its a long read, and i am sorry, but please, help me. if you need any more details that will help you give me a better answer, please ask me, i need all the advice i can get. okay, so first to describe my girl. she’s independent, smart, and has some commitment issues (not talking about cheating or anything, but sticking with someone) she has been hurt before about 2 years ago, and is now skeptical of letting me in again.
heres the situation: me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 4 months. we have had little to no disagreements, and always got along well. about a month into the relationship, she was scared of it getting too serious, and she broke it off. i didn’t give up because i really care for her and love what we had together. about a week later, she figured her stuff out, and we got back together. everything has been fine since about 3 weeks ago. she told me that she was not ready for a serious relationship, and she was telling the truth. (not like she used it as an excuse to break up, she still had MUCH feelings for me. ) she said she needed some time to think about things and try to let herself know that she is ready for this kind of realtionship. she also said, that we need to be more casual for a while, so we can base our realtionship upon a good friendship. ive put up with the emotional roller coaster for these 3 weeks. we occasionally kissed, and a weve hung out a few times. we still regularly saw each other at school, just not as much. and now, another wrench has been thrown in the picture. about 1.1/2 months ago, i had some friends over at my house, along with a neighbor and her friend. now this neighbor is a "pretend slut". she gets with guys, and has a different bf like all the time, but she never will actually go anywhere with a guy besides kissing them. (but we are just friends). we all went swimming in the saltwater close to my house, so we came in and took showers to wash off the salt after we finished swimming. while i was in the shower, my this girl opened the door, and came in. she had her bathing suit on, and she decided to get into the shower. her friend followed, and (her friend) proceeded to take her clothes all the way off. i did not touch them at all, nor did i let them touch me. i simply went with it, and didn’t say much about it after. i finished, and got them out of the room and got dressed, (end of story) well now, as of yesterday, my girl found out about this whole shower thing from some kid who she’s never met xcept over facebook. now, she has lost a lot if not all trust in me, and dosnt know if she can forgive me. (thats what she told me)
i LOVE her, but not the common high-school meaning of love thrown around so easily nowadays. but i DO know i truly love this girl, because if i didn’t, i wouldn’t have been patient with her in the first place and i wouldn’t have let her back the first, and the second time she hurt me. i still think, deep down she loves me too, because right before she found this information out, she came up to me at school and said "i DO love you, i REALLY do. i just want some time alone so i can figure things out, just give me a few more weeks." she said that <—., which makes me think she deep down does STILL love me. even after this whole shower thing. something i dont understand, is how i have given her my love and shown my love through the many chances i have given her to think her stuff through, and how much i have forgiven her for breaking up with me in the beginning, and also just recently like 3 weeks ago, yet she wont give me JUST 1 chance to start fresh and let me back in.
my questions are:
how do i gain her trust back?
once that happens, how do i get her to give me a second chance?
how do i fix the rest of it?
i think that if we can work through this, it will make our relationship MUCH MUCH stronger.
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