If you have ever been through a divorce or painful breakup, how did you learn to trust again ?
If you are remarried or found love after heartache how did you learn to trust again ?
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Filed under: Breaking Up Tips
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I went through a few years of therapy before my divorce and another year of therapy after my divorce. This really helped me to get a handle on what my issues are so that I can keep them in check. For example, I have a problem with wanting to control things and please people. Once I see those behaviors surfacing within me, I have to check myself on it and change my behavior.
I also had a problem with trust after my divorce. I am divorced because my spouse betrayed me. So, it was not easy to think about getting into a new relationship. When I decided to date again I made a conscience decision to trust -not blind trust – but just trust enough to give the person I am seeing a chance instead of assuming and building stories in my head. I made an agreement with myself to change my behavior whenever I noticed myself doing things that indicated I was treating someone unfairly trustworthy.
Take your time, you can learn to trust again.
It takes time.
take a chance on you…do you want someone to love and appreciate you? Are you ready for that? I went thru a bad D and met my current hubby on-line. Yup! We talked before we met so I was able to get a feel for him before we met. We are going on 3 years married and dated for 2 prior. Just remember that your worth it and deserve it.
I found someone who I could trust and who trusted me. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. But if you find the right person you have a solid foundation on which to build a new relationship.
I been through it 5 times. I don’t think I trusted. I think I was just Stuck on Stupid.
Trust after a bad heartache just comes on it’s own. If u plan to trust someone or plan to keep your gaurds up, you will never find love. Just go with the flow. Remebering that everyone is different and not every deserves to be punished for what the last person did to you. You might miss a good one for being too hard on them and yourself with the trust issue. U get one life… Just take a chance…. Besides, being hurt just makes you realize more and more of what you want out of a girlfriend or wife. It actually makes it a lot easier.
Good Luck!
I’ve been divorced twice and decided to take a LONG break. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust again. It’s now been 2 years since I made the decision to just be on my own and raise my boys, and put away the relationship idea, and I’ve never been happier!
i’m not sure i can trust again..esp. when you hear about solid relaionsips gone sour…who knows what really happenned to brad/jennifer.luci and desi…and the other high profile people who had been together for years…seems like someone is always cheating..not looking to cheat mind u…it just happens i guess..i feel that the men are always looking for something better…i just know i will not be getting married again..just live together..yes i have trust issues ..just be happy thats all i can say.
It is VERY hard to trust again after your trust has been broken. It’s hard not to assume the next person will be like the ex. The only way to learn to trust again is to just let it happen. Trust someone until they give you a reason to not trust, then start re-evaluating the situation. The hard part is to not over react. Just because your spouse came home late from work 3 times this week does not mean they are cheating like the last one did. Just because he is hiding what he is doing on the computer, does not mean he is looking at porn after he promised not to. He could be ordering something for you. The key is to not treat the new spouse like he/she is doing what the old spouse did. If you do, then the marriage is doomed from the start.
u have to trust someone, just because one person hurt u, doesn’t mean the next one will do the same. do it with faith, and prayer. at some point we have to get past the hurt, and move on, or stay miserable, always expecting the worst from life. we shouldn’t let what one person did to us, enter into the future. if we expect bad, we might just get bad, expect only good, think only good pleasant thoughts.don’t allow what one person did to ruin your future.
Before I met my husband I went through a bad/long engagement with a man who cheated on me.
When I met my husband we were friends 1st. It was long distance and the really good part about that is we talked A LOT. For hours every evening and through all the talking we really got to know one another and that built some trust. We took our time to, we knew one another about 3 to 4 years before we married.
We have always lived our lives like open books so it is easy to see what the other is doing. Peace of mind.
My husband also came from a bad relationship. His ex wife was a big time cheater! In fact she got involved in prostitution right before they divorce. He was military and she loved earning"extra" money while he was gone.
So, we overcame a lot!!LOL
We are happily married now. Communication, love and take your time. The trust will come
Good luck!!