Why do people insist that I have low self esteem and that something must be wrong with me? I admit I’ve made some mistakes, and that maybe I’m a little slutty. I’ve done things other girls wouldn’t do, and maybe that makes me stupid too. But I admit it, and I’m honest.

I broke up with my ex-bf even though I still love him because I finally figured out he wasn’t good for me and was using me after I stupidly agreed to a gangbang. I thought it would make him love me more, but he just got meaner. He says he cares but I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with him even though it hurts and maybe that makes me a bad person too. I tried dating a lot of different guys after that, but I always seem to attract guys just like him, and it just made my slutty reputation worse. Add that I can’t have kids of my own and I know that no decent guy will ever want me. It’s not low self esteem, it’s just honesty. I’m the kind of girl guys will only ever see as someone to have fun with.

I know I’m broken and I’m trying to accept who and what I am and what my life has become. Why do people insist I have no self respect? What do they want, me to say cheer about my stupid mistakes? To be proud and smile that everyday someone calls me a whore, a slut or worthless?

It hurt when people called me those names back when I was in highschool and it wasn’t true. Somehow now that it is, it hurts more. I’m trying to be good, and I’m trying to embrace who I am, but people insisting I’m broken inside and hate myself just makes it even harder to like who I am. Why can’t people see that?

I posted this earlier in the wrong forum. I hope this is where it’s supposed to go.

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