Okay, you have never been on a date, kissed or have never fell in love until one day this person came along to give you your first opportunity. Holding that person in your arms for the first time felt strange to you. The kisses were fresh out of the box. Your heart had a brand new rhythm at that time, and it was your first time ever having something to love. Needless to say such person was your first true love.
I remember her fairly well. In fact, I think about her every single day of my life, even when I am now married to someone else. And the love we shared back then was the best thing I ever experienced in my whole life, and it seems like I will die thinking about her.
I feel this is wrong of me. I love my wife very much. I want to be with my wife forever. But when I compared the love I have for my wife now and the love I had/have for my ex, result revealed that my love for my ex is by far greater…
This makes my wife a little uncomfortable, which, of course, she has all right to be. But she is so open-minded and understanding — she understands that my ex was my first girlfriend and was the first girl I ever fell totally in love with.
I’ve been trying over the past few years to totally forget my ex. I’ve distanced myself ( 3000 miles away) from her. I’ve even not seen her now for more than 5 years. We don’t talk to each other. However, I cannot get over my ex 
Sometimes, I go to the park alone here in the USA to cry. Sometimes my daughter would ask me " Dad, why are tears falling from your eyes? What is the matter?"
In middle of the nights ( not all nights) I would leave my room and go downstairs to cry. The last time I cried over my ex was just this past Tuesday
I think the reason I am hurt so much from our separation is that we didn’t actually break up. We just could not see each other anymore. My parents were the cause. Mom and Dad decided to go their separate ways, and I had no choice than to go with my Mom at that time. When I became independent and responsible, it was too late — my ex had no choice other than to move on, especially since she has not heard from me for 4 consecutive years. I did send a letter, but right after I left home she moved to another parish to live with her aunt. So my letter to her was not received
I don’t have any desire to make her my woman again. No, that feeling is not there anymore. But I keep thinking about her and the love we once shared, and that is making me very sad and uneasy.
What should I do? Who should I talk to? Where should I seek for help?
Related Information:
