My fiance broke up with, he thinks he's gay?

ok so me and my fiance have been dating for 5 years, and engaged for 1 year. We are both dancers, mostly hip hop. We have two children together 2 years old, and 1 year old. We have been living together for 2 years. Well, we recently broke up and i made him move out. He basically said that he wasnt happy and that he lost that connection and he thinks he might be gay. We were supposed to get married next year. I feel at fault because i would go weeks, or even months at a time without giving him some (having sex). But im always tired, taking the care of the kids, cooking and cleaning, and I was in school at the time..working during the day and school at night. while he just played his video games all the time. Sometimes i just wasnt in the mood, and other times i felt like "why should i give you some when you dont what i ask" But anyway, i have no one to talk to about this. I dont know if i should believe that this is just a phase and that maybe because he’s a dancer and around gay people all the time ..that he’s just gettin feelings of friendship and attraction mixed up. He’s not used to havin close friends, and our gay friends are very friendship and warm hearted and feels good to be around them because they have good spirits. Should I think that he will come to his senses and come back to me and the kids? Or should I just prepare to move on. I cant do that so easily. i am too attached to him and i would be lying if I said i didnt love him. Would I be preparing to marry him next year..if I didnt love him?! For Better or worse right?


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How can you get your self esteem back after a break up?

Before I met my bf, i was a happy "selfish", single girl. I was never the type who would easily commit into a relationship bc i was always content on my own and w. my close friends and family. My bf was confident/secure and knew he wanted me, worked very hard and we were in a relationship. The last few weeks my intution told me something was wrong and when i would talk to him about it, he reassured me things were okay but things were still a bit off. I’m a good gf-i’m understanding, i don’t criticize him – i respected, appreciated him and what he did for me, understood his "me time" and time w. his friends, I never nagged. I felt as if he wasn’t treating me the way I should be treated – he did not deserve the title. My intution kicked my stomach and nicely demanded he tell me what was up – he said he didn’t want a gf, he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he lost feelings, no spark, and he didn’t want to have to work anymore (work for what? I tried w/o doing the work – never clingy, never did more than I should). He said he couldn’t give me what I want and needed bc his car, video games, and friends are more important (his friends don’t have ambition in life. They just drink and talk about cars, some get high). That night he texted me, "i’m sorry i broke your heart like your d-bag exes.." WHAT?! and RIGHT after we broke up, he texted my best friend saying, "i lost feelings for her…" What’s crazy was that the next day he still texted me saying he felt horrible, sorry, and that he deserves to be called an ****** and a jerk bc of what he did and that he sorry I opened up to him and he lead me on…and that he still really cares about me alot and i’m everything he wants in a girl but he’s not happy and that timing isn’t right.." WH BOTHER TEXTING ME? that was more for him than me. Looking back, he was still consistent and affectionate w. me but not as much as he was before.

W. the help of friends and prayers, I’m doin a bit better but i’m still hurt. I feel jipped bc i was the happy independent girl and now when i wasn’t so scared of committing, he switches it up. I don’t understand – i’m not perfect but i am a good girl. I have respect for myself and others, educated, will graduate soon and into career world, have fun w/o being wild, take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, I’m playful and NOT a slut, and i was understanding and never critcized or nagged my bf. I called him out politely when i felt things weren’t right or disrespected. He said he always wanted a good girl bc all his exes were high maintinence and b*tchy. He said he’s used to being the b*tch in the relationship but I expect my bf to be a man and have self respect. i don’t want to put anyone on a dog collar and be demanding. My friends tell me it was the case of a "guy" who’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants and who he is and he’ll regret losing a good girl/good catch like me. My friends (even all his friends) think i’m "very pretty" so if i’m not ugly and I have a good personality, treat him well w/o chasing him…how can he let me go? How can you just lose feelings? I was always independent and strong but still gave him respect as a man. I’m old fashioned and i’ll still be a lady. Why would he do this? Will I be okay again?
I’m nearing my mid 20′s and my friends are older saying i was just "too mature" for him bc i know what I want, who I am, and am strong. They’re betting he’s going to regret it soon…Thoughts?


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I'm his dream girl but he's not ready for a relationship? Do guys get scared if she's too good to be true?

When my ex met me, he knew he wanted a gf and worked very hard to get me. I was "selfish" and very content w. being single and was cautious of being in a relationship but through time, came to find that he was loyal and the long term type who cared and respected me very much. He loved that i was not like other girls. I’m the "good girl" and completely different than all his exes who were "high maintinence" and b*tchy. He loved how i was confident, independent, smart, knew who i was and what I wanted in life, educated and will graduate soon and into a career, classy, mannered, and funny. I also loved being intimate w him and loyally to him :) I’m not too bad to look at either (his friends thought i was pretty) and right away, introduced me to all his friends, family and they liked me (they were grateful he found a good girl like me). I was a good girlfriend – we both have busy schedules and I NEVER chased him at all but did nice things for him now and then. I never held him back if he wanted time w. his car, video games, or friends – always gave him space and freedom. I always respected him, appreciated him for who he was and what he did to me but if there was ever a time i felt disrespected I stood my ground. I never nagged or criticized him at all.

Within the last few weeks my intuition told me something was off and no matter how much I talked w. him, he assured me everything was fine and how much he wanted to be with me. He was still affectionate and consistent in calling me but felt he wasn’t "there". He wasn’t giving me the sincere respect and attention I deserved. And now, he broke up w. me b/c of his indecisiveness, immaturity, insecurity, and infatuation. I was nothing but infatuation for him. He wants to be alone, no gf, no work, no spark, doesn’t wanna try…how can you not try if having a good girl and all that is here? I don’t wanna get married anytime soon, I’m not pressuring him to be "super serious", i just want a loyal, committed bf. And if there is no other "3rd party", then he didn’t even wanna try w. me? Being on the inside, i never knew (or cared so much) for people’s reactions. Apparently, our mutual friends thought it was "strange" that the "princess was dating the bum" and how "she’s seems to be too mature for him" but were happy he finally "had a princess". And fr. what people say, he still doesn’t know who he is or what he really wants; very immature and can’t think for himself and is easily influenced by his friends. We’re nearing our mid 20′s and i’m more mature than most girls my age (anyway) and he seems to be content w. his friends who have no ambition in life (and possible influenced him tht he’s always w. me, getting jealous but little did they know..). His best friend thinks he’s "stupid" for letting go of a "good catch" like me and that i’ll be the "best girl he’ll ever get". What’s confusing was tht I know he still cared – still consistent w. hugs, kisses, cuddles, taking care of me and phone calls but was distracted. Also, i’m VERY different than all his exes. Will he regret this?


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please help me with my short story?

here’s how it goes so far…

Short Story

It was 3:00 in the afternoon, as Matt came running out of the bus’s doors singing "School’s out for summer! School’s out forever!" He burst in the front door of his house.

"Hi Matthew, how was your last day of 6th grade?" His Mother questioned.

"Just fine mom." .

"Thats good. We should be leaving for the Grand Canyon soon, i hope you’ve packed your bags already."

"Yeah, I just did it this morning." he lied.

Matt darted up the stairs, to his room and Hastily threw some old T-shirts and some jeans into a duffle bag.

"Done." he murmured under his breath.

He took the bag and headed back down the stairs and into the the kitchen where his mother was just finishing up washing the dishes.

"Are you all ready? We’re just waiting for your father to get back here with our passports."

"Yep all read…" He was interrupted by the front door opening. His father appeared, holding 3 American passports.

"I’m back, Lets go!" Matt’s father said, seeming eager to leave.

Matt and his parents threw their luggage into the trunk, and got in the car.

"Okay, it’s a long drive from Canada to Arizona and we’re not stopping to head back, so before we leave, are we forgetting anything?"

"Nope!" Responded matt and his mother at the same time.

"Alright, then let’s go."

Just then, matt remembered how much he’d hated car rides. They’re so tedious. I can’t watch TV, or play video games. I don’t even get to listen to what I want on the radio because dad never lets anyone change the station from Cool Country 98.5. Matt thought.

*Sigh*

The engine started up as Matt angrily buckled his seatbelt. Then the car took off down the street. Matt watched out the window. He passed by the grocery store, with its elegant glowing neon sign. He passed by the toy shop, admiring the displays in the window.

When the car finally got on the highway, Matt started to doze off. When suddenly, he was awakened by a loud THUMP.
Matt looked out the window and saw that the car was slowing to a stop. "Hey, wha- what happened?

"I’m not sure." His father replied. "I’m going to get out and have a look."

Matt watched his father walk towards the back of the car. He carefully inspected the car’s tires. Then Matt heard him mutter something, not quite sure what, as came back around the car. "Well, it seems we’ve got a flat tire. I can fix this but it may take a while." Said Matt’s father in an unhappy manner.

"Aww man!" Matt said, as he kicked the back of the seat in a fit of anger.

Matt’s father turned up the volume on the radio all the way so he could hear his music from outside of the car. Then he took some strange tool, Matt had never seen before, out of the glove compartment and headed back to the tire.

What should happen next?


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Christianity, depression, and shoplifting addiction…how to answer?!?

My Best Friend sent this to me and wanted answers…what’s the best way I can talk to her about this??? …Btw, she said she’s already emailed a minister, a Bible teacher, and a devout Christian a ways back with no reply…she is very discouraged and I’d like to help her back to her faith. Thanks.

When my oldest son was just a toddler my husband and I had our difficulties(this is our second try at marriage). He was very controlling and obsessed with video games(we found out last year, unofficially, that OCPD can account for most all the difficulties we’ve ever had). Jesus’ words in the Bible kept me in the marriage, specifically "Matthew 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." I knew that if I divorced I would want to remarry someday so I stayed and tried every way possible for things to be different. Nothing worked, I couldn’t fix it no matter what I did. I fell into a deep depression because the situation was so difficult. …and I still stayed because I didn’t want to sin. Eventually there was no joy in my life. My children are my world and mean everything to me so I hope I can convey how serious things were for me that even my son didn’t give me joy at the time. That’s when I started shoplifting – it was my coping mechanism. The adrenaline rush I got from it was the only ‘joy’ I felt at the time so it quickly turned into an addiction. I sought help, counseling and and antidepressants…it was the absolute hardest thing that I’ve ever had to go through. I really believe if I would have stayed in that situation I would have ended up dead or in prison…my son did not need that. I left when I realized that and I’ve been happy and healthy ever since…and with a different outlook on life and Christianity. I think if I hadn’t have been so devout I wouldn’t have fallen so far away from a religion that I held so dear at one time.

BTW(some people just don’t get this so I have to reiterate)Shoplifting was not me. I am an honest person and I always will be. It was not about the items at all…most of the time they were just thrown away. It was honestly the only way I knew how to feel good when I felt so so bad all the time. So I hope you don’t feel any differently about me for that period in my life. I certainly don’t condone any activity like that. I feel very strongly about doing other people right and having respect for each other. If you don’t have that what do you have?? :)

My biggest question is that it’s pretty well accepted in the Christian faith that the Bible is God’s Word…but if that’s true wouldn’t there be a way where I could have got out of my situation without sinning. God is perfect so His Word should be perfect. Why did Jesus’ words leave me in a place of utter despair?!?

PLEASE give me some sort of answer…I just don’t know who to turn to! :(

Love Always,
*******


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