I am in the process of a divorce and recently met a wonderful girl. I want to be honest and tell her that my ex to be is expecting our second child shortly. I was also extremely unhappy and committed adultery during our marriage. I have never cheated in any relationships during my life and believe strongly in honesty. I realize now that my extreme unhappiness led me to this wrong path. This is not my character but want a second chance at life and a solid relationship. Any advice?


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ok this is not the usual cheating case. i have hurt her in another way. I will put it short. i am a person who is stubborn and like things to go my way in a relationship. The girl is someone who loves me a lot and try to suit what i want and keep her unhappiness regarding us to herself . She’s a quiet person as well. From the start of our relationship, when we are together, we really enjoyed ourself. The problem come when we are not together. I was the one who ask her out and start a chat with her most of the time. This makes me feel that she is not interested and she said she will try to change. But whenever i bring up to her that she’s not changing, we end up both unhappy. I feel that she could do more for the relationship. My problem then were that, i feel i am right and hence expect her to change for me. i expect her to do a lot. amd she really did. she make a lot of time for us to go out, go out late with me despite her parents don like, always talk to me when i wanted to, tried to change herself to suit me, give in to my sexual advances(not sex) even though she’s shy, never scolded me even when she’s unhappy etc. But some of the things i don get, i will insist on it. Like she did not really change herself to ask me out or chat with me more often to what i expect, ends up unhappy whenver we talk about it and this gives her stress i guess. Whenever she can’t go out when i want to, i will be unhappy and this gives her stress. She told me that she felt that ” i think if she like me she should go out with me, she could do better to suit me”. After all those things she did and stress she took, i still feel that she does not love me wholeheartedly and did not put in much effort in our relationship simply because(i think) i am someone who is very insitent on doing things my way. When she cannot meet my expectations, i feel she did not put in much effort and doesn’t love me that much. Before we broke off, i even scolded her’: if you love me, don just say it, show it! This hurt her so much that she cannot take it and wanted to break off. Now, i am totally regretting it. I want her back. We are still talking and going on 1 on 1 outing once in 2 weeks. But, i really want to win her back. She told me that she still like me. but those times where i hurt her keep on coming back to haunt her even after 10 months. I realise my mistake. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn and only focus on things i want, this gives a lot of stress. She did a lot for me, but maybe because i took them for granted, that’s why i felt that she didn’t do much and hence felt that she don love me that much. If only i am not so insistent on doing things my way, take note and appreciate more of the things she did for me, i wouldn’t have felt that she don love me and we could have been very happy. Please let me know if i am wrong. This are the problems with me that i concluded after tons of relection. I feel that our situation rersembles that of a men cheating on his wife and hurting her, then regrets it and want her back. It looks like a very difficult task. Can some people please tell me what can i do? what can i do to make her trust me again? she say she still likes me, but can’t forget the times where i hurt her.


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I’ve been married for 4yrs. About 3 mths ago my husband began to express to me some unhappiness in our marriage. I knew he was unhappy in his job & he was somewhat depressed. We both saw a counselor separately & jointly and things began to improve. Then things begin to revert to where we were before counseling. Then my husband finally comes out & tells me that he is no longer in love with me. He said for the past year of our marriage he had fallen out of love with me. Of course he gives me no reason & says that I’ve done nothing wrong. He swore there is no one else, & I believe him. He told me his dream is to have his own apartment & to be able to come and go as he pleases. I just feel cheated because when he first become unhappy he did not express that to me. I’ve only known 3 months that he wasn’t happy in our marriage. Well, now he has decided to separate. I just feel like we haven’t tried enough to make it work. Is there any way he could fall in love with me again?
FYI : I’m 25 and he’s 31. I believe him when he says there is no one else. Our whole entire marriage we’ve had the same work schedule and worked in the same building but different departments. We also had lunch together at work pretty much every day. So this could have just been too much time together. I just wish he wold have told me when he first became unhappy. I feel like he bottled up those feelings and that just made things worse. I’ve only known a few months about unhappiness and we only saw the counselor together once and at that time things seemed to be getting better and then all of a sudden he dropped the I’m not in love with you anymore I think we should separate. I know he cares about me and I just don’t understand why he did this to our marriage. I will agree he is a little immature but I still love him and I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact it could be over. I just wish he would give me the reasons he fell out of love.


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