why do some men leave their girlfriends/wives if they find out they were abused as children?
Sunday, May 16th, 2010 at
I’ve heard of 2 husbands and 1 boyfriend who left when they found out. What’s that about?
No, they said that was the reason they were leaving.
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Women that have been abused end up with a number of issues that can make them hard to live with unless you are really committed to her and willing to help her work through them. Unfortunately there are a lot of guys out there that are not.
I’ve gone out with women like that and they were sexually demanding but I would not leave for that reason in itself.
That’s a new one on me. And pretty pathetic of the men, if you can call them that, who left.
It could be just coincidental.
It’s probably because they can’t handle it. Women who have been abused can be difficult to handle; it’s not their fault, but it can be hard for their partner. I was abused by an ex, and several times I’ve had emotional collapses because of something that reminded me about my experiences. I had nightmares, and questioned my boyfriend’s (now fiance) intentions a lot.
Another reason is that some men are disgusted by the thought, and rather than go to counseling they run.
It’s never right, and sadly it shows that those boyfriends/husbands were not committed enough to their women.
I’ve never heard of that, but a man that insensitive and uncaring, is not one I’d want anyway.
It’s probably because they can’t handle it. Women who have been abused can be difficult to handle; it’s not their fault, but it can be hard for their partner.this is why because the woman is all way’s wanting for someone to feel sorry for them and if the boyfriend or husband don’t do as they say then they are also abusive.i know a woman that been married three time’s and each man was from a different race. black, white, spanish. and to hear tell it, it was all way’s their fault, what next a chinese and i guess that It will be his fault too
I was both physically and verbally abused as a child and so were my sisters and my mother but I never had anyone leave me for it. My father was a first class bully. When I was younger I did notice that I always wished I could have parents like other kids had. I also notice that when a woman is abused as a child she will grow up to marry a man just like her abuser and when a man is abused as a child, he often grows up to be an abusive parent and spouse. My younger brother is very physically and verbally abusive to his girlfriends to the point where he can’t keep one around long enough.
It took me several years to get away from that vicious cycle.
After 26 years of marriage, my wife informed me about the abuse she suffered from her father. sexually and physically. I had always know from the start of marriage that there were big problems in that family. I suspected the sexual abuse. I just recently found over 60 thousand dollars in credit card debt that was ran up behind my back while she was bailing out my adult children. things like fines, rent, power bills, insurance. Never told me anything about it. She doesn’t trust me. It makes me wonder about what our sex life was like for her. She stayed angry at me for reasons I never knew. She has lied to me and stolen from me and when things got bad, the most important thing to her was the appearance that any problems we had were my fault. Right now I’m real confused about how to be intimate with her. At my age, sex isn’t as big of a deal has having someone that I can trust and someone that confides in me. I have been missing that. She tells me that she loves me, but what does that really mean to her? I am at a point to where I don’t know what to do. I know it’s not her fault what her father did to her and if I left her, that wouldn’t be the reason. The reason would be a total lack of intimacy and trust. She has spent our entire marriage taking care of the children. Now they are adults and they need to be allowed to be adults and face the consequences of their actions. It’s our time to heal our relationship. We have a new grand child. If that grand child becomes her main focus, I may be one of those “unsensitive and uncaring” men that leave a victim of child abuse. I’ve sure have tried hard enough to work this out, but she works hard at everything else except the relationship that she has with me. I know some councilling is needed. She is councilling with her pastor (female) but I have no idea what kind of councilling to seek. Maybe just give it time, I don’t know. I’m real confused now and hope the answers start coming soon.