How to rid my mind of an unhealthy sexual fantasy?
I think this fantasy may have started back when I was with my first real love and girlfriend. She ended up cheating on me after almost 2 years together, and I think thats when I started fantasizing about her with him. After I got over the anger and depression we resolved things and were together for another year. But all the while I couldnt stop thinking about her being with someone else, even when we made love, I got turned on like never before. I told her about it and she would try to play along in helping me fantasize but I think it made her uncomfortable. She ended up leaving me later on for another guy she had fallen in love with, behind my back.
SO I think thats when this started, I was emotionally scared, but for some sick reason I couldnt stop thinking about her being with another guy when I fantasized.
So since then, which was about 7 years ago, I’ve dated and have had a few more serious girlfriends in between. And with every girl I get serious with, I start fantasizing about it all over again, but with my current girlfriend. A couple of them I felt comfortable enough to tell them and one was again uncomfortable with it, and I think it put a damper on both relationships. Its not just that fantasy, but i’ve had other recurring fantasies, even some bicurious ones, and swinging. I know I’m not gay, and I dont believe that the bi-curiosity really has too much to do with this, if it does its just a tiny bit. But overall I think its the rush I get from the jealousy, and some sort of sick idea of how hot it would be to watch her with somine else while I was there holding her hand, but always in the end of the fantasy she would still go home with me, and still be in love with me. Maybe its like, I’m thinking I cant please her, and I her getting pleasure, so thats why I want this so bad. I dont know.
But with out trying to figure out why I keep having these fantasies, I want to know how I can stop having them. My last girlfriend, who I was totally in love with, we were having amazing sex and I wasnt thinking about this particular fantasy for the first month we dated (possibly because I had stopped masturbating until we started having sex). But then it crept back into my mind, and the sex although still good wasnt quite what it was in the beginning. And this really bothered me, because I kept growing closer and closer to her, and I thought she could have been the one, and here I was thinking about her having sex with other guys. It made me sick, despite the fact that it turned me on.
One part of me would like to think that somehow I could make a relationship like that work, where I let a girl be with someone else and I just watch, but I’ve read a lot of forums and have heard testimonials from people who have tried this, and the end result is usually a break up 8 times out of 10 it seems.
Needless to say, the last girl I fell in love with so deeply, left me for her ex boyfriend who she had been with for 5 yrs prior to me. So now once again, all I can think of now is her and this guy, every time I get off.
Yeah, I know this is all kind of messed up, usually after I’m done fantasizing and I can think clearly, it worries me as to why I like it soo much, and I wish I didnt.
The main reason I want it to go away, is because I dont want to find the girl of my dreams, and then mess it up because I either let her do this and it ruins everything we have, or I let it eat me up inside and it keeps me from fully enjoying the sex life that we have at that point.
When I think clearly, yeah, i’m like, why in the world would I want another dude getting with my gf??
So obviously, I’m probably not in the correct mental state where I could actually handle such a proposition becoming reality. Yet, almost every time I fantasize, it ALWAYS pops into my mind. Its my biggest turn on, and I dont like it , lol
So does anyone have any advice, aside from seeing a psychologist, because I cant really afford that. Also, I’m only 25 and I’m in good shape, I don’t have a super tiny package, and other than trying to find the right career I dont really have any major problems in life that I would think could really make me think I should like to feel sorry for myself, or would cause me to want to have this obsessive fantasy of having someone else have sex with the most important person in my life right in front of me.
Maybe I’m just crazy and therefore doomed.
Anyways, if anyone has and experience or advice on how to get rid of inappropriate sexual fantasies, no matter what they are… I AM ALL EARS! Thanks so much
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
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