My husband is a diesel mechanic and he works really hard and when he gets home he’s all dirty and nasty. We have a huge bathtub so every night I always have it fill so he can soak and relax. He has no sex drive anymore. Is this a stage a man goes through. I do know for a fact he is not cheating on me. How can I get him sexually active again without the use of medicines?
I just had a conversation with my husband, and he confided that he would like me to lose some weight. And no, he’s not an awful shallow person – we were talking about areas in our lives we could each improve on, and we asked eachother to be honest.
And I’m not suprised at all. When we got together, I weighed about 200lb, and right now I weigh 255. We’ve been married about 8 months, and that weight gain was all within the last year. I’m 5′5. I honestly know I need to lose weight, and I have tried several times. My husband tells me all the time that I am beautiful, and sexy, and that I turn him on. He is very affectionate, and I never feel like he judges me for my body – he loves me for me, I have no doubts.
A few weeks ago, I weighed 260, and I was able to lose 5lb by eating healthier and going on hikes. But somehow my will power just disappeared. I still walk and play with my dog in the park, but the eating has gotten out of control again. Food has always ruled my life, and I have always been heavy. I use food for comfort, boredom, fustration, and hunger.
Please don’t tell me it’s just a matter of will power – I already know this. My problem is.. it’s easier said than done.
I love my husband, and we want to make our life together long, happy, and healthy. Please don’t put him down for being honest with me – I told him theres some things he needs to work on also. I am willing to do anything I can to make him happy, and to make myself happy. Just like a mom would steal food for her starving kids… a fat wife should be willing to lose a few for her handsome, sexy hubby.
He’s 5′11 and weighs about 195. Very muscley and …Rawr! 
Our sex life isn’t hurting any, believe me – this isn’t about looks. He said he wants me to lose weight so I would be happier with myself. I do have issues with how I look, and I pull the "Im so fat!" card more than I should. So he has a point.
Anyhow… what are your success stories? Has any BBW in my situation found a method that worked for her?
Being in a bad relationship is a tough thing to do. Nothing is worse than being married and lonely at the same time. If you think the best way to save your relationship is to ’spice up your sex life’ you may want to think again. Here is some advice on sex to repair your relationship.
First of all don’t buy into the old cliche that if you have great sex your partner will be satisfied and not leave. Unless your partner is an adolescent, or just acts like one, sex alone won’t be enough to keep your relationship strong. A good adult relationship is made up of many components and until you can get it clicking on at least several levels, not just sexual, you will struggle and most likely won’t be happy in the relationship.
A word of caution though, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You will have times when you and your partner are not on the same page, and that’s ok. It’s more about balance, in your relationship as a whole you should be on the same page more often than not. If it’s balanced the other way, where you are at odds more often than you are in sync you should seriously consider ending the relationship because the two of you just aren’t a good fit, and that’s unlikely to change.
So before you decide that hotter sex is the key to making your relationship what you really want it to be, consider some of these points:
1. How was your relationship in the beginning? Did you have a lot of hobbies that you shared together? What did you do, besides sex, when you spent time together? If you don’t do those things together anymore, why not? If you analyze these changes in your relationship you will be a lot closer to figuring out what you need to work on to make your relationship strong again.
2. Have you asked your partner what they think is going on with your relationship? After all you’re both part of the situation, and the problem. Why not share with each other what you are feeling, instead of complaining to your girlfriends, or buddies, why not ask your partner? No one will know what they are thinking better than they do.
Make sure that when you ask your partner what they’re thinking you give them the opportunity to tell you how they feel in a ’safe’ environment. What I mean by that is don’t get mad and yell at them if they say something you don’t want to hear. If you do then you are sending them a signal that they can’t open up to you or it will get ugly, so they won’t turn to you. That is the beginning of the end for many relationships.
Once they’ve told you how they feel, it’s your turn. And the same rules apply. You have the right to express your feelings without being persecuted by your partner.
If you and your partner have reached a rough patch in your relationship it can be tempting to think that if you can reignite a fire in bed you’ll be able to save your relationship, unfortunately that’s simply not the case. Use the advice on sex to repair your relationship tips I’ve given you above to start to rebuild your relationship in a healthy way.
I recently got a phone call from a friend telling me that he found someone i would love to talk to. It turned out to be an ex girl friend from 10 yrs ago and one that i truly loved. We went for coffee and to get to know each other again. The night went well w/o sex (by my choice) and we started talking more on the phone.
After getting to talk more she tells me that she can not respect a man or relationship and that she has had and may still have many lovers. She wants to pickup our sex life but doesnt want a realtionship. What do you do when the woman you still love changes completly??
my husband and i are married for five years. i met him on my 18th birthday. he pursued me for 6 months going to my house every other day just to see me and get to know me (remembering those happy years brings tears to my eyes) he was perfect for me. shy, funny, smart and caring. after that six months we started dating and a year later he proposed. we both cried our eyes when he proposed. and the day on our wedding we also cried. we were so happy. the first two years were wonderful. we rented a house and everyday we spent time with each other we made love 3 to 4 times a day. we were sexually drawn to each other. lol and third and forth year became hard and rocky but we made it through. sex life gone down to 3 to 4 times a week. lol this fifth year just feels like everything is going down the drain. again sex life gone to 3 to 4 times a month. could be the reason why. i don’t know. lol every thing is changing. were both changing. we stop talking to one another and spending time and our love making is completely disappearing. we have toddler, i don’t believe our one year old is the reason for all this changes. everything was already changing before he was born. we both love him very much. i don’t thinks its because he doesn’t find me attractive, because i think im pretty and i haven’t changed much. i want to make things work. but it feel impossible. its hard enough just being in the same room with him. i try to be nice. let him go out with family or friends and not *****. make his food and take care of his son. what else does a man want? plus, he gives me hint when his at home to just leave him alone, give him some space, so i did. i left him alone for week. no nagging or asking him help around the house nor for his baby. but after the week or so was done. i was so upset and angry with him. how long did he expect me to just leave him alone. he his not single and he has responsibilities, im i right or wrong? ah! men, there so hard to live with!!! lol i simply want our spark back. if i need to be the one that need starts changing i would. please help. tell me how your relationship with your husband or wife good or bad. how do you make your spouse/lover/gf or bf fall for you again and again. i don’t want 5 years of my life just thrown away. i know we can have our wonderful relationship back, we just don’t have the right ingredients. marriage counselor is out of the question. i don’t think we can afford it. thanks everyone!!!
Long story short, I ignored the signs that my girlfriend was starving for attention, I really didnt know it until it was too late, now I see what I was doing and I feel terrible.
She really doesnt even know how much I loved her because I never really expressed it, saying "I love you" just isnt enough sometimes… She left me and said she needed space, I know the real reason, but she never explained it. I tried to talk it out but she didnt want to hear it, wouldnt return my call and was actually kind of nasty. She said she would return my stuff on my porch in 3 days and its been nearly 12 days. Since she still has my things, is that a good sign? Just so you know, me and that girl got along amazingly, we rarely fought, and had a great sex life…
Should I call or text her, or should I wait it out and hope she contacts me first? Is there a way I can show her I love her, but not look too desperate to get her back? I have already purchased "the magic of making up" and "the ex2 system", I am just looking for advice on my particular situation.
What do i need to do to get my wife to want me again?
We’ve been together for almost 20 years now and we’re both in our mid to late 30’s. for the last 4 or 5 years shes kind of shyed away from me (even though she says she doesnt think so). we have kids and everything, but it never used to be a problem before. she says she loves me more than ever all the time, but i can never get her to instigate sex between us and im getting tired and bored of being the one who always does instigate it. ive talked about it with her til i cant even say it anymore because its like “beating a dead horse”. im lost as to what to do about this anymore… i love her to death, but i dont want to have a dead sex life at this point in my life already…
thanks everyone… alot of good answers! believe me, the sex isnt the only thing. we are both very much “into” one another, but we’ve tried almost everything that you all have written — about the only thing we havent isnt counseling. maybe that will have to be the next route. we’ve always been very open with each other about everything, so im a little leary about telling someone else our problems — we’ve always felt we could work any problem ourselves — and we pretty much have, but this one seems to be the biggest one we’ve had and neither one of us can figure out an answer… thanks everyone.
I’m a very sexual person and my husband and I have always had a healthy sex life. Lately ive been reading about female ejaculation, I really want to try a few things and see if it would work for me, but I’m afraid that my husband would think its disgusting. How do I bring it up and him not freak? is there a way I could get him prepared for the idea or maybe turned on by it? idk how he would react.
My wife and i have been together 10yrs married 4. She has changed in the last year and a half. She will not communicate what she wants. I have tried everything from romance to spice up the sex life. vacations, etc. nothing is working, we watched fireproof no luck. any advice? she does say she loves me and we can work it out but i am at a loss. Thanks in advance to all of you.
He loved me and he took the breakup badly too. We cared about each other and we loved each other and we even talked about marriage. But, the end was so dead and almost flat, despite working hard to save it.
I was in a long term relationship and we were having trouble communicating sexual. We also lived long distance and our sex life was almost nonexistent.
The end of our relationship felt so flat and so loveless. But, I loved him and he was my everything. The breakup was heartbreaking. I often wonder if our nonexistent sex life was one of the reasons are walking relationship felt like it was missing something.
We didn’t have that spark or that playfulness. Could it have been caused by not having a good sex life?
My fiancée and I have been together for 8 months. I proposed to her within the first four or five months because everything was perfect and magical. We’re young and used to be so cute. Last month she broke up with me. We had been fighting since about a month or so after our engagement- I assume because our relationship was stronger and we expected more. So the jealousy grew along with the fights. We’ve been long distance the entire time we’ve been together. She lives in NY and I live over 300 miles away in Virginia. So, she broke up with me because I was debating on whether to go to my ex’s house or my fiancée’s. I was debating because we had been fighting the entire week and she was debating on whether to stay with me. I ended up goin to my fiancée’s house, but that was the beginning of the end. The fights continued after a week or so later and she began talkin to this guy who basically just wants to hook up with her, since she’s really attractive. I was angered because I stopped
of the stuff he would say to her. She was angry one night and on the phone with him, after we had gotten off the phone. She asked how his sex life is and he said that he has sex with his girl about 4 times a week. Then he asked the same and she told him it was boring. Even offered to make it more interesting and she told him, not yet, in about a month- since my fiancée and I made an agreement that we wouldn’t date or anything within a month of our termination. I’ve been trying to get her to stop talkin to this guy, just like she got me to stop talkin to my ex, who I was contemplating seeing that one time. They’ve both been the main cause of our arguing and now, my fiancée doesn’t want to be with me. We have long term goals together and were planning to move in together in Florida, where I’ll be attending school. Anyway, she’s been telling me that she doesn’t want to be with me and that I do too many things wrong. I don’t want advice saying, get over her. Help me. ace_pilot4u@yahoo.com
He cheated on me with the same woman for a long time. We broke up and nearly divorced. He begged and begged for me to take him back constantly, so I finally gave in.
I just found out he has been contacting her again. He says she wont talk to him, except to yell at him. (He could just be lying some more)
So, I dont want to divorce him, because of some issues right now. What do I do to stop him from cheating. We have always had a really great sex life, (2-3 times daily everyday, in many many differerant ways) I have gained some weight, because I just had a baby, but that is coming off now.
I am trying very hard, but it seems hopeless. Are there any progrmas or books we can look into to save our marriage?
I know it sounds pathetic, but this is my life and he is my husband. I would like to give it one last try before giving up for good.
Thanks
My bf and I have been together for 8 1/2 years. We have been living together for 2 years now. I am 24 and he is 26. I want him to write me love letters and do sweet things that he used to do before and he says he misses sweet things I used to do like remember special dates,etc. He told me that I have to make him want to do those things again. I would just like some ideas to rekindle our love. Our sex life is great but I want sweet, romantic ideas to win a guy over……………to make a guy fall in love. Any ideas????Guys, what are some things that a girl has done that you loved(not just sexual)???? Girls, what have you done that your bf fell in love with or loved??????
EX: When I was younger, we lost contact with one another but I wrote him a letter everyday and kept them to give to him when I saw him of what I did that day. He thought that was the sweetest thing a girl had ever done for him.
I believe that over time both of us have changed and now we miss some of the young things we used to do. Our sex life is fun and great. But we discussed and we miss things like-catching the bus together, he misses me dressing how I did when I was younger(in the summer), letters,etc. I just want simple ideas to help our relationship out or show him that I am thinking of him or that I still care about our relationship as much as now as I did then. I used to draw pictures of our names and hearts-recently I drew one and his reply was- I think that just made me love you more!!!!!! I just want new ideas. I have already started doing like little love you posts in unknown places, and love letters-any more or any new ideas!!!!!!!! ???????
When I first got married, my husband was into porn and it really had a bad effect on our sex life. He didn’t want it as often as me, and he was disconnected.
Now that he has stopped, he is so into me and really loves sex with me, and wants it more consistently. The problem is, I’m not as excited anymore, because of the rejection I think during the 1st three years. This is year four. How can I get my excitement back?
Is it worth saving? If so, do you think we can make it? Here is the situation. My wife and I have been married for nine years and together for a total of 12 years. We have a beautiful 5 year old son together. Our marriage from the beginning has been kind of rocky. We’ve fought over many issues in our marriage many of these have gone on for years and to this day we still continue to fight over them; for example, household chores. My wife is really messy and lazy when it comes to helping around the house. This is something that I noticed even when we started dating but I just thought it was something that she would grow out of as we got older (we met in college). I learned this isn’t the case. Throughout our marriage I’ve done almost 85% of the chores in the house. This includes the so called male jobs as well as the cooking, washing dishes, washing and folding clothes, paying the bills, filling out the X-mas cards, etc, etc. I’ve asked her many times throughout the years for help and she would just ignore my requests. I don’t think she meant to do it but subconsciously she just didn’t do anything and get back to watching TV or reading her books/magazines. We’ve gotten in some big arguments (tons of yelling and name calling from both of us as well as throwing items) about this issue throughout the years to the point where it seems I resent her. In addition to her cleanliness, my wife is constantly late to appointments (affects me and my son), can’t multi-task (hence why I do all the housework), and must be reminded to constantly clean up after herself (picking up her clothes off floor, turning off lights, fans, etc.). Believe me I’m not perfect but after so many years of arguing over some of these issues I guess I started to resent her to the point where my feeling for her started going away. In addition to this resentment, we have the worst sex life. In fact, we haven’t had sex in probably 2 years (I guess resentment on my end and I’m not sure on her side). We’ve tried a few times in this period but we always end up not being able to go forward. I’m actually kind of “weirded” out by the whole experience anyway. In fact, our sex life hasn’t been good in quite awhile. So this has been my life the last few years. We’ve both have thrown the “D” word several times in the years but have always done so in a heated argument so maybe my wife never felt like I meant it. Anyway, I’ve been out of the house for about a month in an “unofficial” separation. I told her back in July that I didn’t love her anymore and that my feelings for her changed so she asked me to leave the house. Here is the kicker—part of the reason why I finally took the step and told my wife how I feel is I met a women who I’ve been communicating on an emotionally level with since May. We are professional acquaintances but we both have expressed interests in one another and could see us dating if circumstances were different. We didn’t do anything physically but have acknowledged that there is physical attraction on both ends. To make a sincere effort on trying to save my marriage I’ve since broke contact with this women. It was hard but I know it is the right thing to do. In regards to my marriage we’ve tried counseling but so far it hasn’t really been much help. The counselor has given me suggestions on how to forgive my wife for not listening and helping me these last few years and ways to communicate better. The big problem is I’m not sure if my feeling can return back for her. When I think of why I want to stay the reasons tend to point back to holding on for my son. Also I find myself wanting to be single again. Believe me I have no desire to be “pimping” out there like some gigolo but I just want to meet someone who I may be more compatible with. I use to think my wife and I were had so much in common. I guess over the years this has changed. It seems like we have become more and more opposite. Please help. I’m open to any comments and suggestions. THX and sorry for the long story.
hi
i was married 7 years to a man who was very moody and hard to deal with.
when it came to sex, we didnt do it or he would make me feel silly for asking. it kinda made me feel like i was being desperate!! i just wanted to be loved. it made me afraid to approach him and the pain of being rejected cut me like a knife. i will never forget that awful feeling.
before i met him, i was confident with myself. now i am not.
i had to leave my ex as it was making me become ill and i was always crying.
now i live with my new man and he is great.
we have a good sex life and he is a lovely person.
but last night, i flipped out because he said he just wanted to sleep as he was so sleepy from work (he works a 15 hour day- 5am to 7pm)
immediatley old pain came flooding back and i pushed him away from me. he was abit suprised, and i had to go out of the room for 10 minutes to figure out why i had flipped. its because i remembered that awful horrible pain that i used to experience.
i immediatley thought ‘he doesnt want me’
i apologised and he gave me a cuddle and said it was ok.
i mentioned why it had made me flip and he was ok with that.
but i need to let go of my past and be free and be my old self again.
i feel so afraid to come on to my boyfriend incase he says no. and then i also feel stupid for not being able to be feisty and sexy and take control. i am consumed with all these intense feelings.
how do i become more free sexually?
how do i learn that it is ok to be sexually confident?
how do i let go of the bad memories of my ex husband?
why does he still haunt me?
i have to sort this out so i can enjoy my life!
can you help?
louise xx
MY husband and I have been married almost four years just short of two weeks. For about the last 8 months I have just felt that the flame has just burnt out. He says he loves me and I really do believe him, and I really love him. He just doesn’t make any effort to prove it. All he ever want’s to talk about is Sport’s, music, and his hobbies. Which is fine but EVERYDAY ALL DAY get’s so old. We both work full time and I don’t mind a bit taking care of him. I try my best to do most everything around the house, the only thing he has to do is take out the garbage. Which never get’s done. He just want’s to sit in front of the T.V or on the computer. Then we have the sex life. He seems to really think he’s making me happy, but it’s blah. I mean I usually try to avoid physical contact with him at this point. He says this hurts him, but he doesn’t understand how much he hurts me by constantly shutting me out.
Please someone help me out. How can I get the spark we once had back. I’ve tried reading books, being completely in tuned with his thought and hobbies nothing is working. He thinks everything is getting better but I’m the only one making an effort.
I should clarify that yes I have tried just sitting down and talking to him. We had a great heart to heart about 6 months ago. Then everything stayed the same. I realize marriage is not a game. It’s a lot of hard work. But is it to much to ask that everyone does a little work. I strongly believe in marriage and I really know he is the one im destined to be with. I just need help digging out of this rut we have hit
I had an affair at the beginning of the year. It lasted for a few months. I was out of state working for 8 months and because I was in Mississippi working after the hurricane, there was limited housing and not a lot of time off. My wife and I only saw each 5 times in 8 months. Thats no excuse, I really don’t know why I did it. It was stupid, selfish, etc etc. It was the first time I ever cheated, and as God as my witness I will never do that to my wife again. I cant bear to see her hurt the way she has. I could never express all the remorse I feel, but I will spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up. She is a wonderful woman and has found it in her heart to try and forgive me. We are active in church ( I have asked God for his forgiveness, and feel that I have repented my sin), and counseling. I hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me, I HOPE I can forgive myself one day. My question is…as hard as she is trying, she has god days and bad days which I (continued)
completely understand!! I have been and gotten checked for STDs to ease her mind. We have resumed our sex life and when she has some wine or beer at night (which she has just recently stared doing) te sex is fine. But if she doesn’t have a drink she cannot go on with the act. I’m not complaining, I will give her all the time she needs, I messed up. She did not. But I want to know what I can do to help her. I am so in love with her, and if anything came out of my mistake, it is that I realize now what a wonderful person she is and how I cannot live with out her. Our 11 yrs of marriage hae been wonderful. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can o to let er know that I love her and want her and only her.
After being married for 4 years together for 7 the excitement and bliss of course has diminished some. We both love each other and our sex life is still pretty good, but it is just like the day to day tokens of love are missing. What motivates you to express your love to your wife throughout the day? I have been better myself at doing this for him, but I want to know if there is anything that your wife does that motivates you to show your love in a non-sexual way?
How do I get the love back…..the trust back…..the sex back ?
Why sex ? Sex is important….it is an important part of my life…..I am not prepared to give up my sex life….because of age or because my partner might not want to have sex with me ……..
That is why I cheated……but it was 2 years of no sex, before I did !
She told me I had Sexual problems….and I did with her…..failure……but thankfully , with nobody else !
I love my wife…..but if we don’t love as we did before……I can’t promise I wont cheat again !
Both persons involved in the affair are married. Both persons are unsatisfied with the sex life within the marriage. Neither person wants a relationship to come of the affair. They just desparatly need sexual tension released.
How can I spice things up? My sex life is in ruins. I am very desperate, in this situation. My wife’s sex drive is pretty much dead, but mines still remains very strong. Because of this problem, it drives me crazy up the wall at times.
My wife is very healthy 100 %.
