why don't women ever leave their abusive boyfriends/husbands?
Friday, May 14th, 2010 at
What are the reasons? I believe it’s wrong for a man to hit a woman and some women never leave. So Why?
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Low self worth, not loving their self enough, in denial, hoping he will change, screwed up thinking.
"i love you" are powerful words.
Women are idiots. Always have been, always will be.
they still love him. OR, they can’t because the bf have something to use against them?
simple-
1-they cant function with out a guy.
2-afraid
3- thye think he will chang
They say they are in love but mostly they are just kinda being too dependent on the guy; believing he is the ONE…..I know, its some bull but these women are usually hard to convince that they are wrong.
Some husbands make their wives feel week and hopeless and like they can’t live without them so the wife stays and takes the abuse. It’s like the man brainwashes her. It’s pretty sad really.
Maybe because they feel like they will stop,or they feel like if they leave if they will come back stuff will get worse
some women are scared for their lives and if they have kids scared for their lives as well if they run away.
I couldnt agree more with you its the "Stockholm Syndrome"
In psychology, the Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.
agreed with crazykia (seriously) and if you love them that much,you will get over it as long as it does not permenant damage or continues…
Usually the women are not just physically abused but emotionally abused as well. They feel awful and they do not deserve any better. They feel that nobody else will ever care about them so that plays a big role why women stay in physically abusive relationships.
Usuallly if a woman is in an abusive relationship the guy can threaten to kill her and hurt her family. and the women are just to scared to leave. the guy can tell her she is ugly and nobody wants her and she wont find any better. if you are told that all the time it gets inbeded into her head. the main reason is that they are really scared.
There are lots of reasons why and each situation is unique.
1. They are afraid of leaving and might not have anywhere else to go.
2. They still are hoping he might change.
3. They feel love towards him and very confused.
4. He makes promises of changing and going to programs after each time but nothing happens.
5. Money
6. Children
If they have children together they might be trying to stay with them for the children. If there is money involved that could be another reason why. Like I said, each case is different and the reasons why vary but those are the top reasons.
Some do leave. Others don’t leave for lots of reasons. A common scenario is that the abusive type man will cut his wife off from family and friends. He might even move her to another city. He will tell her she isn’t "allowed" speak to them or he will drive them away. He will keep her in the home and not let her work so she doesn’t make friends at work either. Or, if he does "let" her work he will basically stalk her at work. In most cases she won’t have any money of her own. Either she doesn’t work or if she does he takes her paychecks from her. Often he will tell her that if she ever tries to leave him he will kill her. So, you do the math– no friends, no family, no money, and a guy you believe actually will kill you if you leave.
The bigger question for me is- why did she stay with him after the first time? The first time is a sign to leave. You COULD leave after the first abuse. Usually that occurs way before the other stuff. So, why do they stay with these guys after the first abuse?
Because when a man hits a woman is hurting more than her physical body, he breaks her spirit as well, especially if there is verbal abuse that goes along with it. After a while it can totally ruin your self esteem and you don’t feel like you can do or deserve any better.
Part of the abuse cycle is grooming the person to make them feel like they dont deserve any better than an abuser. They put them down, threaten them with harm to their loved ones, etc. Over a period of months and even years the abused woman begin to accept that "fact" that this man is the only thing she deserves and even fears leaving him because she or her family/children may suffer because of it. Also, sometimes women try to leave but the shelters in their area are filled and they have no where to go and no way to support themselves so they have to decide between being abused or being homeless. Its not as simple as just leaving sometimes. There are some really great classes on this type of social behavior at communiyt colleges, maybe you could take one to learn more about this.
Because they feel powerless.
Men who abuse tend to deliberately choose women who have low self-esteem. After being battered awhile, their self-esteem gets even worse. They stay with the man at first because they believe the battering is an isolated event or that he will change. Eventually some women think they deserve it. Others know better, but are afraid to leave. Still others don’t know how to leave—they lack resources that would let them survive on their own.
Women believe that their spouse will somehow change his behavior OR they’re afraid to leave because they don’t feel they can support themselves(or their children) by themselves.
Not just women, but men to who stay with a partner who is abusive. Most of them have been kinda brained washed. First they hit you than come back and say or do something to let the person know how sorry they are. The person who is being abused tells them self they didn’t mean it or they love me I had to do something to make them abuse me. People who stay in a relationship want so desperately to be loved they can’t see pass the love. While others were raised in a abusive relationship where they seen a parent being abused or being the abuser, so they become either the victim or abuser. It’s kinda sad
Women do leave abusive relationships. Case in point, Rihanna. You suggest no women ever leave such relationships. Making such a statement requires supporting (statistical) evidence as back up.
Unfortunately women commit to a relationship generally, more than men.Women bless their hearts are always looking at their men with the thought of,what they’d like to have in the relationship.They don’t see the reality of a bad match up sometimes,it’s always what it could be.Most of the time you can’t change a bum,a hogs ear will stay a hogs ear.The women actually get into a desperate point that they are so hard up for this dream of the perfect relationship,that they are ready to settle for even getting a beating or infidelity, or they’ll pay all the bill’s,it’s so very sad,but it’s the reality of women.Not like these guys who figure that there is always another meal ticket around the corner.Sorry ladies,I feel for you.
signed,a guy who’s been married 56 years and respects women.
Some never leave because they are scared of reperccusion’s from the husband, or they could still love him deep down regardless of what he did to her!
Even if he goes to court & is chargedf or abusing his wife -she may not want him to go to jail, because deep down she has feelings for the chap, Stupid I know, but we just can’t change people’s perspectives on these matters no matter how hard we try to convince them they are better off with out this abusive husband. Maybe there are children involves between the couple & the woman wonders who will support the kids at the end of the day
Similar sort of answers for boyfriends as well! I being a male think its bloody darn discusting that men have to hit or strike women…And it just shows others how bigger bully & thug he is!
I’d love to get all these women bashers into a compound where much bigger & stronger men could pulperize these thugs to see just how they like it or even getting some big strong powerful women wrestlers, to beat the crap out of these chaps! I bet after this punishment, they’d never hit a woman again
Do many of you young women out there realise that being verbally abused is a punishable offence as it comes under assault & so does pushing & poking with hands & fingers!!
So always keep yourselves safe & report any abuse to the right authorities
Cheers & take care & take no crap from any man!!!
Speaking from personal experience (I’m with a great guy now though), poor self-esteem, loneliness, and they were hot and the you-know-what was great, either coincidentally or not. But believe it or not, I will NOT put up with cheating, which is the only reason I finally left them cuz I suspected they were.
Bottom line, they like it. I dont understand how women can love a man that does that to them. Women are not happy unless they have something to bitch about. When they have a guy who treats them good, doesnt cheat on them they get bored because they have nothing to say when its man bashing time with their friends.
Most women do leave their spouse after the first slap. The ones who don’t either
feel they can "fix" the problem by being more understanding or suffer from low
self-esteem. Occasionally some women just take the matter into their own hands
and "fix" the problem with either a knife or a gun. I agree that no man should hurt a
woman.