Have you felt lately that your marriage is on the rock? If so don’t despair or let the panic take over, your marriage is not over yet, because with a little bit of work and also a bit of good luck you will be able save your relationship.
Every partnership between a man and a woman will go through a period where it seems they have fallen in hate with each other rather than love. Perhaps you are fighting every day and can’t remember the last time you both spent some quality loving time together. Perhaps your sex life has died and is now just a distant memory. Or maybe you have found out your partner has been cheating on you or lying to you about something important?
People often believe that cheating is the end of any relationship but it doesn’t have to be. A one off affair is not the same as somebody who cheats on a regular basis regardless of the consequences. That shows a distinct lack of respect for their partner and that is not an easy problem to resolve.
Whatever the reason for your current difficulties, splitting up and heading for the divorce courts is not the easy answer. You owe it to yourself and each other to make an effort to save this relationship and fight for your right to be happy together. You fell in love once and the good news is that you can rekindle these feelings and perhaps even make your marriage stronger. Will it be easy? No! Will it be painful? Yes! Will it take time? Yes! But will it be worth it? Almost definitely. I say almost as only you know whether you are willing to put in the time, effort and commitment to saving your marriage.
You are going to need some outside help. For some this will take the form of relationship counseling while others would prefer to read a book in the privacy of their own home. Some people will want to do both. I would strongly recommend that you both read the Magic of Making Up. It will help you to put things into perspective. It will also show you that most couples are capable of resolving their issues and making their commitment to each other stronger and happier.
It really comes down to the question of whether you are prepared to fight for the potential your marriage once had or if you want to walk away. If you think you prefer the second option, remember that the grass can appear greener on the other side. In other words, it may seem that you will be happier with your partner out of the picture but the reality could be very different. Life is hard no matter what age or background you come from. Sharing the ups and downs that come along every day with someone you love and respect makes living a lot more fun and a lot more worthwhile.
So what are you willing to do to take your marriage on the rock and turn it into a happy love affair?
My fiance broke up with me after 3 years together 2 weeks ago out of the blue, and honestly it is KILLING ME. She told me that she felt the relationship hit a plateau. But she also said that " I treated her the way a girl wants to be treated and she loves me more than anything and saw a future and lots of children for us. I have literally lost 15 lbs over this and havent slept in 2 weeks, I cry everyday over this, and I never cry. She told me that she "loves me as a person, and she wants me to be her best male friend." We have had an amazing and intimate relationship. She keeps telling me that there is no other guy, but she needs to find herself and her individuality. I can’t just be her friend, we had such an intimate relationship and an amazing sex life. Could she ever possibly come back??, I am so depressed over this.
I just broke my engagement with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I love him deeply, but he is severely depressed, chronically unemployed and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix all of his problems. We are constantly fighting and our sex life is non-existant because he’s so depressed. It feels like the end of the world though because I feel like I am abandoning him and all of my dreams of my life with him are gone now. This sounds stupid, but please send me some reassurence that I made the right decision. Maybe some of you have been in my position.
Supposed all of this were true about my married friend…
He says he loves his wife but they have a crooked relationship. He says he’s staying mainly for the kids. He has a son who lives with him but his mother lives in another state so he can’t leave him. He is asking me to hold on and be with him until his son graduates from high school in a few years.
I do not want to be the cause of a family falling apart nor do I want to hurt his wife, but I am in love with this man. He is staying mainly for his son. He admitted to loving her (of course, they share a child and have been together for years), but says that isn’t enough. I make him feel the way she can’t (he says). Its not about the sex, and I know I’m the only one because we spend all of our free time either on the phone or together (he calls me from work and we talk for hours). He said their sex life is at a halt. We’ve had sex a few times, but I expressed to him that I couldn’t do this and he said, let’s take the sex out of it. He asked me to come stay with him while she’s out of town, and travel to CA with him next month.
He says he married for the wrong reasons…more so out of pressure from her family. I really feel he’s sincere.
Should I walk away? I feel he is my soulmate. Is it always wrong, considering its mainly for the kids and he will leave anyway once his son graduates from school? Is it ever okay to do this, you think? I’m not lookin for a "co-signer" or someone to justify my wrong, but I’m just curious if anyone thinks its wrong to date a man who is married, but really not there for her, but more so for the kids.
And before some of you start with the name calling (homewrecker, whore), remember, you aren’t perfect either. I always vowed to never date a married man, and kept my distance from him, but he pursued me, and I fell in love with him. It wasn’t planned. I have never done this before and I’ll never do it again. He just swept me off my feet, but I know not to allow another married man get this close, because I don’t want to do this again, if this doesn’t work out.
Have you felt lately that your marriage is on the rock? If so don’t despair or let the panic take over, your marriage is not over yet, because with a little bit of work and also a bit of good luck you will be able save your relationship.
