Rebound Relationship

A relationship breakup can be a devastating experience for anyone. But in some cases do people in your life situation even worse. Sometimes you discover that your best friend is in a rebound relationship with your ex. It can be incredibly confusing, disheartening and disappointing. Some people will simply be sad when this happens. Others will become angry and confused. If your best friend in the rebound over ex, there are a few things you should do.

Wait

You must be able to vent to someone about your problem. You can easily have a rush of emotion when you discover that your best friend is dating your ex. If you find that this is the case, please tell someone how you feel. Getting all your anger and frustration out of someone is a necessary step.

If this is something that makes you sad, you need to cry on someones shoulder. Ventilation allows you to calm down a bit. Venting can help you feel better and can help you clear out your head.

Get angry and sad

Generally, people will tell you to calm down when you realize that your best friend is dating your ex. It is normal to feel angry and upset, however. Most people want to keep their exes for themselves. Although they can not dating, they want to keep their memories with them closely. A friend dating ex could ruin those memories.

If this happens to you, it’s OK to be angry and sad. Find a release, allowing you to get all your anger and frustration out. Go to a gym and train, or working on your favorite hobby. Do what you must do to allow yourself to be both angry and sad for a while.

Re-Evaluate Your Friendship

At some point, you should reconsider your friendship with the person who is now dating your ex. You have to think about the whole situation before you write them down. If you are not careful, you can ruin a good friendship over someone you are not even dating anymore.

You have to think about borders. Have you clearly indicate to them that you do not want them dating your ex? How would they feel the exact same situation? Understand what they go through as well before you make any decisions about your friendship.

Initially, a friend dating an ex be an incredibly tough situation. Your heart may still be broken, and you may find that it makes it even worse. It is important to know that it’s OK to feel angry and sad. It is OK to walk someone about the situation. This will help you make the right decision for your friendship in the end.


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So this guy John that I have known for almost 3 yrs dated since July/August of 2009 until Feb 2010.We split up and had no communication for almost 2 months(non-speaking terms).Anyways I saw him around a couple of times at the same bar that he goes to where I was with(once 5 weeks ago or so) and once last week.Last week I asked him if he would like to grab a cup of coffee with me and catch up.I was trying to be civilized etc and just polite.He said "no" which I expected and accepted and I was about to walk away when he started to vent abt. the break up and his life and so forth.I listened to all of this for 20 minutes of so,he was raising his voice,I was telling him to calm down and next thing I know he kissed me and proposed to me.I accepted the proposal(stupid I know!) but hrs. later found out that my ex had a couple of drinks with his friends.Anyways him and I chatted,catched up,all his friends knew that we both were outside and talking.I was introduced that night to his dad who has lung cancer as his fiance.His dad was so happy that his son found someone to make him happy.The ex and I talked until 4am and 9am comes and the ex had some errands to run,I call my ex a couple of hrs later b/c we needed to talk and he calls back.He finally says that the prior night was us moving too fast and that we should remain good friends.I said sure yet even though I was not sure how I would take it.Monday of this week I called and asked him if he meant what he said,he played the dumb role and asked me what part and I told him the whole thing on Thursday.I guess he still remembered since he was not opened to talk about the subject and always said comments like how I should drop the subject and how he does not want any more drama.I asked him my final question which was how someone can say something and 12 hrs later have those words taken back.He still wanted to be friends he said after I asked him all those 2 questions.After that we did not speak for a couple of days.I called him 2 days ago and he was busy and I made it a 20 second convo saying that since he is too busy I will let him go(what he usually does anyways).Today I was polite to call and wish him happy Good Friday.We talked briefly and he had to go since he hates driving and talking at the same time.I told him that I could be his friend but I cannot.I still like him more than a friend so here is my question:do I sit down with him and tell him "John, look I know we have agreed that we ought to remain friends.But I cannot be your friend because I like you more than a friend.I understand if you cannot or do not return my feelings but I cannot be stuck here in limbo."….I just want to tell him how I really feel so I can get it off my chest.I had the guts to ask him to grab coffee and that took a lot of guts.I am not sure how to approach this and tell him how I still feel with out making him uncomfortable.

PS:

Him,our mutual friend Hanan and I were best friends before him and I started to date.Now since I am best friends with Hanan and she is good friends with him as well well it became complicated.Mine and his break up was supposed to be personal but expanded to include a large group of friends,our siblings,close and best friends,etc.Now he gave our mutual friend an ultimatum:that she has to choose who she wants to be friends with either him or I which I find stupid.My friend wants to stay out of the drama and same here except that he does not realize that he,himself is creating the drama or at least most of it now.My friend Hanan and I have stepped away from the whole drama about the break up yet the was the one who could not let go if he made our friend choose.


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Sorry about talking about my Ex so much, but I’m sure many of you have felt helpless and just needed to vent and hear that there is hope (even tho I know there is not much left). I just know that it is possible to get your ex back, so this is to all those girls who broke up with your BF and then took him back when he said he wanted/liked you still. Our break-up was not horrible, she just seemed very picky about stupid little things. I know I can fix what made her mad but she seems to just want to flirt around with other guys and have not attatchment, however I found a few pics of her on Fbook where she is all over this one guy, so I feel extra hurt because it seems like she actually likes this guy. I dunno. How can I get her back? How did your man get you back?


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Hello, thanks for taking your time to read this. I’ll try to narrow it down as much as I can..

To be brief, we’ve been dating for almost two years. He broke up with my because I wanted more space and mentioned that I wanted to go casual (I know, dumb, you can’t go from serious to casual in a day) but we both didn’t drop it and we ended up "parting ways". I KNEW he was going to come back to me, so I let it be. So my girlfriends introduced me to guys, partied, etc, and I feel like I’m finding myself again. Being single isn’t so bad. I didn’t miss him, and people were worried (how I dealt with is so quickly), but happy that I’m moving on without heartache. To be honest, I’m not that strong.. i just tried to keep myself occupied and tried not to vent it out on people. It went fine for about a week. But lately he’s been contacting me, perhaps because I’m sick. The other day he gave me medicine and offered to go eat out, but I declined. I knew that we would both get touchy-touchy and I knew at the end of the day I’d regret doing it (It would feel like I was leading him on). However, the following day he contacts me telling me to come over, watch a movie, and eat with him.. But I broke it down to him that he can’t just pretend nothing happened even though we’ve only broken up for two weeks..It was truly heartbreaking how upset he sounded, but tried not to show it. The last thing he said to me was: "I’m sorry. It was a mistake."

Long story short, I find it hard to be alone because I miss him. But when I’m out during the weekends, I don’t miss him at all (And I’m guilty of this, because we’ve been going out for so long). I find it hard to get used to not talking to someone everyday at night, or receiving text messages..

He is a great, sensitive nice guy.. That’s all I can say. He’s never ever done anything to hurt me in the past, that why I can’t get over him as quickly as I should (even though he broke up with me). He’s my first true love and we shared the best moments of our life together..

So my question is, should I get back with him even if I don’t know what I want? It’s killing me inside knowing one foot is out the door, and the other one isn’t. I’m somewhere in between.. and I can’t make up my mind. My friends don’t really have any advice for me because they’ve never been in my position before.

Thanks a bunch…
- Confused


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we have been married for 11 yrs and the signs were there. I never grew up, never paid as much attention to my wife as i should have. I always loved her. More than anyone could know. Just now that i think i let her slip too far away…..and shes found someone who will listen and care for her. I want to stop it before anything happens and i have confronted her about. She says it will stop, but i know its not that easy. It breaks my heart thinking about the whole situation. This is new news to me, i ha vent eaten in 3 days, im missing work, im a total wreck. I love her more than anything in the world,,,do you think its too late for me? i know i should have been the best husband all along, not only when something like this happens. I really need some answers and someone to talk to, im all alone here..


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