I removed a friend from my facebook list…now I regret it cause it’s something that the normal me wouldn’t do?
I have known him for almost 13 years…BUT…we haven’t been in contact during all this time. We kind of had a crushed in one another when we were young but we never were an item. I confessed him my feelings, but he said that he liked me as a sister; however his actions denoted all the contrary…he scared all the boys who got close to me, and everybody around me seem to believe that he was jealous and in love with me. The worst part about all that relationship is that he was the kind of guy who always seemed to be playing games…he wanted me to notice him and then when I did he kind of ignored me. He is the kind of egocentric person who wants to receive other people’s attention and affection but is incapable of give something in return. Around 7 years ago I moved to another country and lost all track of communication with him. Now I am happily married to a wonderful man that I love with all my heart and soul and that loves me back in the same way. I feel extremely fortunate!!!!
Last October I opened a facebook account…not even 2 weeks after I created the account I received a friend request from him. I talked it out with my husband since he is my best friend…and he didn’t see anything bad in accepting the request…so I did. When I accepted the request I wrote him 2 messages asking how was everything with him, and congratulating him for his daughter…yes, he is now married too and his wife was expecting. He never wrote back. When his daughter was born I wrote for second time congratulating him and his wife for the beautiful baby girl. Never wrote back…not even to thank me for the the good wishes. So last week I was in facebook(on-line) and suddenly the chat window pop up…it was him saying hi. I wrote hi too…and then he wrote something that I couldn’t understand that seem to be directed to somebody else…and suddenly signed off. It felt as if he hanged off the phone on me. SO…I felt so insulted by his idiotic attitude that the first thing that came to my mind was to remove him from my facebook friend’s list. Why I would have a friend that never writes and doesn’t have the education to at least return my congratulatory message. And although he deserves to be out of my friend’s list without an explanation, in some way I now feel really bad…. not that much because of him but because I acted in a way that I wouldn’t normally act. The normal me would have write him one more time to ask him what’s his damage, why did he bother to search my name on facebook and invite me if he wasn’t going to write to even say thank you! BUT I didn’t write because I didn’t want to play his games again. When I told my husband about the whole chat thing he said that maybe somebody else was logged into his facebook account because the last words on the unintelible message that he wrote me was something like "kisses"…something way too emotional to come from him. But what I think is that he did write me and then he just made me think on purpose that he was chatting with somebody else.
THE QUESTION IS: Should I send him a new friend request or e-mail him… to explain why I removed him from my list?? Again is not because of him but because of me… I don’t feel in peace with my conscience for not solving the problem as I would normally do…with words. What should I do or better yet what anyone of you would do if you were in this situation.
**Sorry for the long story but I guess you need a few details to understand the situation**
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I have not been diagnosed yet or anything but the descriptions of this disorder fit me almost exactly. Especially feeling abandoned & unloved to an overwhelming degree because of minor things. I got it in my head that my husband didnt love me therefore I should not love him. So I treated him like dirt even though I still loved him to death. I made him so miserable that he left me & he says he needs time to think things through to decide if he will come back. I’m trying to get counseling but its not easy where I live. I guess I just need to know if I should even hold on to any hope that I can get treatment and save my marriage. My husband is a wonderful man who does not deserve the way I have treated him & what he has had to put up with from me.
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In my last relationship my ex talked me into swinging. When I got pregnant he left me. I was devastated. I found a wonderful man now. We’re married. Our relationship is very loving and we’re monogamous. Lately he wanted to DP me with a toy when we’re having sex. It brought back painful memories of my last relationship. How do it tell him I’m not into it without sounding like a selfish prude wife ?
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How do you get your man back?
We both have 3 kids each. We have had a very strong, intense and fun year long relationship. We have a lot in common. He is a wonderful man.We have both broached the topic of combining our families. But, the logistics has been daunting. It is causing him anixities. He has 2 smaller children. As a result he has fear of being abandoned by me – I have older children and I am not as tied down as he is.
About a week ago his attitude and behavoir changed and he said he needs time and space to think about this relationship and what he really wants. I have held back some of my emotions as well, because I was not sure about settling down with 2 smaller children.
But over the past week, I have realized I have stronger feelings for him and would be willing to do what it takes to combine our family. How do I address his anxities without being overbearing and get back what we had.
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K brief story. I’ve been married many times (1 alcoholic, 2 cheaters). I was only really in love with my last husband who cheated on me many times. He made our lives a nightmare, the kids couldn’t make a sound while he was home, we had to live by his rules and there was no room for error. But I hung in there until he left. I even asked him to come home, how humiliating. Well I finally moved on with my life but a part of me died. The ability to truly be in love is gone and I don’t want it back. I miss it and am very sad about not having that being a part of my life ever again. But I never want to be hurt that bad again so I will not allow myself to fall in love again, ever. Now having said that, I remarried a wonderful man. But I am not in love with him, and it is getting harder to pretend that I do. I refuse to divorce. So any suggestions are welcome.
I think I did not explain enough. My husband knows how I feel, and I treat him like a king. I do care for him and take very good care of him. We are like a couple who has been married for 20 yrs. I was talking about the "your heart skips a beat every time you see them kind of love" I miss that. But then I am afraid to surrender to it also. And to inform the negative people that chimed in, first I am not a golddigger. I have always worked and never taken a dime from any of my husbands. Next, it is not my fault that my husbands cheated. How can you blame someone for somebody cheating on them? Now I knew that my first husband drank but I had no idea how much until after we were married. My second husband is weak, he will do anything anyone tells him to especially women, so when they began their "relations" it was because they pursued him and he just went along with it. My third husband, I knew was a cheater but I thought he was a christian and had changed.
I do not jump into marriage lightly. I dated each one of my husbands at least 2 yrs before marriage. I did not live with my husbands before marriage so I could not be aware of their "habits" until we started living together. Now my 3rd husband had everyone fooled, coworkers, church friends, etc. Then one day he just never came home, did a 180 degree turn on everyone. We were all in shock. I was married almost 10 yrs (each) to my 2nd & 3rd husbands. My first was less than 3 because I gave him a choice me or the booze, he choose the booze. And to answer why I got married again is simple, my husband while not perfect, is the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever met. If I let him get away I would never find anyone else like him. I am very blessed to have him as my husband.
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