everything sucked- then he cheated on me. I found out on Christmas 2007, we broke up New Years. He was too scared to even talk to me about it, wouldn’t answer my calls, it ended through a fuckin text.
I was a total mess, then pushed it back, tried to forget, and almost did.
Now, 4 months later, he’s trying VERY VERY hard to get back with me. He’s doing all these dumb boy things trying to prove to me that he does love me, and he even cried the other day because he supposedly gets things now and whatever.

I don’t trust him AT ALL.

I do love him too, but I think I should just forget about it.
I’m terrified to fall back into the same mess I was in before.
Since him, I put steel bars over my heart to prevent this sort of thing, and I’m pulling back.

What to do, what to do….
I already know what kind of answers I’m gonna get,

I know I should be figuring it out myself instead of asking strangers on Y!A,

But maybe I don’t trust myself to make the right decision.

=(

Technorati Tags: 4 months, christmas, dumb boy, heart, right decision, serious relationship, steel bars

They broke up 6 months ago. She says she was in love, and she can’t let it go. We like each other, but she’s not fully over him, so would feel guilty dating me at the time. I mean, its been 6 months, but it was the first serious relationship she had, and he dumped her because she wouldn’t have sex with him! She really needs to get over him, what can I do?

Technorati Tags: love, serious relationship

We were dating for around 7 months and everything was going great! sex was good, we communicated great, and we just made each other happy! Than one day when i was texting her she tells me that she has a class with her ex boyfriend, her most serious relationship before she met me. than while talking a few days later she breaks up with me.. out of no where!! i didnt even see it coming. apparently this guy told her that he still loves her and how sorry he was for cheating on her. so whether or not they will get back together i dont know, but im guessing they are if she could just leave me like that.. any advice to get her back!!?? its been a week and im going crazy! I mean i know im only in grade 12, but i honestly thought this was the girl i could marry! she keeps telling me that she still loves me and cares for me, but she needs to get her head straight or some BS.. anyways if u could give me some words of advice that would be great!!!

Technorati Tags: 7 months, bs, Cheating, few days, girlfriend, great sex, Met, serious relationship, words of advice

I heard people said its about 3 months, is that true? My first serious relationship was over few days ago and I feel like dying whenever I think about her. I put a lot of time and tried really hard in this relationship, but it just doesn’t seem to work out because of some trust issues.

Technorati Tags: broken heart, few days, People, serious relationship, trust issues

How long does it take you to wipe your mind away from someone you loved (who broke up with you), before y’all can start a new relationship feeling free of past emotions?

Technorati Tags: emotions, relationship, serious relationship

Okay so I’ll try to make this quick.

She and I went out for 1.5 years, and after the first 2 months she told me she loved me.

With previous girlfriends, when they dropped the "L" bomb and I didn’t feel it toward them, I broke up with them within a month or less.

This was different though, I told her I didn’t know if I was ready to say it, but that I still really wanted to be with her.

So she continued to tell me she loved me throughout the next year plus.

Jumping forward… After this most recent spring break (2 or so weeks after) we were headed to the store to pick some stuff up.

I had been really debating for the past few days before that about telling her (FINALLY) that I love her. I thought to myself that I might as well make fully sure before I go through with this (because I had never ever said it to anyone else before).

So, being somewhat sneaky and untrusting, when she went in to the store I checked her old text messages on her phone. The text message at the very bottom had a little Lock on it, meaning it was saved… It said "Te Amo"… and it was from one of her best friends in Mexico. For those of you that don’t know…(she is Mexican, was born in Mexico, but lives up here now, speaks fluent Spanish, and went to spring break in Mexico to visit her dad)…. Anyway, Te Amo is VERY serious and it is essentially like professing your undying love to someone. Like the next step is a SERIOUS relationship.

So, I quickly put the phone down after seeing it, and when we got back to her apartment, I brought it up and asked her what it was. I said that I couldn’t trust her, that she was cheating on me, and all this other crap. She assured me that she wasn’t, and was BAWLING, like eyeballs about to pop out of her head she was so distraught because she thought I was going to break up with her.

She told me that the reason she kept the text message was to A: pretend it was from me, and B: it was nice knowing that someone could actually love her.

I didn’t buy it at the time, but I believe that now I do. So after the whole argument and explanation she gave, I told her that if we were to stay together, she’d have to go through a lot of pain at my hand because I was essentially going to treat her like shit.

She agreed and said whatever it took for me to regain her trust.

Well, about a month down the road, I sent her a text before she got out of class (we’re both in college) and it said something like, "I don’t know if I can ever trust you again." … I sent the text message because I was thinking about the "Te Amo" text and I was just frustrated.

She came over later that day and we sat down and talked, and essentially she wanted to break up with me because of how I had been treating her.

We broke up, and a day or two after we broke up, with ALOT of thinking, I realized that I loved her and I needed to tell her. It took me 2 hours of sitting in her bed and making small talk to finally bring it up and tell her. She said "I love you too" back to me or whatever, and then she said that we should give this relationship a second chance, but it’s going to take work, etc…

Well, now we’re broken up and she has fallen out of love with me, she still loves me, she told me… But I can tell she doesn’t feel the same burning love that she felt before, and she admitted that.

So I want to know… How can I prove myself to her and have her fall in love with me again? I really want to make her happy and I want to be with her, she is my life and I want so much to just prove myself to her.

Oh, and she’s down in Mexico right now for 2 weeks visiting family/friends, so I can’t really do anything immediately (kind of out of contact due to distance, cell phone charges etc) so any advice would be great!!

Thanks so much for reading this… I know I said it’d be short… But I have WAY too many emotions going on right now to keep things short.
Oh and sorry I forgot to add.. this is the order of things…

We broke up, I told her that I loved her… and thats it, we’ve never gotten back together, its still kind of like a "trial" period i guess.

Technorati Tags: apartment, best friends, bomb, dad, ex girlfriend, eyeballs, Fall In Love, few days, fluent spanish, Girlfriends, mexico, other crap, quot, serious relationship, spring break, text message, text messages

Whether you are now in a serious relationship or married for the second time. Under what conditions would you go back to your first wife? I am especially interested in hearing from people whose wives left them for someone else. I am in a serious relationship with a man whose wife left him for another person. I am beginning to suspect that he wishes he were still with her and not me. I was just curious to poll other people in a similar situation to hear their views.
Thanks

Technorati Tags: first wife, Poll, second time, serious relationship

I started dating him when i was in my early 20"s.. I lost my virginity to this guy, it was my choice, i loved him and chose him. Well He ended up cheating, so i left, he started seeing one of the girls (there was a few) he was cheating on me with,, i wished him well and moved on, he kept trying to come back into my life and i refused, he then ended up marrying someone else he was cheating on my with, there marriage lasted 9 months, again he tried to come back , i refused, He thought i was oblivious to the fact that he was using me as his back up… Anyway, October of 2008 he started contacting me again because we had gotten into an argument and i cut off contact…. he wanted to apologize, so i excepted his apology, i had no intention on anything else.. he showed up at my house with flowers.. and charm.. so i started going out with him about 3 time’s a week.. we had Absolutely no sexual contact, for the first time he respected my wishes.. we were just friends…. well one day in january 2009… we ended up having sex after reminiscing about our past together…. after we were finished.. he rolled over and told me he was in a serious relationship with someone he was unhappy with…..at that moment,I felt so completely cheap and worthless you have no idea,

I got up,I put my clothes on and proceeded out the door, he ran after me and grabbed me by the arm and said "this is not the last time im going to see you… your mine, i was your first and I will be your last" (Nut Case) I just looked at him and walked to my car. when i got home I called my phone company to change my phone number…..

This still did not stop him.. he started contacting me through email,, so i changed my email… he started showing up and my work… do i call the cops? How far do I go? I knew he wanted me to have kids with him.. he had wanted this since we first started dating 7 years ago…..well,,, im not stupid.. he wants children with me to trap me…..so what better way to get rid of a man then to tell him I aborted his Child? When we were together the last time we had unprotected sex.. I did not tell him i was on the pill .. i was…. so a little over a month later…. i sent him an email… telling him he got me pregnant…and that i did not keep his child because he was a deadbeat dad to the children he has now, and that he would never be good enough to be the father of my child. ……….Harsh.. i know…. but hey… he put me in a really awkward position, and I am still having problems at 30 years old with relationships do to my trust issues.

I felt horrible after i did this…. but i knew it was the only way this man would stay out of my life…I desperately needed him to hate me…..and well.. it’s been almost a year.. and there is no sign of him =)

Spare me the Criticism… i had to do what i had to do… he treated me like a whore, when all i ever was to him was supportive. So screw him and who ever thinks Im a bitch for this!

I later find out he is Bipolar and on Anti-Depressants. so I needed to get away from him… this was the only way to make him hate me!

Men’s feedback please.
Fallenbose.. yes i do think extremely highly of my self…….and i will say it… he is not lucky enough to father my children…..and i will continue to find a man that is worthy of that…. as far as him playing with my head… i was 28 old… im not foolish.. i know when men are messing with my head… if i was as stupid as most women out there that are needy and immature enough to put up with a man like that… then i would not of went as far as i did to get him out of my life….. you seem know understand him, maybe you are guilty of the same immature, insecure action he is guilty of. So of course you will defend the behavior….. My opionion… People that Cheat.. are inserucre with who they are. and Are to needy and clingy to deal with the reality of there insecurities!
Curious………how is it i allowed him to treat me like a whore? just curious? for date someone for 3 months prior.. is’nt it proper to tell someone who you are "Just friends with " that you are ina relationship? and why was he spending so much time with me instead of this so called girlfirend? So i ask you… how did i allow him to treat me like a whore? Are you one of those christians that does not belive in sex before marriage? if so please spare me about what the bible say’s… open your eye’s please… and relise we are living in a time that is not of the stone ages!
as far as me stooping to his level/…. there’s so much you don’t know about this guy… if i wanted to type a novel i would..
LOL the men’s answer’s are great by the way… it looks like i hit a nerve.

That’s all I needed to know……. I did exactly the right thing….. he hate’s me… is discusted with me… and that is exaclty what i wanted! Mission Accomplished………….

And yes.. im online thinking about it a year later… Im not afraid to admit i loved him.. and it bothered me…. but i had to do what i had to do to get him away from me!

Job Well Done!

Technorati Tags: 9 months, apology, clothes, cops, Dating, email, ex boyfriend, flowers, girls, having sex, intention, just friends, last time, Lost, marriage, nut case, one of the girls, phone number, quot, serious relationship, sexual contact, virginity

She broke up with me about a week ago. I’m thinking about trying to get back with her again on Christmas hoping that she would think it was sweet and possibly say yes. How can I do this without sounding desperate or anything? All help is appreciated!
Well we broke up because she said she didn’t want to deal with a relationship or boyfriend at the time and that I was trying to be too serious. She really doesn’t want a serious relationship at all. She also said that I was "too committed to her"

Technorati Tags: christmas, quot, serious relationship

I dated my ex-girlfriend for a year. I met her parents several times. She was/is the perfect woman in my eyes. The only problem in our relationship was that she had a problem letting me be a part of her life. She would go days at a time without calling me. I didn’t expect her to call me everyday or even every other day. I never said anything when she went days without calling me. The Friday before Thanksgiving my ex-girlfriend sent me a text at 6 pm asking me if I wanted to go to the movies at 10 pm with her sister and brother-in-law if they decided to go. I replied yes, but I never heard from her one way or the other. I didn’t hear from her again until Monday night when she replied to a text message I sent her asking if we could talk. She seemed like she wasn’t in a talking mood. I assumed she was tired from work and I knew she had to get up early so I cut the call short. She didn’t call me back the rest of the Thanksgiving week. It’s Sunday night and I’m feeling ignored or even strung along. I overreacted because I felt hurt and sent her a text message saying I think she is a special person but I feel it would be best if I found someone closer to my own age and that I didn’t think she was at a place in her life where she was ready to be in a serious relationship. I should mention that I’m 32 and she’s 24. The next day I get a reply text stating she wished things could have worked out. I could tell I really hurt her. I immediately realized I made a big mistake by impulsively sending a hurtful break up text instead of calling her and discussing how I really felt about being ignored. I’ve been sending her text messages for a week telling her I love her and I was wrong and begging for a chance to make things right. She want reply to my texts or call me. I really love her and would do anything to get her back. My ex-girlfriend was homeschooled by her parents and still lives with them. She isn’t as independent as most 24 year old women. This could’ve been the reason she had a hard time letting me be a part of her life.

Does anybody have any suggestions on how I can get her back??? Serious responses only. I would really like to hear a woman’s perspective.

Technorati Tags: 24 year old women, big mistake, brother, ex girlfriend, hard time, monday night, parents, perfect woman, relationship, reply text, serious relationship, several times, sister and brother, special person, text message, text messages, texts, thanksgiving

Like something that will make him think. He broke up with me a month ago and told me he wasn’t going to get in another serious relationship until after he got back from his mission(We’re both LDS). But then like 2 weeks later he started flirting with another girl and they are now officially together. It really pisses me off, especially since he was flirting with me way bad last night, Any advice on what to do would help.

We are still really good friends….

Technorati Tags: good friends, lds, new girlfriend, serious relationship

alright i have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for about a year now and i feel like im over her we were eachothers first serious relationship so it was tough but i cant seem to find a new girlfriend i hook up with plenty of girls but i dont feel the same about them i right away think of her and the feeling we had how do i get over that??? or move on?

Technorati Tags: ex girlfriend, girls, Hook, new girlfriend, serious relationship

Can you win back your ex wife after a tumultuous relationship. I have been with my significant other (not formerly married but went thru a private, spiritual ceremony to profess our love for one another) for close to 4 years. Things started pretty good at the beginning stages, the trouble started once I started to loose patience for her emotional ups and downs, (about a year into the relationship) and she got hurt from my quick to react temper, and vindictive communication during arguments. She says my mean words pushed her away. I moved out of the home about a month ago…started seeing a therapist to face my issues.Last week she told me there is no need for us to plan a reconciliation because she no longer loves me, that she wants to move on. Yesterday we met again and I packed all my stuff from the home.
Last night she told me she wants me to be strong. I take it she wants be to be strong so I can move on as well? Or be strong and show her I can be the person she initially saw in me? Any chance of her changing her mind? By the way, this makes no. 2 divorce/separation, plus another failed serious relationship) and no. 2 divorce/separation for me as well…I am concerned about a trend here….We both have emotional issues we need to deal with. I am working on mine, she said she would seek therapy on her own….I am having a really hard time letting go of the woman I love and feel helpless.

She is a witness of domestic violence as a child. So she can be very emotional at times, and very withdrawn at others…

Technorati Tags: divorce separation, domestic violence, emotional issues, emotional ups, Ex Wife, hard time, Loose Patience, love, Met, patience, reconciliation, serious relationship, spiritual ceremony, temper, tumultuous relationship, ups, ups and downs, Win 98, witness

Well Long complicated story short, I had this serious relationship with my boy and it lasted 8 months, but we were very in love. At least I was, I knew he had a past and an ex wife. Well turns out he never got the divorce. I broke up with him cuase he was doing drugs again but we still talked. and now i find out all this shit. they are still talking and plan to be together again soon. Well im pissed as you can tell. He is away visiting family and i wanted to go and say my peace. rip up the ex pictures, delete the emails from the wife. But doing this is there anyway i could get in trouble. And as for the apartment, he gave me a key, saying i could come and go as i please so it wouldnt be breaking and entering,. I just want to rip up the marriage license and fuck him over

Technorati Tags: apartment, Delete, divorce, drugs, Ex Boyfriend Revenge, Ex Revenge, Ex Wife, love, marriage, marriage license, peace, serious relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. For the first 3 and a half we were on and off and everywhere inbetween just because we were young, naive, and unsure of what we wanted. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first to take my virginity, first of literally everything. I have always felt a deep love and a gut feeling towards this man. During the times we weren’t together, just considered "sex buddies", it didn’t matter how great of another person I had found to date I dumped that person immediatley just to have a one night with my ex. I took every opportunity to be with him.

Towards the end of those 3 and a half years, both of us were going down a horrible path. Him with his drinking and drugs, and me dating several men at once and doing adult modeling. We realized at the end of those 3 and a half years where we were headed was a dead end and we needed to get our stuff together and we did. We jumped back into a serious relationship and helped each other turn our lives around. Over the last 2 and a half years we’ve hit a couple small bumps in the road but we’ve easily overcome them and it’s made us nothing but stronger. We love each other very much, we’re each other’s best friends, we both know our world would come crashing down without each other. We’ve been planning our future, saving up money to buy a house together outside the state, planning on marriage someday (when the time is right), and growing old together.

About 3 weeks ago, he did the unthinkable. He cheated on me. I shocked me, it shocked him, anyone who hears the story and knows my boyfriend well would be in complete shock. He payed a prostitute to meet him in the middle of the night for oral sex. Thankfully he used a condom the entire time. And thankfully it wasn’t someone he knew where something like this could turn into a love triangle. He told me a week later what he did, how incredibly sorry he was, how sick he was that he did it, he couldn’t explain his actions, he couldn’t believe he went against his morals, religion, everything he’s about. He couldn’t believe he could do something so horrible to the woman he loves the most.

Some would tell me to leave him. Some would tell me to seperate for awhile. I decided to tell him I’d work it out with him. We’ve come so far and gone through so much. I told him the bare thought of being without him hurt 100x worse than accepting that went behind my back to shove his dick in another woman’s mouth.

He keeps telling me I deserve better but I refuse to believe it. During those 3 and a half years when we weren’t together I found another boyfriend. Before that man asked me out I thought "what if my ex comes back? I guess I can dump this guy and go running back to my ex cuz he’s what I really want". 3 months into that relationship, my ex did come back. Breaking up with this dude was no easy task. He was very controlling, very minipulative and I felt I was being guilt tripped and forced to stay. So I cheated on him with my ex…. 11 times in those last 5 months with that man. I almost feel I deserved this like karma is kicking me square in the butt. It was very wrong for me to cheat and even though the guy treated me like crap, didn’t justify my actions.

Do I trust my lover? Absolutely not. That part is shattered. I spent a whole week asking questions. I wanted to know the whole story. I wanted to know all possible reasons that could have lead to him to cheat. He also has a problem with instant gratification, he wants it now and we’re also working on that. I told him trust takes nothing but reassurance and time. Forgiveness will not happen in a day or a week or even a year. Takes time. He has to learn patience. I hate to pull the leash so tight and lock him in the dog house but it’s not my fault he got there. Even if it’s something I had done or didn’t do, it’s his fault for not communicating that to me before this happened. So, I made him get tested. Condom or not, there are possibilities of disease. His porn is trashed, deleted, and banned for a long while. His jerking off every day, every night has to come to a stop. A possibility of him cheating could have been a sex addition, a porn addiction, boredom (he’s unemployed right now) and I will do everything in my power to make sure we cure those possibilities. I email him throughout the day everyday, I want to know what he’s up to. We don’t live together which is hard for me to monitor his every move but I do see him almost every night for a few hours after my work, and all day through every weekend. I do question him a lot and exect answers. I tell him he MUST tell me everything no matter if he thinks it’ll hurt me. It’s best out than kept in. If he’s not satisfied in the relationship for some reason or another he MUST tell me so we can fix it so he can be satisfied again. Communication is vital in our relationship if he wants this relationship to last. I’ve been asking A LOT of questions and he’s been good with answers. I told him if he is unfaithful one more time, I DO NOT tolerate a man who constantly cheats. I deserve a man better than that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I spoil my man rotton and have. I cook from scratch for him often, sew up his torn and broken jeans, I take him out to amusement parks and other fun activities and shower him with gifts for his bday, our anniversary, xmas, and valentines. He spoils me too, just differently (he pays for all of our weekly fun like all dinners and movies and stuff). I give him massages and backscratches. I help him go fishing, I help him re-load his guns when he goes to practice his shooting (like a shooting range). I do everything in my power to be the most perfect girlfriend for him. I read up on sex, sexual techniques, and pay attention to his likes and dislikes so he can be sexually satisfied always. I listen to him. I understand him.

He’s been good so far and is definately changing for the better. We’ve been talking more, he’s coming up to my work to take me to lunch once a week, he’s being more active instead of sitting on his butt being bored. He’s been telling me how much he truely loves me, how truely sorry he is for screwing up. He’s been doing a lot more to please me. He even put a promise ring on my finger, promising to never leave me, to never cheat on me ever ever ever again, and to be the best man he can for me. I like it and all and I think it’s very sweet of him… i just hate knowing how it got there, what hurdle we had to jump over for the ring to appear on my left ring finger.

I guess what I’m looking for in response is am I doing the right thing? Is working through this, both him and I praying over the situation and bettering ourselves, and me keeping him on a tight leash in the dog house is the right thing? What would you have done if the man you’ve been loving for 6 years stuck his dick in a prostitute’s mouth?

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My first serious relationship ended because we were too young; we had a child out of wedlock and I was in college. My second was with a loving man who had a drinking problem. I married a man that had was on 20 dating sites and 3 were gay sites!? Help. I don’t know if I will ever love or trust another person again!

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