If your marriage is in trouble but you want to avoid divorce, you will need to convince your spouse that it’s worth trying to save the marriage. You might not be able to do this, but it’s vital that you try, if you want to save what you have now.
You can stop a divorce at any stage of the proceedings up to the final decree, whether it’s before papers are filed, or right at the last moment before the final paperwork is completed. The earlier you halt the proceedings, the greater the likelihood of it not being restarted, at least in the near future.
It is vital therefore, to persuade your spouse that your marriage is worth another chance. Maybe you have already been begging and pleading for reconciliation but if you have, then stop. That might sound peculiar, as if you are giving in and thereby making the divorce process easier for them. But the pleading you were doing might actually have convinced them to continue with the proceedings because people don’t like being around someone who is crying and needy all the time.
How to Persuade your Ex to Stop the Divorce
If you can manage to behave pleasantly and in a mature manner, then your partner might bring a halt to the proceedings out of surprise at your behavior. Then you can explain calmly that you don’t want the divorce. They know this already but are more likely to listen now that you are calm. When you change the way you are behaving, and help them to understand how sad and hurt you are, and that you really want to give it another go, they may react surprisingly.
Your spouse might not have seen you behaving in a mature manner lately, so show your mature side, and suggest that you go to couples counseling. Millions of couples have taken this route, and it has succeeded for them. It could help your relationship as well. This period of counseling can give you a precious respite before divorce proceedings begin, and help the other person to see that it’s worth trying again.
This is also a time when you can each give the other a chance to show why you fell in love in the first place. You are also demonstrating a genuine effort to sort out your problems, which will come to light in the counseling process. You might find that this is enough to convince your spouse that they should halt the divorce proceedings permanently, not just temporarily.
Once you have managed to halt the divorce, you still need to bear in mind that your spouse was on the point of divorcing you, and they could easily change their minds back again. The decision to file for divorce will now be easier, having gone through the decision process, and perhaps the filing process, once before. It’s worth keeping this in mind as the state your relationship is in, and maybe keep the counseling going. What you want to achieve is not just a temporary halt to divorce proceedings, but a good long term relationship.
