My fiance broke up with me and now has a new girlfriend….how do I cope?

My fiance of a year last week broke up with me through an email and the next day, he met someone new and is now "in love" in a relationship. We have been unhappy for a couple weeks now and ever since he had surgery, he’s been very weird and it doesn’t help that he drinks a lot too. Apparently, this new relationship is an online fling. Up until a couple weeks ago we never had trust issues and we were a great team. We were best friends before we started dating.

Now I feel lost and uncertain. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll return or not. How do I move on without thinking of him and her together? How can I move on without him? I feel like I’m dying inside :(
btw, I never saw this chick show up until last week the day before we broke up and I have confirmation that it’s a brand new thing. He hasn’t started drinking heavily until after the surgery. Up until then, we never had trust/cheating issues.



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How many of you guys would take a guy back?

How many of you guys would take a guy back? this is what happend when i met him he was married to someone else and he said he would leave her but time went by and it never happend. then something happend and he went to jail for a couple months i moved on with my life and all. So when he gets out the first thing he does is go look 4 me he says he is really in love with me and all he did is think about me and the baby while he was locked up. Now he wants to make things work between us but i have trust issues with him now. i want to know if its worth it givivng him a chance. he says he is a different guy and the baby and i mean the world to him.. now i told him if that was the case then prove it and fix things now should i wait 4 him or just move on. I want to get honest answer on this ok..no funny answers please.


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How to fix the trust in your relationship after you have lied? Does time really mend trust issues?

Not quite a year ago, I lied to my mate. It was what I thought was a meaningless lie. I had hoped he had gotten me pregnant, we had discussed this before. I bought a test and the first one was negative. I saved the second in my car to take later. He later asked me if I thought I was pregnant. I told him I wasn’t sure. He asked if I had testeed, and for some reason I said no. He later found the second test, and his impression was that I thought I was pregnant and was hiding it from him. His conclusion was if I was hiding this and lying then it must be because I was sleeping around.
In all honesty, it was a nonsensical lie, and I have never thought of cheating on him.

Time has passed, and I thought we had gotten over it, but he was using my phone and saw a number he did not recognize. I explained that it was an old coworker of mine, who did not have a phone and that number was her fiance’s number.

All the past came back and he is paranoid that I am sleeping around on him. For true feedback- I am not cheating. I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. I offered to call the number or give him the info, and he said I guess we jst have trust issues. I asked how I can help fix things and he said to just give it time.

Is this really the only solution? And does time really help mend this sort of thing? If there is something I can do to ease his worries, I would do them…

We have a four year old and am terrified that the lack of trust will ultimately be our undoing… I want to save my family.

Any advise?
To clarify, he asked me if I had taken any test and I lied and said no, when in fact I had. I guess in my delusional thinking, I had some thought that if I waited, I might be pregnant and then could surprise him with the exciting news, but my secret really hurt him. And it wasn’t him being over suspicious. It was my shady behavior. I don’t know why it came out of my mouth.
There was also an incident when we first were dating, he asked me if I had been checking on my ex (online) I told him no because I didn’t want him to think I was still "hanging on" but he was over one night and saw on my computer that I was in fact reading my ex’s myspace and he was upset that I didn’t tell him the truth. I think I have always had abandonment issues, and tried to tell him what I thought he wanted to hear. I have been focusing on my reactions and responses and have not lied to him again. I have tried to be very open. The number has been on my phone for years, he just happened to see it and is upset.


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How to get my ex-girlfriend back?

Here’s what happened.

When i was still courting her, Ive seen that my girl saeran, was a weak person. at the smallest presence of pressure, she would easily be scared and panicky. for this ive decided to be the one person where she could easily get her strength from.

i have trust issues. and when we were already in the relationship, she told me she had an ex-girlfriend. now this wasnt really easy for me. after a few months of smooth sailing, this caused me to lose trust in her friends. i became overprotective and paranoid. this caused her harm but we stood strong and eventually, i learned to trust her friends.

then i decided to get a job and quit school. this was rather painful, as we were used to seeing each other and being with each other all the time. but we were able to tough it out, spending whatever time we had wisely and happily.

then came a time when both of us lost time for each other. i became paranoid because i felt forgotten. saeran had new friends since i wasnt able to be with her. this brought a lot of problems for me. all her new friends are strangers to me and i dont trust them not one bit. and these new friends of her seemed to always want to get drunk. now this caused me to become more of a control freak, and she wasnt able to do what she wanted regarding these new friends of hers. one day she broke up with me. she told me that she felt stranggled and she didnt know what to do.

i realized this, and i was able to fix the problem. i now trusted her more, and i just told myself consistently that she wouldnt choose to do anything that could hurt me or our relationship.

after a few days of separation, we eventually got together.

but still, we had fights. we never seem to be able to talk on the phone or personally, and i had become too scared that our relationship was falling apart. i became too concerned that i tried so hard to look for the spot where we went wrong. i was trying so much, that even small things turned big because i was thinking that they couldve caused all this. in short i strangled and stressed her too much with my paranoia.

one day, i woke up with sweet messages from her. and i felt like calling her so i did. then came an argument (caused by me making small things bigger). she misunderstood my point and was already crying so she hung up the phone on me. i decided to go to her place and talk to her. upon arriving, well she was mad at me for being there. i wanted to talk to her (and this is one problem too, because i never did gave her time for serious talks, i always wanted to talk immediately.) she wasnt trying at all. in desperation, i told her that maybe she was so angry at me because she didnt want the relationship anymore. i asked her if she still wanted to be with me, and that if she still loves me, and her only response was a shoulder shrug.

but she had somewhere else to go to with her sister. so she was hastily moving and was about to take a bath and let me go when i told her "please, before letting me out of your house, let’s finish this conversation." that’s where she told me that she didnt want to be with me anymore..

ive forgotten that saeran was not at all strong and that she needed me to be her safety net and as a source of strength. she didnt need me as a parent.

here are somethings she told me the first time things got messy:

1.) i was the only person who loved her the most, but also the one who have hurt her the most.
2.)she thanked me for not ever lying to her.
3.)she thanked me for not ever cheating on her.

what do i do? i know she still loves me. but i really want her back.
oh and we became so good together, that we were also actually best friends and we trusted each other to be always there so much..
we had a whole year of our relationship.


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Is My Ex Over Me Already?

Is My Ex Over Me Already, or does she want to be friends in hope we may get back? ?

Broke up with my long term girlfriend almost 3 months ago. We were deeply in love and cared for each other very much.

Unfortunately my girlfriend had a lot of trust issues, baggage and confidence problems stemming from her past. She was cheated on by her lesbian girlfriend whom she loved…who cheated on her with a man…and then two timed by another girlfriend she really liked…and then she was also disowned for a while by her parents when she came out. So as a result, she is quite messed up.

She always loved me and was kind…but when we got deep..she started to get insecure..and her fears of being rejected crept in. She started lying to me and exaggerating her sex past.

She started off lying about her sex past with men..to apparently relate to me ( I am bi)..which she later admitted was stupid. And then she started upping her sexual partner number and things she did with past partners to sound adventurous and experienced ‘in case I may lose interest in her once our honeymoon period was over’

Besides being confused and angry, i was also baffled why she would lie about her past after 2 years of being together. Why she would need to make her past sex life sound good..when our sex life already was good.

To her, she said it was too good to be true. So maybe she thought it would crumble, like everything good had- in her past.

Anyway, unfortunately i started not trusting her, questioned everything..she grew tired even though she knew it was her fault for lying! we both started fighting too much…because trust was broken.

But i still loved her. She lost energy…as did I. But she started having mild depression…feeling guilty ..not understanding her behaviour…she became exhausted. And lost interest in us. Many times I told her good bye.

But she cried and almost begged and i took her back..thinking i could believe in her again.

Anyway, 3 months ago she said she wanted out. She felt she had lost energy and felt it was not working. The argument took its toll…and she fell out of love. BUT still loved and cared for me. Weird concept.

She also said she hopes we can ‘become good friends soon as we shared a lot and were best friends and close”. I saw this as very dodgy! and a nice let down. But she also added that we need to become friends again she hopes…and see where that takes us. And if it leads somewhere..then she is open to it. But can’t promise anything.

I requested distance and she agreed, we both went overseas on our own trips recently…and we communicated briefly on email (friendly).

Anyway we started texting again. I told her I regret losing the one person I truly cared about. And she told me she doesn’t know what to say, but then says she “does miss me”

I asked her what she misses…and she said the “emotional and physical intimacy we had in the first 2 years, before we started arguing. That was something very special”

Anyway…she really wants to rebuild my trust and keen to become friends again considering that was broken

I asked her why now she is wanting to do this when she had that time to before…and she said that she had problems then and was exhausted. She also said she is working on herself and did a lot of soul searching.

Anyway, she does return my text messages very quickly and emails as well…are almost ultra friendly.

I am being very cautious ..because i don’t know what her intentions are.

I understand if we were to ever reconcile, we need to become friends again first. Cos how can u be lovers if u can’t be friends? and rebuild trust. but, do you think she still has feelings for me?

If an ex said to you, after 2 1/2 months that they missed u? and they said they were working on themselves etc and wanted to build your trust again…what would u think?

Is she over me already only after 3 months?

I do still love her and I want to know how to get her back.

I just don’t want to be mislea.


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