URGENT: CIVIL CONTRACT AGREEMENT, CRIMINAL FILING, OR WHAT TO DO?
My boyfriend and I had been living together. He stole 000 worth of jewelry from me and took it to a pawn shop in March. Then, on Tuesday night, I saw that there were checks forged in my name that he had stolen from my checkbook. He has also committed debit card fraud. I confronted him, and he told me he had been using cocaine since June of 2007. I told him I was leaving him on Wednesday. He first pleaded with me, then grabbed a knife, held it at me, then at himself, saying he was "going to kill himself", shook me, then ran. I called his son to get him and 911. I was so flustered and did not want to get him in trouble, I forgot to mention the holding the knife up to me and shaking me. He was committed for a psychiatric evaluation. I received a temporary restraining order for him on 4/30. I went back to our shared residence (house is in his deceased mother’s name), and told him not to come near me when I was there and my car was there. He came in, I told him I was going to call 911, he shook me and told me not to call 911, I called 911, he yelled that he was going court, then he called 911 and said I assaulted him, and then he sped off. I have a court date for the restraining order for May 14. I have filed a police report regarding the stolen jewelery, which was an inheritance from my mother, on 5/01/2010. He has admitted in text messages that he pawned my 00 diamond and gold necklace,00 diamond ring, and 0 amythyst and gold ring. I have the empty boxes for all of the missing jewelery. I had kept my jewelery in a safe deposit box, but left it at home for a couple days because I thought I was going to wear it. He has forged 57 worth of checks, which I have reported to Bank of America. I am going to report the debit card fraud tonight, it is approximately 00. He also broke my front tooth in an accident when I fell off his back, which will cost me 75. He has had a history of drug abuse in his past. He is currently on methadone, which he has been on for at least the past 5-6 years, has smoked marijuana, and states that he has been doing cocaine since June of 2009, about 11 months. He lost his first wife and kids to a meth addiction. I would like restitution, in the form of the 000-12,000 amount he owes me (depending on how much I can claim). His boss and my ex boyfriend were trying to work out a restitution agreement where I would fill out a contract, then my ex boyfriend (the employee), would go to the bank, cash his paycheck, and leave a portion of it for me with his employer. I would then sign for it. This would be a Promisary Note with interest.
I would like to know the steps I should or can take, my rights under the restraining order, and whether or not you think it is in my best interest to go the civil route and make up a contract between me, my ex boyfriend, and his employer. If so, what would my rights be if there was a breach of contract?

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS:

1) What legal rights would I have if I were to make a promissary note between me, my ex, and his boss, and get it notarized and signed?

2) Is there a statute of limitations for payment on a promissary note (if person were to default for a period of time, or pay for a while, then default on payments)?

3) How long could he miss payments before I could take it to civil court and sue? How does this process work?

4) What legal rights do I have to my belongings in his house, if it is stated in the restraining order that he is not to harm my belongings?
I live in WA state



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Hi all,

Your friend here needs a little help and advice. Here is the situation ok, I have been dating my ex-girlfriend for the past 6 years. She is about to turn 21 years old in 2 months. Our relationship has always been solid. We get along so well and always make each other laugh constantly. Been though so many ups and downs regarding her family not wanting her to date and such but we fought through it. She moved in for the last 2 years for college. Our relationship has always been great when we were together. The only thing is that she wanted to party more and be more social and going to clubs and all. To me, I told her, all that really doesn’t matter because I have the love of my life next to me and that is all I needed to make me happy. I’m not a drinker or smoker. She wanted me to start drinking when we go hang out with friends or when they come over sometime, but I choose not to.

Last year at around this time when we were still living together, I found out that she cheated on me with a guy and she later found out that he has a kid already. I sort of force things to get her to come back and she did. It lasted two months with this guy and I got her to moved back in with me.

Everything was great, we started going out. Just last year alone, we went to Disneyland, SeaWorld, San Diego beach, Water rafting, Snowboarding, santa cruz beach boardwalk, etc.. She’s always happy when we’re together.

Then all of a sudden, on Tuesday night at around 11:30pm three weeks ago, I finished taking a shower and came to bed, she said while laying her head the other way, "have you notice that something has been bugging me for the past 3 months." I said, "no, what is it." long story short, she said she’s attracted to this guy that came to the salon to get a hair cut. While she was cutting his hair, he told her that he’s a Stanford MBA graduate, vice president of Well’s Fargo, said that he got 0,000 bonus from his job last year, he said he have traveled to Thailand, Bora Bora, etc. He said if your my girlfriend I would take you to all these places. He told her that she doesn’t have to work if she is his wife and he also drives the latest BMW edition. So she is fascinated about all these stuff. Then I help her moved all her stuff back to her mom place, She’s dating this guy right now as we speak. He’s 29 years old 6’2.

So I’m very depressed and starting hanging out with my friends more often, everybody was very shock that we broke up. I showed them a picture of who she’s dating and they said, "I know this guy, my wife knows this guy, they went to high school together, she know where he was rasied, he dated so many girls." One of my friend said at first they feel sorry for me, but after seeing this guy, they said they feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend, they said you shouldn’t compare yourself to this guy, your a much better person, he’s a con-artist, he dated about 10 girls already, he take girls from their boyfriend and dump them and the girl run back to their ex always.

So my question is, should I take my ex back if she ever ask me back. Right now I still love her and will always. She ask me, "you don’t hate me after I have done this to you." I told her that my love for her is unconditional and that I don’t see myself ever again loving another girl as much as I love her. I do love her very much. She also told me, that her boyfriend right now is very boring and that he doesn’t make her laugh like I do. She said she attracted to him for his looks and wealth. She told me that he’s going to buy her a ,000 car, asked her to engage, and said she’s going to get her passport because this guy is taking her to tahiti.

Have you guys been through the same situation and end up successful. I really do want to work things out with her and I don’t want my heartbroken again because it really hurt. What can I do to make it last? Anything will help, and thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.


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Here’s a long story.

Dated my best friend for three years starting freshman year. Last couple months have been rocky – I picked fights over everything accidentally, but still didn’t stop. We talked last Sunday about being sad in the relationship because no one is budging, and I suggested since he seemed so doubtful about what to do, that we should break up. To my surprise, he didn’t deny it as he usually would (with him or with another partner, never again will I try the reverse psychology…no games). I begged him Sunday night thru Tuesday night, and eventually he went from being nice about it to telling me he fell out of love with me and that he was unwilling to work on the relationship and he didn’t want it. Of course I’m devastated. Well that was Tuesday, where he also said he didn’t miss me. It had only been two days at that point and I know he’s been under a lot of stress, and he thinks that this will fix our problem – running away from it. He said he wants to be friends (the classic line to soften the blow) but I don’t want that, but now I can’t fight it. So I’m going along with it, and Friday he sees me and comes up to me at school and hugs me, then goes on to say, "Oooh girl you smell good." It’s like why would he do that? Then Friday night I go out with my friend and shop. Saturday he texts me saying good morning, much like a friend WOULDN’T do. That’s not just friendly at all. He stopped doing that when we were dating even months ago, and probably around the same time he claimed he fell out of love. Then all day he texted me, asking me what I did Friday night, who I went with, where I went, what I bought, what I was doing Saturday, where I was going, and who I was going with. He NEVER did that before when we were dating. Why now? Why is he complicating this? He said he wants friends but it’s not just friendly talk. He’s not being sexual but it’s not always strictly being sexual that makes a relationship. Then Sunday he didn’t talk to me at all. He’s hot and cold! He had told me before that he didn’t like how I acted, but he was never as explicit to why until it was too late. But I feel like he’s fighting with himself on his decision. A lot of our mutual friends are ambushing him asking him what’s the deal, and now he’s shutting even his best guy friend out about it. I think he needs time to figure things out once his obligations quiet down and he gets to think about what’s going on, but can someone tell me what’s going through his mind? He’s not trying to be friends in a good way because if I need to move on I will, but I can wait for him. I just won’t wait forever, and he can’t put me through this heartache of trying to figure him out. He even had said that he wants our friendship to be natural, and if it comes back to being together, then it does, but we shouldn’t force it. It seems like he’s forcing it to stay friendly at times even when he feels like he wants more. That’s also not natural if he is falling slightly for me again…he’s fighting himself. I wish I could get him to listen to his heart and not just his head. I don’t want to fight either but I can’t show him that we won’t fight unless we’re together. Friends don’t just fight for no reason – couples fight because of couple problems. Help…how can I show him that we should be together by being his friend?
*I have evaluated my issues and our issues and they’re just a matter of dealing with problems better, not lashing out for stupid things. I just want to to prove to him that this can work – but I want to know how to make it to that point. He said he loves me but isn’t in love with me, so there’s that love there. I think he’s scared to get back into it and be hurt, but I want to show him that being with me or having an us doesn’t have to be painful – it shouldn’t hurt.


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alot of you know my situation from my last posts…..and i love all you guys because you all give such helpful advice….therefor im coming to you guys again. background is my fiance cheated on me and afterwards said she was sorry and came back, then left again sayign she couldnt stay away from new guy, and wanted to be friends and live with me even while dating the guy she cheated on me with (because her college is right beside my apartment, otherwise would have to drive 1 1/2 a day both ways) i allowed this for a while but then decided she had to go because it just hurt too much to see sher everyday but not be with her and know shes with him. so i made her move out again. that lasted all of 2 days till she asked to come back, and promised things with this guy was over and it was just me and her (which is what i want most of all, shes my life and i cant see myself going on without her. she stayed at the apartment till friday then went back up home to visit her mom, saturday came around and she texted me and said we had to split up again because she shouldnt be with anyone while she decided. she ended up having sex with him the next day (up until then it was always fooling around, which doesnt make it right, but ive explained to her that intercourse to me took it to a whole nother level and i could forgive the folling around, but if she crossed that line its over forever) she crossed that line, so in my mind it was over for good and i had the worst hurt yet of the entire month, (this whole thing started jan 1st.) because i really felt it was over and i had lost her forever.

then tuesday came around, and she almost wrecked driving those 11/2 hours to school because of the bad weather…so she asked if she could stay at the apartment tuesday night because she had to be at school wednesday. i couldnt see myself saying no…the roads were horrible, and what if i did say no because she had sex with him and it was over and something happened where she wrecked. so i let her stay.
things seemed to just sparkle between us that night….and she eventually told me that it was just the thrill of the hunt and that even though i said if she crossed that line it would be over forever, she had to sleep with him just to kinda "conquer the quest" and that the moment it was over, she knew she could move on from him. i explained the situation that i was in, how if i were to take her back i would always fear for her leaving again, that i would be setting myself up for another heart break, that if i let her get away with it that she would never learn that every action has a consequence.
im sorry this is so long, so ill get to my question. i love this girl more than anything, and i cant handle the pain of losing her..so when she promised me he was out of her life for good, and that she would do anything to make me know she was back forever, and that she wanted to grow old with me and have kids…i allowed her to come back. the problem lies in me trying to trust in her.

a part of me thinks shes just coming back to me to be in the apartment so she can be close to school, which ends in may. i fear that she is playing me and come may she will be gone again, with a degree that i supported her throughout getting, and im going to be hurt all over again. i know im probably the dumbest guy out there, and i know there is gonna be alot of answers that say "dude leave once a cheater always a cheater" but what im asking is maybe some advice from people who have been cheated on, and tookl that person back, on things i can do to trust her and not have this hurtful feeling inside of me everytime she is off work, or everytime her cell phone gets a text, etc. i want to be able to sit at work shile she is off and not fear she is going up there with him and having a laugh about how i thinks shes with me but its just so she doesnt have to drive. its been 5 days now…and ive been able to work when shes aty school and off when she is off so i can know where she is….but eventually that isnt going to be the case…..please help someone. i HAVE to keep her in my life i need her, but if i cant trust her and am always worried im going to go insane with the inner battle my mind is going through. please help!


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i posted this in weddings and was hoping for more feedback

alot of you know my situation from my last posts…..and i love all you guys because you all give such helpful advice….therefor im coming to you guys again. background is my fiance cheated on me and afterwards said she was sorry and came back, then left again sayign she couldnt stay away from new guy, and wanted to be friends and live with me even while dating the guy she cheated on me with (because her college is right beside my apartment, otherwise would have to drive 1 1/2 a day both ways) i allowed this for a while but then decided she had to go because it just hurt too much to see sher everyday but not be with her and know shes with him. so i made her move out again. that lasted all of 2 days till she asked to come back, and promised things with this guy was over and it was just me and her (which is what i want most of all, shes my life and i cant see myself going on without her. she stayed at the apartment till friday then went back up home to visit her mom, saturday came around and she texted me and said we had to split up again because she shouldnt be with anyone while she decided. she ended up having sex with him the next day (up until then it was always fooling around, which doesnt make it right, but ive explained to her that intercourse to me took it to a whole nother level and i could forgive the folling around, but if she crossed that line its over forever) she crossed that line, so in my mind it was over for good and i had the worst hurt yet of the entire month, (this whole thing started jan 1st.) because i really felt it was over and i had lost her forever.

then tuesday came around, and she almost wrecked driving those 11/2 hours to school because of the bad weather…so she asked if she could stay at the apartment tuesday night because she had to be at school wednesday. i couldnt see myself saying no…the roads were horrible, and what if i did say no because she had sex with him and it was over and something happened where she wrecked. so i let her stay.
things seemed to just sparkle between us that night….and she eventually told me that it was just the thrill of the hunt and that even though i said if she crossed that line it would be over forever, she had to sleep with him just to kinda "conquer the quest" and that the moment it was over, she knew she could move on from him. i explained the situation that i was in, how if i were to take her back i would always fear for her leaving again, that i would be setting myself up for another heart break, that if i let her get away with it that she would never learn that every action has a consequence.
im sorry this is so long, so ill get to my question. i love this girl more than anything, and i cant handle the pain of losing her..so when she promised me he was out of her life for good, and that she would do anything to make me know she was back forever, and that she wanted to grow old with me and have kids…i allowed her to come back. the problem lies in me trying to trust in her.

a part of me thinks shes just coming back to me to be in the apartment so she can be close to school, which ends in may. i fear that she is playing me and come may she will be gone again, with a degree that i supported her throughout getting, and im going to be hurt all over again. i know im probably the dumbest guy out there, and i know there is gonna be alot of answers that say "dude leave once a cheater always a cheater" but what im asking is maybe some advice from people who have been cheated on, and tookl that person back, on things i can do to trust her and not have this hurtful feeling inside of me everytime she is off work, or everytime her cell phone gets a text, etc. i want to be able to sit at work shile she is off and not fear she is going up there with him and having a laugh about how i thinks shes with me but its just so she doesnt have to drive. its been 5 days now…and ive been able to work when shes aty school and off when she is off so i can know where she is….but eventually that isnt going to be the case…..please help someone. i HAVE to keep her in my life i need her, but if i cant trust her and am always worried im going to go insane with the inner battle my mind is going through. please help!
1 hour ago – 3 days left to answer.


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