I transferred to another state for a job, in order to stay with the same company.After about a month into the position I was harassed by 2 men. I was in a room with just them and no other supervisors. One guy was constantly insulting me whenever I asked a question about the task I was learning. The other guy kept hitting on me, asking me out and making sexual advances including touching my hand, trying to hold it, and pulling me closer to him when I was sitting my my office chair. I was really creeped out and I’d go home feeling horrible at the end of the day. I went to a manager (female) and told her this and she didn’t believe me and made excuses for both men. I had a breakdown after a week when I found out the one guy was married and both men knew it, but played ‘good cop/bad cop’ to get him laid. Management has now focused on making my life horrible since I had the breakdown and told them I didn’t feel comfortable working with either of them. I really regret moving here.
I’m looking to move back to where I came from now. My boss above my immediate supervisor is a man and he’s been watching every move I make and going to HR about it. I probably should have sued, but I’m in the defense industry and it would hurt my career. I’m frightened and see double-standards everywhere in the small town where I live. I don’t know how to get my confidence back.
Actually, I did contact the HR department. They are acting as an enabler letting my current manager overly supervise me and constantly reprimand me. I went to another female employee and asked her if the way I was treated was normal for the office and what I should do. My current manager found out about it and told me not to socialize with anyone. I’m scared. I could file a lawsuit, but I’m afraid it would destroy my career in the defense contracting realm. It’s hard not to hate men these days when things like this happen and it’s all caused by men.
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ok this is not the usual cheating case. i have hurt her in another way. I will put it short. i am a person who is stubborn and like things to go my way in a relationship. The girl is someone who loves me a lot and try to suit what i want and keep her unhappiness regarding us to herself . She’s a quiet person as well. From the start of our relationship, when we are together, we really enjoyed ourself. The problem come when we are not together. I was the one who ask her out and start a chat with her most of the time. This makes me feel that she is not interested and she said she will try to change. But whenever i bring up to her that she’s not changing, we end up both unhappy. I feel that she could do more for the relationship. My problem then were that, i feel i am right and hence expect her to change for me. i expect her to do a lot. amd she really did. she make a lot of time for us to go out, go out late with me despite her parents don like, always talk to me when i wanted to, tried to change herself to suit me, give in to my sexual advances(not sex) even though she’s shy, never scolded me even when she’s unhappy etc. But some of the things i don get, i will insist on it. Like she did not really change herself to ask me out or chat with me more often to what i expect, ends up unhappy whenver we talk about it and this gives her stress i guess. Whenever she can’t go out when i want to, i will be unhappy and this gives her stress. She told me that she felt that ” i think if she like me she should go out with me, she could do better to suit me”. After all those things she did and stress she took, i still feel that she does not love me wholeheartedly and did not put in much effort in our relationship simply because(i think) i am someone who is very insitent on doing things my way. When she cannot meet my expectations, i feel she did not put in much effort and doesn’t love me that much. Before we broke off, i even scolded her’: if you love me, don just say it, show it! This hurt her so much that she cannot take it and wanted to break off. Now, i am totally regretting it. I want her back. We are still talking and going on 1 on 1 outing once in 2 weeks. But, i really want to win her back. She told me that she still like me. but those times where i hurt her keep on coming back to haunt her even after 10 months. I realise my mistake. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn and only focus on things i want, this gives a lot of stress. She did a lot for me, but maybe because i took them for granted, that’s why i felt that she didn’t do much and hence felt that she don love me that much. If only i am not so insistent on doing things my way, take note and appreciate more of the things she did for me, i wouldn’t have felt that she don love me and we could have been very happy. Please let me know if i am wrong. This are the problems with me that i concluded after tons of relection. I feel that our situation rersembles that of a men cheating on his wife and hurting her, then regrets it and want her back. It looks like a very difficult task. Can some people please tell me what can i do? what can i do to make her trust me again? she say she still likes me, but can’t forget the times where i hurt her.
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