PLEASE READ!! Need Advice.Fiance Broke Up With Me because she needs to find herself.?
My fiance, whom I met in college and had an amazing relationship broke up with me in June, a week after I took her away for a week to the Bahamas, and being together almost 4 years. Her reason for breaking up with me was that she needed to find herself, and that she wants to spend more time with her family. We saw each other a few times during the summer, but she told me she has no immediate plans for getting back together. It was awkward seeing each other during the summer, It made it very hard for me, in hindsight. Last week we had a little argument on the phone and she told me she would rather I do not contact her at all. I have been so depressed over this. I want to work things out with her, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need advice.Please Help
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Tagged with: bahamas • fiance • hindsight • relationship
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Don’t embarrass your self. Shes gone. Move on.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, respect her wishes and don’t contact her and if it is meant to be then she will realize what she has lost and contact you.
Unfortunately many times when someone says that they want to find themselves it’s because they’ve realized that they don’t like the person that they are and so cutting all ties with that part of their life is the first step in moving on.
I wish you luck.
if it is something that is wrong with her you cant fix it honey i know it hurts but you may have to see somebody else just until your ex fiance works things out
Look she is trying to let you down gently. You don’t measure up so she is looking for someone better. Forget about her and find someone else or enlist in the marines.
Do you really want someone who doesn’t want you? I doubt it. The real problem is you have a lot of dreams in your head about the two of you. Let go of the dreams and you will find someone worth your love to make new and better dreams with.
Be happy she is being honest with you. You missed the bullet on this one.
It’s better she did this now rather than after the wedding. It doesn’t sound like she wants things to work out. Maybe you should move on. Painful as that may be. It seems it would be more painful to try and hang in there when she isn’t interested.
Well ask your fiance tell that you know that she doesn’t want you to call but just ask her that if it was another guy she was after. Ask her if there is somebody else she wants. Let her know how you feel about her and let her express he feelings about the situation. Hopes this help and I’m sorry to hear what your going through
find a girl that likes you. she has moved on so should you
She just needs time..
so it’s better to leave her alone for the moment..
call her later..to remind her, you’re just waiting..
let her go and move on to a new chick . . . maybe she’ll want you back and then you don’t have to take her back
I think you should really think about what has happened here. It sounds to me as if she has changed her mind about you for some reason. Were you in college and have dropped out? Were you on track for a great career and now have take just a mediocre job? If there isn’t another man in the picture, then it is something that has happened between you two. I would guess that you are not the same person you were 4 years ago.
Let her find herself. Who knows, perhaps this is better for you than you recognize.
i’m so sorry this happened to you. but she’s trying to spare your feelings and that’s great. date other people but don’t lose yourself. have fun and she might move on, i hate to tell you. but that’s okay. because this is part of God’s plan that we can’t understand. she might have some issues, like remembering a tradgedy that happened when she was a child, or, in all seriousness, she might be turning gay. but that’s fine. as long as you’re happy, she should be happy. there’s nothing to do in this situation because you’re in a position where you have no control. i’m sorry but i’m praying for you.
Once a woman starts studying geography it’s a hard road to get back with her again. Especially if she says she wants to find herself. The implication is that she’s lost when you already know where she is.
Dont push it with her. Give her the space she needs. Have you ever heard the saying "if you love someone set them free if they come back it was meant to be". In my experiances this is very true. Let her take the time she needs. You two have been together a long time. She may very well need to see what is out there for her to find. If she does that is ok because you can do the same. Chances are if she finds out that you are ok without her she will come beating down your door wanting you back. Seriously . But remember that the harder you push her the further away she will get. If you call and start an arguement then that will just make it worse. Believe me girls cant stand begging. Good luck I hope for the best for you.
Let it go! It will hurt for awhile but start going out with friends and start making female friends until you are ready to date again!
She says she is done…so chalk that one up to love lost and how I survived..
PS The best revenge to someone who hurts you is to live well and be happy…they hate that!
HUGS to you!
play over the bahamas vacation in your mind, play over things that may have happened in her family etc. anything positive? negative? to figure out why she left, go over the negatvie things and pretend you’re explaining it to a really stupid person, and maybe something will turn up? maybe you can confront her? hope i helped!! (to make yourself less sad, go over the positive things)
How can you work things out with her when she doesn’t want contact with you?
She made the decision to cut things, not you. Don’t stress yourself. Go on and try to better your life and find yourself, that way you won’t end up like her…grown and confused.
I know it hurts cuz you have history…but she did you a favor, at least you don’t have to deal with a nasty (and financially straining) divorce.
Good luck, and seek therapy (something she should have gotten as well, but you be the smart one!)
It sounds to me like she has another man. I’m sorry to say that and I know you’re hurting right now, but from what you said, it sounded like she planned on that bahamas trip with you because she was selfish, and then she blew you off.
You can’t make someone love you, or come back to you after they break up with you. You’ll have to cut the losses and move on. Open your heart up for someone else. It’s her loss. Close the door to her and to the possibility of you all getting back together because it doesn’t sound like she wants too. So be it. Leave her alone, and move on ok. It’s a tough step to make, but you can do it. Once you have regained that control over your feelings, it will get easier.
I am going through something similar. Was with my bf for 3 1/2 years (we also went to the Bahamas last November)… we just broke up and I am still very much in love with him. I just realized we want different things out of life and I’m never going to be happy with him the way things are (long distance relationship). I have been spending time with my family, trying to keep my mind off of him and he told me today I can call him anytime, but I told him I can’t talk to him for a while because hearing his voice will make me want to see him. Anyway, maybe your girlfriend feels the same way as me? If it was meant to be, you will end up getting back together. I’m kind of hoping my bf will realize I’m worth making a few simple changes for and I’m staying away until he does.
You sir have been dumped cut and dry!!! blow her off and find someone new. and dont fall for the lets get back together after you meet someone else if she dosent want you now she won’t want you later.
You have just proven what I have always said; that young people should take time and play the field before settling down in an exclusive relationship. You both are obviously young. Maybe she realizes that it is not time for the two of you to make a commitment. Kudos to the young lady. Give her room to grow. Don’t try to stifle her. It is the most annoying thing when one person tries to stop another from growing and experiencing life on his or her own terms. At least she has been honest with you. You probably have a lot of growing up to do as well.
It may make you feel sad right now, but believe me, she is doing you a favor. You could have gotten engaged or married to her, had children and then discovered that you or she need to sow wild oats, the wild oats you both should have sewn when you were younger. There are other girls out there for you to meet. The right one will be there one day.
Speak to all the older divorced men out there and hear how many of them, in retrospect, wish they had used their youthful years to just enjoy themselves. Many of them settled down too young and ended up having multiple affairs, early divorces and such, all because they got too serious before they were mature enough to know what they wanted in a woman. Take your time and move on. This, too shall pass.
I’m so sorry about your situation. I know the pain of not having your love returned is agonizing but to ignore the truth only prolongs your misery. "finding yourself" is just a cowards way of saying i don’t want to be with YOU anymore but dont have the balls to say it outright. Acceptance is the key. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in your negative emotions. Take this opportunity to find yourself and realize that God has an even better plan just waiting for you. Best of luck.
Apparently there were somethings wrong in your relationship that you did not pick up on. I don’t think your fiance is being honest about why she broke up with you and you deserve that. Just saying "I need to find myself" is a polite way of saying I don’t think your the one, or I have found someone else. I think you need to focus on yourself and not her. Why didn’t you see this coming? Were things really that "amazing" or did you just want them to be? I think after you are over the initial shock and look at your relationship realistically you were not getting all your needs met. You need to be with someone that is excited about being with you…that you feel good around…not someone that has decided that they don’t want to talk to you anymore because she sounds very selfish. Your hurt feelings are making her feel guilty for how she has treated you (and they should) but she doesn’t want to look at what she has done, she wants to blame you for how badly she has treated you. She isn’t interested in your feelings or what she is doing to you… she is only interested in whatever she is doing now…I am almost positive there is someone new in her life. You seem like a very nice person and deserve someone that works just as hard as you do in a relationship. Someone that smiles when they see you and someone that is happy just being with you…Your still really young and have a lot to offer…there is someone out that that will be comforting and supportive…not destructive and cold to you. Four years is a long time to spend with someone and to just ask you not to contact her is a very unstable selfish thing to ask.
You will be glad when you meet a girl that is very interested in you! She is self absorbed…and I believe is a liar…Why would you want to work things out with her when she treats you this way? She should be the one asking you for forgiveness and being supportive of you…not the other way around! When you stop contacting her and her current fling doesn’t work out she will be calling you…she treats you this way because she thinks you will alway be there…she is trouble. Do yourself a favor and find someone that really appreciates you…you will be surprised how happy you are!