I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. There wasn’t any big conflict, I just felt that we were no longer challenging one another, and that we were growing in different directions. We probably could’ve stayed in the relationship and remained happy, but it was no longer what it used to be and I could tell that we were holding one another back. We’re both fairly young and I thought that giving each other space was the best decision.

Of course, it’s still difficult to break up with someone you’ve been dating for four years. People ask me if I want to talk about it and I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing to complain about, no angry words to get out, nothing that accompanies the usual breakup. I’m just especially tearful, because I do love and care about him, though no longer in the romantic way I used to.

I need some advice about how to channel these feelings. How do you deal with a calm breakup that is still emotionally wrenching?

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