1. I had the magical ability to go anywhere in the world by flushing myself down a toilet & traveling through the plumbing system at light speed. I just had to concentrate on the address & repeat it along with the word "travel" over & over whilst standing in front of any toilet, & soon enough I was able to just dive in like you would off of a diving board & go right down the drain. (cont…)

2. I’m in the shower, & there’s a 15ft stripper pole going from floor to ceiling right in the middle of it. The soap is on a shelf 12ft up so I have to climb to reach it. It’s wet, slippery & very difficult, so I keep shimmying up and sliding down. Making no progress, but I start to get sexually aroused b/c I’ve got my legs wrapped around it, and you know…I won’t be graphic but it gets a bit erotic/noisy & then suddenly there’s someone looking through the glass shower door at me going "wtf are you doing?" and I’m mortified. Felt like a kid caught at something naughty by a parent. (cont…)
(both continued…)

1. Early on things went smooth & I was alone, but the second part of the dream was different. I found myself in a public bathroom w/ 2 other women who had the same power as me, & we were in a frantic rush to get into the toilets & go somewhere, as if we were being chased by something & needed to escape. I had problems trying to stuff my backpack down the drain ahead of me (which I hadn’t done before), & I couldn’t concentrate enough so the "spell" wasn’t working & I felt afraid. I do remember repeating the address though, and it was full of sixes. The #6 was very distinct in my mind.

2. The person was unknown to me but I got the feeling she had been woken by my ruckus & was annoyed. It’s not important who it was – roommate, houseguest, etc. Point is the shock it gave me & the shame/embarrassment it made me feel afterwards were quite palpable.

That’s all I remember, but I feel like the two dreams are connected b/c of the common bathroom setting maybe. Any ideas?

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Now this should sound like a soap opera:
I picked up a telephone call at home and a lady said "did you know that your wife has been cheating on you for years?" She gave me the name + phone of the guy and said the rest is up to you to find out. I was in shock, so I broke the rules of confidentiality at home and installed a Keylogger in our Computer. My wifes mails confirmed that she had an affair that lasted for 2 years (she 36, he 25), but was over for a year or so since she found out that she was just one of several girls he dated.
The funny thing is, she seems to be obsessed with this guy, looking every day at his pictures in hi5, trying to interfere with his love affaires and even buying a book "how to get back with your ex".
Well, I confronted her, told her all I knew and that I had also spoken to the guy and guess what she answered:" Cheating would have been if I had been with both of you at the same time." True, she broke intimacy with me 3 years ago … but I feel very bad now

Technorati Tags: 3 years, buying a book, confidentiality, funny thing, girls, hi5, how to get back with your ex, intimacy, Keylogger, love, shock, soap opera, telephone call, Wife Cheating, Wifes

I’m a 26 year old woman and recently found out my husband is in love with another woman after months of suspicion, had it confirmed a week ago when I heard him talking to her on phone. He left me after telling me he no longer loved me, hasn’t done for months and wasn’t interested in saving our marriage. He has been ignoring me since he left, wont answer my calls etc.I dont know where he is or what he’s thinking.
He has loved and adored me and vice versa for 5 years and I never ever doubted his love for me. This is the most earth shattering thing that has ever happened and I cannot survive it. I cannot exist without him loving me.
Totally devastated and suffering fits of crying, panic attacks and torturing myself by reminiscing, looking at wedding photos etc. I just need him so much and he’s gone. Its like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.
I haven’t slept properly since it happened, keep falling asleep for about 30 minutes at a time, then waking up and crying, falling asleep again etc.
The mornings are the absolute worst worst. I seem to feel calmer in the evenings, then once I wake up it starts all over.

I have decided to end my life as I cannot carry on existing like this anymore, and I know for certain the future will never get better. I am an emotional person and I will carry this with me forever, time will NOT heal me despite what people say, so i don’t want to live a painful life. I would rather just fall asleep and never wake up then deal with this agony every day.
What I want to know is this; is overdosing the best way? It may seem like a strange question but I don’t want to do it and then wake up brain damaged in hospital etc…I will make sure I take PLENTY of pills, enough to kill me but is it guaranteed?

I will write letters to my loved ones, and will ensure that they don’t find me dead in my bed. I will put a piece of paper on my front door saying don’t go upstairs, call 999 instead so they don’t have the shock of finding me.
It may be incredibly selfish of me but I honestly cannot go on. I just can’t.

Please don’t anyone try to talk me out of this I have made up my mind. I want the pain to end and this is the only way.

Technorati Tags: 30 minutes, agony, brain, earth, emotional person, evenings, love, marriage, nightmare, old woman, Painless Way, panic attacks, piece of paper, pills, shock, strange question, Suffering, suspicion, wedding photos, wont answer

For the five past nights I have dreamed of my Ex. I have a new boyfriend that I have been going out with for 4 months now. I’ve been very happy with my new boyfriend. But I just found out a week ago that my ex has a new girlfriend, which was a shock to me, and so started the dreams… How do I end them?

Technorati Tags: 4 months, dreams, ex boyfriend, girlfriend, new boyfriend, new girlfriend, shock

So i am currently with my boyfriend ov 5 months. I love him a lot. Unfortunately i have fallen for him so quickly. Recently an ex boyfriend, my first love, my whole world ov almost 2 years has come back into my life. He just went away too college for 2 years. He says that he wants me to come visit him so that we can get back together n when he gets back we will be mature enough to get married. Then h wrote me on myspace today said he missed me n wants to see me n said "I LOVE YOU". iT was a really big shock to me cuz i haven’t heard it from him in so long. I keep thinking like what if he is playing with my head n break up with my current boyfriend, knowing that it it will crush him, then i will have lost both ov them. I don’t know what i should do. Any advice would help. Thanks.

Technorati Tags: 5 months, current boyfriend, first love, Lot, love, shock, world ov

We have beeen married 5 years. Normal ups and downs. Second for both. He is 56 I am 48.

I am unemployed but have been looking for work for a couple of years now. no jobs in the only thing have ever done-dental office for 20+ years. We were making it on his pay-but no more luxuries like when I was working.
His ex-wife who is out of state called him out of the blue a few months ago. After 19 years apart. They have one daughter 30, and she knows he remarried. She is going through a bad divorce and now realizes after all these years my husband was the only one for her!
He left her because she cheated on him repeatedly.

I found a text on his phone-a gut feeling told me to check. She left him one saying she was so happy he would be giving her another chance and she would never hurt him again!

Long story short, he is leaving me for her. I was a good loving, faithful wife. I made a nice home for him and denied him nothing. She makes good money and part of me thinks he is sick of supporting me and going without, With her they would live high on the hog.

I am in shock. I am hurting so badly because I cannot even imagine why someone would choose a cheater over the real thing. She told him she changed. They have been emailing for a while, and I asked him why as it was disrespectful to me. He said she was only calling him because she has no family and no one else and it would stop. It didn’t and escalated into this. After 20 years apart?

The house was mine when we married-in my name only. There is zero equity in it so if I sold it I might not even break even. I have no money of my own. Even though i could temporarily stay with my parents for a while, I will be homeless without anything but the clotthes on my back. I can’t afford to store my furniture with no money.

I spoke to a lawyer and he said the most I could get for alimony is maybe 0 week for a couple of years. I am losing not only my marriage but everything I worked so hard for all of my life. i have no choice-my family has no money either. My 18 year old son from first marriage lives with me. he is crushed as he really loved his step-dad. Now at 48 I will be moving in with my parents and filing bancruptcy. No money to pay credit cards, car ins., etc.

What was he thinking? The money? That she really changed? My lawyer said she didn’t really want HIM, but the security and familiarity of him after her second husband left her.

How can I cope? My world has disappeared in a matter of days. I know I could never take him back after this (IF he ever wanted that) I am just so confused-what was he thinking????

We are living our lives, she calls out of the blue after no contact for years, and now my marriage is over. Please advise I am losing everything I ever had and I am crushed in every way.

Technorati Tags: 19 years, alimony, cheater, dental office, divorce, Ex Wife, faithful wife, furniture, gut feeling, high on the hog, jobs, lawyer, luxuries, marriage, money, out of the blue, parents, shock, ups, ups and downs

we have been off and on since 2004. I call him my knight in shining armor because he removed me from a bad relationship. We were inseperable for the 4 months of our "relationship"…during those months he lost his job. Me…I was a single mom, working full time and also attending college full time..all while starting a new relationship. Him being a man, felt that he should be doing more…considering all that i had on my plate. We spent Thanksgiving together…2 days later he told me he joined the army and was leaving in a week…talk about blown away…after my intial shock..we decided to do the long distance thing….the day he left right before he was to board his flight to Fort something in NC, he told me he loved me for the first time….I cried…..days went past..then i finally heard from him…..a few months later he told me he was being deployed to iraq…shell shocked again..i decided to stick by him….that is when we lost contact…2005 rolls around..and I am lost..don’t know if this guy is dead or alive….around Nov. 2005..I started seeing missed calls on my caller ID from the us army…and every time I always missed the call..either by a minute or something strange…for months….April 2nd 2006…i arrived home…and i see a missed call from someone with the same last name as him..my heart starts racing and i get nervous…I call the number back and ask for him. the stranger that answered the phone introduced himself as his uncle..he asked my name and told me to hold on…I immediately hung up..taken over by nerves…was this really my lover boy trying to contact me all this time and i missed the calls..all of them?…my cell phone rings..a 910 number…its him…we talk….rekindle the flame…..by august 2006 we loose contact again….from Sept 06 to Nov 06 he would send me messages here and there via AIM….at this point i am frustrated with this off and on mess but still loving him…in Feb. 2007 he called me and we were on the phone for hours..I was telling him about my new place, new car, new job..he told me he was proud of me and that he wanted me to help him get a job in NYC….he were vibing….and then the phone went dead…no call back..no more contact….a few days later i deleted the number that he called me from out of frustration and anger because he had not called me back…..and that was the last time i spoke to him….and i still really truely..deeply..love him.

Technorati Tags: 4 months, aim, army, attending college, being a man, blown away, caller id, cell phone, contact, flame, full time, job, knight in shining armor, long distance, loose contact, Lost Love, lover boy, nerves, relationship, shell, Shining Armor, shock, single mom, stranger, thanksgiving, true love, us army

Gosh where do I start..uh..

Me and my girlfriend spent 3 years together. I had a typical teen social life (I’m 22 now) but she didn’t. She was sheltered, shy, never had a boyfriend, etc. Anyway, we got as close as humanly possible. I mean she would even tear up when we talked about our love for each other, and vice versa. We had alot of times over 3 years. That’s a long time.

Anyway, so she’s out in california with her sick mom and started college 2 months ago. I was here in Louisiana looking for us a house and planning for her to move back down here. We had plans for kids and marriage and a great life together. She was the perfect innocent and pure girl. Anyway… I didn’t hear from her for 3 days (we talked like 10 hours per day) so i got worried and contacted her sister. Then she tells me how she met someone. To make a long story short, all my plans were shattered and she left me for this new guy. While I was looking for us a house, she was making out with this boy she just met. I find out they have done so many sexual things (oral and have tried to have sex but she said it hurt her too bad as she’s a virgin). This is a huge shock to me because she was mine for so long. MINE.

I cried for a week and could not eat a thing for a week. I not only lost my best friend, but finding out how much she has done with this pervert asshole was a complete shock to me. It’s been about a month now and I still can’t get over it. I get bitter, I get sad, I cry, I lost all faith in real love and relationships. I am still shocked and don’t know how to get over this. I tried going out and drinking and being social but I just spend too much money and I am alone in the end. I have no interest in other women. I’m lost.
I appreciate the responses! I do wanna say.. I was not overly posessive. There was about a 1 year span there where she was the most clingy person I ever met. She went crazy over me, but I was working alot and took her for granted. Then I "woke up" and began making up for it. Then this happens RIGHT when we are about to get a house and start our life. I miss her, I miss us but I could never take her back after this – I still talk to her almost every night but I know it is setting me back, but it keeps me together at the same time as I "need" her. She has tried to take me back a couple times but I told her it isn’t possible even though I want her more than anything else in the world.

It’s terrible to want something so bad but know you can’t have it because this thing inflicted so much pain on you. I remember driving down the road crying and passing my grandfather, and we backed our vehicles in the road and he had to talk to me just so I could stop crying and finish driving home.
Sadly, I knew deep down that since she lived such a sheltered life that I could probably lose her to someone else once she got out there. She is very naive and bad with decisions and I feel protective over her. No one knows her better than I! But despite my gut feelings, "loving eyes can never see" and if you’re played for a fool, you’re the last one to know – as Percy Sledge put it

I’m alone now and she isn’t – But I have another gut feeling that she is going to fall hard and perhaps get a taste of what I went through. I don’t wish this on her or even my worst enemy. She kind of ruined me because now I feel that ANYONE is capable of cheating and shocking you, no matter how well you know them. Now I’m scared to fall for anyone else. I wish I could be an asshole guy who does not get attached, but I am the way I am.

Technorati Tags: 3 years, best friend, ex girlfriend, faith, girlfriend, long time, louisiana, love, marriage, Met, much money, pervert, relationships, shock, sick mom, span, virgin

Im 16 years old and ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years. His name is charlie and he is 17. When we first starting going out it was amazing and we fell in love so quickly. We was like inseperable and it got to a stage where i had him wrapped round my little finger and he’d do anything for me and he was the most nicest person ever. He was always very over protective and didnt like me going out but i still did anyway. He also got me pregnant the first 5 months of us being together but i had an abortion so it made us a lot closer.

Then it all soon changed after the first year and a half. He cheated on me, and cause it was all a shock to me i was devastated and i took him back. Our relationship kind of ended then but we just wanted to make things work. He then got me pregnant again on the second year and at the time he was seeing some other girl and i was just in bits. Each month he would just make me feel more insecure about myself.

By this stage he was calling me fat and ugly. He then asked me back again and i took him back. He made me feel worthless. In february this year we split up and it was a joint decision because we was just arguing all the time. I really don’t understand him. Its like one minute he loves me the next he hates me. he just takes advantage of me all the time.

In the past 2 months ive been constantly ringing him and hes been saying were going to get back together but then always changes his mind. I would walk up to his house because i physically cant sit at my house i will just be pulling my hair out knowing im not with him. When he looks at me now its like inside he’s dying and he loves me but horrible words just come out of his mouth. Its like hes trying to make himself hate me.

I went round his house last week and he was saying to me he missed me so much and he loved me so much. Its like when im crying being all soppy and desperate he’ll walk away perfectly fine. But when im strong and being horible back to him he’ll want me back. So at his house we ended up having sex and it was really emotional. then straight after he was like meg go home. And i was just devasated. i dont understand him. I dont know what he wants. He just looked at me and you could tell he didnt wanna be horrible but he just said to me im so sorry my heads so fucked up.

Its been about 6 days since then, and hes got a new phone and a new number so i havent been able to contact him. Ive spoken to him on facebook but he just swore at me and then deleted me.

I know he lloves me just atm he thinks he hates me because i wind him up all the time. It just hurts so much to see what he used to be, the boy who would do anything for me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, to this monster who calls me fat and ugly and doesnt care if im crying. i dont know what to do to make him realise that hes made a big mistake. Because i know what charlies like, i reckon if i do just fuck off like im doing now, and i havent spoken to him in about 2 weeks he’ll panick and want me back and ring me or something.

I just dont know what to do. please help me

Technorati Tags: 5 months, abortion, Advantage, amp, big mistake, ex boyfriend, horrible words, inseperable, joint decision, little finger, Lot, love, relationship, shock, Sit

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. For the first 3 and a half we were on and off and everywhere inbetween just because we were young, naive, and unsure of what we wanted. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first to take my virginity, first of literally everything. I have always felt a deep love and a gut feeling towards this man. During the times we weren’t together, just considered "sex buddies", it didn’t matter how great of another person I had found to date I dumped that person immediatley just to have a one night with my ex. I took every opportunity to be with him.

Towards the end of those 3 and a half years, both of us were going down a horrible path. Him with his drinking and drugs, and me dating several men at once and doing adult modeling. We realized at the end of those 3 and a half years where we were headed was a dead end and we needed to get our stuff together and we did. We jumped back into a serious relationship and helped each other turn our lives around. Over the last 2 and a half years we’ve hit a couple small bumps in the road but we’ve easily overcome them and it’s made us nothing but stronger. We love each other very much, we’re each other’s best friends, we both know our world would come crashing down without each other. We’ve been planning our future, saving up money to buy a house together outside the state, planning on marriage someday (when the time is right), and growing old together.

About 3 weeks ago, he did the unthinkable. He cheated on me. I shocked me, it shocked him, anyone who hears the story and knows my boyfriend well would be in complete shock. He payed a prostitute to meet him in the middle of the night for oral sex. Thankfully he used a condom the entire time. And thankfully it wasn’t someone he knew where something like this could turn into a love triangle. He told me a week later what he did, how incredibly sorry he was, how sick he was that he did it, he couldn’t explain his actions, he couldn’t believe he went against his morals, religion, everything he’s about. He couldn’t believe he could do something so horrible to the woman he loves the most.

Some would tell me to leave him. Some would tell me to seperate for awhile. I decided to tell him I’d work it out with him. We’ve come so far and gone through so much. I told him the bare thought of being without him hurt 100x worse than accepting that went behind my back to shove his dick in another woman’s mouth.

He keeps telling me I deserve better but I refuse to believe it. During those 3 and a half years when we weren’t together I found another boyfriend. Before that man asked me out I thought "what if my ex comes back? I guess I can dump this guy and go running back to my ex cuz he’s what I really want". 3 months into that relationship, my ex did come back. Breaking up with this dude was no easy task. He was very controlling, very minipulative and I felt I was being guilt tripped and forced to stay. So I cheated on him with my ex…. 11 times in those last 5 months with that man. I almost feel I deserved this like karma is kicking me square in the butt. It was very wrong for me to cheat and even though the guy treated me like crap, didn’t justify my actions.

Do I trust my lover? Absolutely not. That part is shattered. I spent a whole week asking questions. I wanted to know the whole story. I wanted to know all possible reasons that could have lead to him to cheat. He also has a problem with instant gratification, he wants it now and we’re also working on that. I told him trust takes nothing but reassurance and time. Forgiveness will not happen in a day or a week or even a year. Takes time. He has to learn patience. I hate to pull the leash so tight and lock him in the dog house but it’s not my fault he got there. Even if it’s something I had done or didn’t do, it’s his fault for not communicating that to me before this happened. So, I made him get tested. Condom or not, there are possibilities of disease. His porn is trashed, deleted, and banned for a long while. His jerking off every day, every night has to come to a stop. A possibility of him cheating could have been a sex addition, a porn addiction, boredom (he’s unemployed right now) and I will do everything in my power to make sure we cure those possibilities. I email him throughout the day everyday, I want to know what he’s up to. We don’t live together which is hard for me to monitor his every move but I do see him almost every night for a few hours after my work, and all day through every weekend. I do question him a lot and exect answers. I tell him he MUST tell me everything no matter if he thinks it’ll hurt me. It’s best out than kept in. If he’s not satisfied in the relationship for some reason or another he MUST tell me so we can fix it so he can be satisfied again. Communication is vital in our relationship if he wants this relationship to last. I’ve been asking A LOT of questions and he’s been good with answers. I told him if he is unfaithful one more time, I DO NOT tolerate a man who constantly cheats. I deserve a man better than that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I spoil my man rotton and have. I cook from scratch for him often, sew up his torn and broken jeans, I take him out to amusement parks and other fun activities and shower him with gifts for his bday, our anniversary, xmas, and valentines. He spoils me too, just differently (he pays for all of our weekly fun like all dinners and movies and stuff). I give him massages and backscratches. I help him go fishing, I help him re-load his guns when he goes to practice his shooting (like a shooting range). I do everything in my power to be the most perfect girlfriend for him. I read up on sex, sexual techniques, and pay attention to his likes and dislikes so he can be sexually satisfied always. I listen to him. I understand him.

He’s been good so far and is definately changing for the better. We’ve been talking more, he’s coming up to my work to take me to lunch once a week, he’s being more active instead of sitting on his butt being bored. He’s been telling me how much he truely loves me, how truely sorry he is for screwing up. He’s been doing a lot more to please me. He even put a promise ring on my finger, promising to never leave me, to never cheat on me ever ever ever again, and to be the best man he can for me. I like it and all and I think it’s very sweet of him… i just hate knowing how it got there, what hurdle we had to jump over for the ring to appear on my left ring finger.

I guess what I’m looking for in response is am I doing the right thing? Is working through this, both him and I praying over the situation and bettering ourselves, and me keeping him on a tight leash in the dog house is the right thing? What would you have done if the man you’ve been loving for 6 years stuck his dick in a prostitute’s mouth?

Technorati Tags: 6 years, adult, best friends, buddies, condom, drinking and drugs, first kiss, first love, gut feeling, half years, love triangle, marriage, money to buy a house, Opportunity, oral sex, Path, prostitute, serious relationship, shock, unthinkable, virginity