How Do I Make My Husband Fall In Love With Me Again?
A few months ago my husband told me he was not in love with me anymore.
I have been devastated. Two weeks ago we have started marriage counseling, but I see no sign of improvement.
The problem is that besides the counseling sessions he is completely shut down and does not want to talk about it. I bought the entire store of sexy sleepwear, but it seems like i am invisible.
Sometimes it seems like I could take off my skin but he would be completely unaware of my presence.
I am trying to be nice, loving and attentive but he ignores me at best. I have been feeling less and less attractive and my self-esteem does not exist.
I am like a pet frog – an unsightly, unworthy and repulsive. I feel like every day goes by and this hole in my chest is just getting bigger, swallowing my being.
I know he does not love me or believes he does not.
What do I do?
How should i behave to make him fall in love with me?
I appreciate your suggestions.
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Tagged with: ches • Fall In Love • frog • love • marriage • marriage counseling • pet frog • presence • self esteem • sessions • sexy sleepwear
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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It sounds like he’s already emotionally checked out of the marriage. I would gather any dignity you have left and move on.
Make some positive changes in YOUR life. Go about your business but do not ignore him, just be normal and loving as usual. Smile a lot and be a bright light in his life. It may take a while but keep on keepin on. Read the book "Divorce Busters" it really is a huge help, I honestly believe it contributed to saving my marriage. I hate to say this to you, but when my hubby did this, he was having an affair, it took a long while to come out in the open. We are working through it, but thankfully are still together, I almost lost him but that book really helped me be strong and attractive enough to draw him back my way. Good Luck my friend. Right now the pain is incredible, I almost commited suicide, but now the breakdowns are down from every three or four hours to every three or four days. Keep your chin up.
My suggestion? Fall in love with yourself all over again. Look at you and see where you need self improvement. Do this for yourself and start using that body of yours and get some exercise. Can you join a gym? I live in Alaska and I don;t know if you in the UK can join a ladies gym and in a group of other ladies go work out. In my first marriage my husband lost interest until I buffed up and went back to adult education. He was no longer the center of my life. He became like the equiv of pluto to mars. My 1st husband fell back in love, but it was too late. I was offered a great job in Alaska and I left him behind in California. That was 1988. I worked hard to not be in a relationship until I surrendered in 1999! I remarried 8/2000. We are a happy mature couple today. The moral of this story? develop you, discover you!
If you see this is yourself this is what your husband see’s. On top of having gorwn comfortable and ordinary together having been married a while. Thats not attractve to any man. Im not blaming you honey. Some of the most overweight or unatractive people are with the most amazing men because they ozze confidence, fun and are interesting. knwo its a vicious circle as him being closed off makes you feel like this. You need to get out and about with friends, a class and gym and an activity you enjoy that boots your confidence and gives you something new and fresh to talk about etc. As your confidence and self asteem and indepandance grows, your husband will become engaged again in the woman, not the wife who is at home. Please dont read this the wrong way. When you can love yourself and find yourself fun and interesting, bet your bottom dollar he does to. He loves you too, he married you didnt he? He jus lost you for a while. Find yourself and he will find you x
Instead of trying to get him to fall in love with you again try to get to the root of the problem. Think about when did this start ? When were things last good and see if you can put a finger on where things started to go wrong.
If you are buying attractive clothes to get his attention and it isn’t working (speaking as a man) the problem may not be with you. He may be dealing with something personal or private.
Communication is the key here. Talk to him, if you can, tell him how you feel without making him feel like he is doing something wrong. Approach it from the standpoint that YOU are doing something wrong even if you aren’t otherwise he will just go on the defensive, shut down and you will accomplish nothing.
Avoid using words like “never” and “always” as that’s an exaggeration and only breaks down communication. Start all your sentences with “I feel” that way you aren’t making a dogmatic statement. eg “You are withdrawn” vs “I feel like you are withdrawn” – to the listener the first one is an accusation whereas the latter is a personal observation which may not be true.
Bottom line is something is going on and the only way to resolve it is to get to the bottom of it, and the only way to do that is to address the issue and talk about it.
.-= James @ Nightwear for Women´s last blog ..Dressing Gowns =-.
I don’t see any point of making an effort to win your husband back in this case. I really believe that moving on should be your priority during this time. Find effective diversion techniques that work for you and have fun. But if you really want to try winning you husband back, I think talking with him is still the best way, try discussing and asking all the questions inside your mind but be prepared whatever the outcome is.