Women only- would you do this to save your marriage?
Monday, May 17th, 2010 at
My ex and I had filed for a divorce back in June but it recently got dismissed because we didn’t submit our paperwork. We have talked almost the whole time about wanting to make our marriage work. We have a toddler and I would love to raise him together. Here is the problem…. He said that for us to be together I would have to swallow. This is something I hate doing, and he knows this. Would you do something that makes you unhappy to keep your marriage together?
Related Information:
Tagged with: divorce • marriage • marriage work • paperwork • whole time
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
There is no way that I would agree to that. Come on-swallow? How disgusting. And that is keeping your marriage apart? You need to find someone who will respect you and your desires and not blackmail you into being happy. Love is a reason to stay together, mutual respect and trust also. Swallowing is not, end of story. Sorry. Bye Bye Hubby!
Honestly do you think that even sounds reasonable. Tell him to get lost.
NO!
absolutely not….
no if he would make you do something unnecasary like that to keep the marrige together?! i cant even come up with the words im looking for?!!! i cant even believe it. say no!!!
That is the most shallow thing I have ever heard. What an a ss. Children are happier with parents that are apart and happy rather than together and miserable.
Not a woman…but no…what the hell kind of ultimatum is that…tell him "sure honey, right after you let my stick this *%$#& up your a$$"
Nope. It sounds like he still doesn’t respect you.
No. dont do it.
He’ll leave his kid without a father to get that? Why? To degrade and humiliate you, to ruin your pleasure, or just because he knows you’d say no?
He has to be a jerk if he thinks that would work!! No way would I go for that!!
It won’t make your marriage work. This is a control issue. It borders on abusive. Forcing someone to perform a sexual act that they dislike is abusive. I doubt very much that it will be the last such act.
My husband would NEVER make me do something i was not comfortable with or did not like to do… Your husband was very selfish and self centered to want a divorce for this stupid reason. You will need marriage counseling to make this marriage work and neither of you can be selfish either.
No and ur husband is an IDIOT lol
I wouldn’t do it because that’s a retarded reason to keep the marriage together. It’s like sexual slavery.
Dump his a**.
GO TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR!!!!
Ask your husband in return to something you know he doesn’t like.
In order to make your marriage work.
that aint right.. I feel priveledged she even goes down there. I pee there. I shit right around the corner. I’m blessed well not for a while .. damn memories , I am old.
If this is the condition upon which your marriage is built then you have no marriage. Move on. He’s no man, simply a unit with a need.
in a word… No. That is love with conditions. I prefer to have unconditional love. What happens when swallowing isn’t enough? Maybe watching you with another women will save your marriage. Or perhaps him being able to sleep with another woman will make him happy. Good grief.
what???!!
thats totally wrong!!!
and that should NOT have to do anything wih saving your marriage!!! especially when a child is being involved.. he needs to know this.. and that a relationship thats as serious as this shouldnt be endangered by some stupid thing dealing with sex.
Don’t!
He is asking you to do something that he knows causes you distress. If he wants to make this marriage work, he’s got a stupid way of showing it. Sounds as if he’s a controlling individual and you were right in the first place to file for divorce.
That is like saying, I don’t want to be with you. He knows that you hate it and for him to say that tells me that he doesn’t want to be the bad guy in this break up. He wants you to be the one to say that it’s over for good.
this is not love, please just move along. this is a ridiculous request to save a marriage. please find someone who is worth your time.
I would not do anything that makes me unhappy to keep my marriage going. I don’t think you should do it either. Have you tried telling him that you don’t like this?
to me doing that is disgusting and him asking you to do that is like asking you to put your self respect aside for him…heck no you shouldnt do it.He should be happy hes even getting it sucked!!!!!!Just like if a guy leaves you cuz you wont have anal sex…that crap is disgusting!!!!tell him if he loved you he wouldnt make you do something that so disgusting to you.I wouldnt do it.If he leaves you just cuz you wont "swallow" then hes a jerk and he really doesnt love you he just loves the sex.
If this man is forcing sexual behavior on you that disgusts you — and he is manipulating you by agreeing to stay together for the sake of your child, then he is raping you… and you should get out, and stay out of this relationship. He will do other things to make you small.
so your entire marriage is being based on you swallowing during oral sex???
you have to be completely crazy or kidding…right???
If this is true, you need to go ahead and complete the filing of the divorce papers…what a petty, idiotic way to save a marriage or base love on…
wake up, this is not true love, this is just about sex and nothing more…
i don’t think i would if i really hated it and if he loves you enough then he should understand that and love and marraige is so much more than sexual. i hate to swallow also and even though my boyfriend does ask i still tell him no but then i do compromise and do it every blue moon if i am really in the mood. just try to compromise and make it work. your son deserves it and you both deserve happiness. Lonliness is not happiness!
OMG no if you are not okay with it then it should not be an issue. Hello we don’t live in the cave man world anymore where he drags you along by your hair and you listen and do everything he says. You are a WOMAN! Stand up for yourself. If you don’t like to swallow that is your choice, not his. If that is his stipulation for him to stay then honey don’t let the door hit him on the way out and down. Do what makes you comfortable…
what kind of marriage is this. a physical one only?
if that is the deal breaker doesnt sound to me that there is any substance in the marriage.
if thats all i had to do to save my marriage and nothing else was wrong then i would do it. for the sake of my baby and our love.
some how i feel in the long run a marriage based on swallowing is going to end up breaking up any way, i still wish u the best of luck and no baby should be without his dad.
i dont get it but if it is not worth doing because he doesnt love u it seems if he loved u he wouldnt ask such a stupid thing so relax and just know that he must not be good enough for u and this stuff happens to the best of us so dont think that divorcing is not normall u will get through it i promise !
ALthough I do believe every now and then we all should make sacrafices to keep our men happy, under these circumstances that sounds like total nonsense.I do think that it is good to work marriage out and do whatever you can especially when children are involved(unless he cheated on you), but he sounds like an immature jerk thatis not sincere about making the marriage work.
Yes absolutely. Sex is a huge part of a couples marriage, and if this is something that he desires then you need to find ways to accomplish this. If you honestly think that you can’t do this, then don’t get back together, because he will cheat on you or you will be down this road when you have 2 more kids with him…
I swallow with my husband, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The trick is to ensure that they have an orgasm at least every day, so it isn’t all chunky. (I am being completely serious) When he is about to cum, ensure the penis is far back in your mouth… so the cum doesn’t stay in your mouth for a long time before it goes down. If it is chunky, then I keep the cum in my mouth for a long time while moving the penis around to lossen it up, this way when it goes down my throat I am not gagging with all the chunks.
Not swallowing is actually more grosse to me.
If thats what he is basing your marriage on then he certainly isnt worth it and he sadly will be missing out on who was probably the best spouse he will ever have. This marriage is not based on love it is based on his selfishness. Sounds like he is a narcissist and only cares about himself and what makes him happy. Honey you can do much better then this. Consider this a big red flag and know that you will never be happy with this man. I am with you girl, that is disgusting and certainly grounds for divorce.
Saving your marriage should be immensely important…however, a marriage can’t be based on selfishness, and he sounds very selfish to make a condition like that. If he knows you hate something and yet makes that the condition to stay together what is he thinking? Its not made out of love certainly, and doing that one thing is not going to be the turning point in your marriage, or keep you together in the future if there are problems. Try to save your marriage, but thats an unreasonable request, and he knows it.
Well some people swallow and some don’t. He needs to RESPECT you. Your likes and dislikes. If your staying for the child, that is not a good enough reason. You need to stay together because you love each other and RESPECT each other. If he wants to disrespect you, have enough courage to Respect yourself. Good Luck.
No. You hate it, you will end up getting sick because you hate it. And, that is not the cause of the marriage to break up. It’s a cop out. A man that truly loves his wife would not divorce her because of that. What did you do before you were married? Did he know you wouldn’t do that? Submit the paperwork and find someone that isn’t so self centered. You have a child, and that child should mean more than a simple sex act. How does he explain that in the paperwork? A judge should send him to therapy!
That really doesn’t sound like a reasonable condition for reuniting. If he had said…counseling, date nights, alone time…I could understand. He sounds like a big jerk that is yanking you around & playing on your desire to get back together. How would you swallowing improve your relationship? I’m certain you could come up with a long list of things he needs to do to deserve having you back!
Tell him that when he starts swallowing….you will. In all honesty honey, is this what you really want? A marriage on conditions? I understand your need to make things work for the sake of your son, but the reality is that no matter how hard you try, this man is always going to find some excuse for it not to. Or he’s going to keep making demands of you. You are a person, not his sex slave. You have a mind, obviously a heart and all you need now is the courage to stand on your own two feet. Your son is young, if you divorce now, he’ll adjust. I know it will be hard, but if you concentrate on making your son a priority, it’ll work out. Then go and find someone who loves you for who you are and is willing to accept your son as a package deal. Those men are out there honey. You deserve better and you know this.
No man who loves you would force you to do anything you can’t handle. Do you want him to teach your son – his behavior – because he will.
no i wouldn’t do it if i didn’t want to, never compromise your self for him, he is trying to hold u emotional hostage, and his love for u is conditionally only, if u do this or that, honestly whats he going to want from u next? what else will he say that the marriage is missing?he is giving u ultimatums, and what is next with this man? once u give in u will be giving in with each new thing he wants, best to let this one go so u can find someone who doesn’t have so many needs u just aren’t comfortable doing.
that is blackmail, you should not be with someone like that. No i would not and didn’t stay with my ex. your child will and can picked up on your unhappiness if your stay. If he really loves you than he will not make you do any thing that you don’t what to do
I would not be/stay married to a man who actually thought that should be a condition of marriage. You and your child will be better off without that kind of unhappiness looming in your home. Move on, sweetie!
Had to answer this. No man should put any conditions on a marriage. Let alone putting something as dumb as that. leave him,,,,,, He will leave you again.
Girl hell no!!! If something that petty is keeping him from you then let him go. Sounds like he is just using that as leverage or something. This really doesnt make any sense to me because out of all the problems people have in this world, your marriage cant survive a simple sex issue. Tell him to grow up. He should be talking about how he needs to swallow his pride and put your child’s needs before his own pitiful sexual desires. I mean come on now. How hard is it? At least he gets some from you, who cares where it goes? Praying for yall!!!!
love means sometimes having to swallow!!! lol
If you’re still married, why are all your other questions about your boyfriend who you mess around with.
Does your husband know you have a boyfriend? You’re not as innocent as you have every thinking you are here.
Sweetie do not…I repeat DO NOT down yourself to make him happy! He is trying to see how low you will go against your morals to be with him. Don’t give him the satisfaction, time, or day to do so….A marriage isn’t right if both parties are not happy and thats with any relationship!!!!
I hope this is a joke…