Gosh where do I start..uh..
Me and my girlfriend spent 3 years together. I had a typical teen social life (I’m 22 now) but she didn’t. She was sheltered, shy, never had a boyfriend, etc. Anyway, we got as close as humanly possible. I mean she would even tear up when we talked about our love for each other, and vice versa. We had alot of times over 3 years. That’s a long time.
Anyway, so she’s out in california with her sick mom and started college 2 months ago. I was here in Louisiana looking for us a house and planning for her to move back down here. We had plans for kids and marriage and a great life together. She was the perfect innocent and pure girl. Anyway… I didn’t hear from her for 3 days (we talked like 10 hours per day) so i got worried and contacted her sister. Then she tells me how she met someone. To make a long story short, all my plans were shattered and she left me for this new guy. While I was looking for us a house, she was making out with this boy she just met. I find out they have done so many sexual things (oral and have tried to have sex but she said it hurt her too bad as she’s a virgin). This is a huge shock to me because she was mine for so long. MINE.
I cried for a week and could not eat a thing for a week. I not only lost my best friend, but finding out how much she has done with this pervert asshole was a complete shock to me. It’s been about a month now and I still can’t get over it. I get bitter, I get sad, I cry, I lost all faith in real love and relationships. I am still shocked and don’t know how to get over this. I tried going out and drinking and being social but I just spend too much money and I am alone in the end. I have no interest in other women. I’m lost.
I appreciate the responses! I do wanna say.. I was not overly posessive. There was about a 1 year span there where she was the most clingy person I ever met. She went crazy over me, but I was working alot and took her for granted. Then I "woke up" and began making up for it. Then this happens RIGHT when we are about to get a house and start our life. I miss her, I miss us but I could never take her back after this – I still talk to her almost every night but I know it is setting me back, but it keeps me together at the same time as I "need" her. She has tried to take me back a couple times but I told her it isn’t possible even though I want her more than anything else in the world.
It’s terrible to want something so bad but know you can’t have it because this thing inflicted so much pain on you. I remember driving down the road crying and passing my grandfather, and we backed our vehicles in the road and he had to talk to me just so I could stop crying and finish driving home.
Sadly, I knew deep down that since she lived such a sheltered life that I could probably lose her to someone else once she got out there. She is very naive and bad with decisions and I feel protective over her. No one knows her better than I! But despite my gut feelings, "loving eyes can never see" and if you’re played for a fool, you’re the last one to know – as Percy Sledge put it
I’m alone now and she isn’t – But I have another gut feeling that she is going to fall hard and perhaps get a taste of what I went through. I don’t wish this on her or even my worst enemy. She kind of ruined me because now I feel that ANYONE is capable of cheating and shocking you, no matter how well you know them. Now I’m scared to fall for anyone else. I wish I could be an asshole guy who does not get attached, but I am the way I am.
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