So this is kinda a long story. Go to the bottom for a synopsis/shorter version if you don’t have the time. I met this girl a couple months ago, from one of my good friends who had just met her as well. We really hit it off because we had so much in common and she lives just down the hall in my apartment. And over the span of a month, we were constantly with each other along with msging/text/calls/etc. At that point, I asked her out on a real date and she said yeah. I ended up taking her to the aquarium which was awesome, and that night held her hand watching a movie. A couple dates later, and one night we got kinda intimate, nothing crazy but still…I asked her if she was looking for a relationship and she said, umm not right at this moment, but maybe sometime soon. Anyways, since that night, for the next couple weeks, things felt a little different, definitely changed from the first month, maybe because things went from harmless to questionable. Still I cared about this girl, and we had already expressed mutual feelings so I went ahead and basically cheesed out a "do you want to be together/be my girlfriend" line. I haven’t had a relationship in college yet, so I’m kinda new at this but she said yes. A couple days later, at dinner, she basically reneged on it, saying she just wasn’t ready and didn’t want to commit 98% to something that should be 100%. And I took it, said it was ok, and I could wait, so we were "dating". Well I could tell something was still off, because she stopped contacting me much over the thanksgiving break, and she seemed to always be busy when I wanted to hang out. So I had another talk with her, and she kinda changed her views again, saying shes not ready, family issues and she doesnt want to be exclusive in that she would only hang out with one person. She had an awful first relationship that ended a few months ago, and for now, she just needs a friend because she’s not sure when she’s ready to get into that again. She also wants to stop the intimate stuff, like holding hands and kissing, because that should be reserved for a relationship (This is a conservative girl). Things moved too fast, and maybe we should take a step backward, get to know each other better. And she added that we could definitely go somewhere, assured me there was no one else (she has a lot of guy friends), and she didn’t want to confirm anything now because it might lead me on and be unfair that I’d have to do most of the work now.
I don’t think this is one of those, "I just want to be friends" kind of thing because she initiated several things that happened. I really do think its a timing problem, maybe I’m wrong. We’re still going on dates and stuff.
I’ve screwed up a lot in this whole thing lol, from being too much of that nice guy who offers to do a lotta stuff to moving too fast and getting too emotionally attached for someone who’s not that type but I do feel like things could still work out.
She said like 5 times she wasn’t "playing the field", so I honestly don’t think it’s someone else, even if she hangs out with a lotta dudes. I hate part of it though, cause you care about someone and you don’t know how they feel back (shes a gamer chick too lol, works at Gamestop) and you try to read what’s going on but that only results in more uncertainty, doubt, and denial…and I’m mostly a confident guy, just at times during this whole thing, I’ve felt kinda insecure, she doesn’t like revealing too much – definitely guarded. She’s told me that her last relationship, she had to do all the work, basically ditch her friends to meet the demands of the guy. And she doesn’t want that right now, even if I tell her I’m not like that. She just wants some time to herself and to do what she wants and if she made that commitment, it might turn out unfair given that I’d prob have to do most of the work at least early on. Well in the past week or so, I’ve made a big effort to try and help with rides/anything she needs/asking to hang out, but she’s mostly come up with excuses, legit or not. And I know I’ve been pushing (me doing all the initiating), it’s just hard not to think about, and I’m overwhelmed with regrets about stupid things I’ve done and said in this whole thing.
Sorry that’s like a damn novel lol.
Basically, I’ve been way too overbearing the last couple of weeks with this girl that I’ve been going on dates with. And the reason why is because we basically became "official" or whatever for a couple days before she said she wasn’t quite ready to be exclusive (only hanging with one person). I’ve made an effort to work on it, and just be there for her but I know I’ve been calling/asking too much. Should I just give up? At this point, I’ve messed up a lot and maybe some things are irreversible. Or is there still a chance this could work out, and if so, what steps should I take? Idk, I’ve either pushed too much and she feels pressured or if we got to a certain place on the brink of a relationship, then certai
*certainly we can get there again
