I want to make my wife love me again.?
Monday, September 28th, 2009 at
The way we did when we first met, it seems the fire has gone out, we are not very intimate at all anymore. We have been married 7 years and have 2 boys. She takes care of the house plus works part time, I work full time and take care of the majority of the bills, but i’m not sure thats enough? Any Ideas to help me fix this would be greatly appreaciated. I’m willing to try anything, I love my wife!:)
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Tagged with: full time • part time
Filed under: How To Get Her Back
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Loving your wife is a good start, now try asking her the same question as you posted, be honest with her tell her your wanting your marriage to develop more spark if it can at this point, communication is important be open with her show her respect and non accusing, just tell her your concerns, and try to develop a solution, take her on dates once a week, read to her from a book of poems, or one of those romance novels, buy some romantic games to play with each other, or invent your own, like 5 card poker were the winner progressively become more intimate in there received payment, use your imagination, but first talk to your wife that will go a long way.
What do you mean by intimate? Are you talking about sex, or communication, or ?
Do you have date nights? It’s hard with kids, but get a sitter once a week and just go out on your own. Do each of you get some alone time once in a while? That’s so important.
Have you even talked to her about this? If there are real underlying problems, perhaps counseling could help, but try talking to her. And of course, I shouldn’t have to say this, but to expect the kind of passion and intensity you had when you first met is probably unreasonable. Relationships change. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t still love each other, but it’s never going to be like those first days – it can be better than that, in different ways.
Do the stuff you did while you were dating..Have a date night, bring home flowers for her, write little love notes for her and put them where you know she’d look, but most def tell her that you appreciate her and love her everyday
You might be in a bit of a rut. I think that you should change your lifestyle & do some things different likie go for a picnic, days out to museuns or somewhere. Open your minds & do some things on the spur of the moment.
Explore new things that you havent done before. Talk to her & ask her how her day has been & take more interest in her & tell her that you love her ocassionally.
You can never go back to the way it was. Things change, people change. As time goes by we tend to take each other for granted. It doesn’t mean that she loves you any less. You need to learn to be happy with what you have instead of focusing on what you want.
Do you still treat her as you did when you first met? I doubt it. It doesn’t mean that you love her any less. It just means that you both are comfortable with one another and that is how life works.
Strike up some old romance, bring her home some flowers and do it more than once. Bring some home ever so often for no reason. Do stuff for her around the house without being asked to do it. Walk up to her and kiss her madly without any reason and without wanting it to go to sex. Be the best that you can be and that may just help. (smile)
And she isn’t messing around on the side?
Book a hotel locally on priceline, pick 4 stars and low ball it. Arrange for a baby sitter, a pet sitter a plant waterer and whatever else and pack bags for both of you. Pay attention, grab her clothes from the laundry room, not the closet, or grab stuff you have seen her wear recently if she washes and puts it all away immediately (my husband drives me nuts when he grabs my size 0 clothes from 2 years ago) . Pack a swim suit and then take her away for a night or two.
Or, try taking her out for a drive just the two of you or to your bedroom just the two of you and talk to her. Like have a genuine real talk and listen. Listen not just by not talking but by fully taking in what she is saying, offering feedback without trying to fix things, just listen with interest. And then go from there. Maybe you can hire a maid for her one week too.
Removing the stress of every day life plus listening and being interested should bring it back.
just start treating her with disrespect and make her feel insecure, that will soon get her thinking about you, chicks love this type of stuff,
the moment you show them dignity and respect, they walk all over you , and the fact that you are asking this question, makes you doomed for divorce proceedings, be a man, you are trying too hard !!
my advice is to get 3 or 4 available sitters willing to babysit for you so you can always be able to get one of them. and once every two weeks make sure your wife has no plans then surprise her with dinner out. (Flowers jewlery ect) Also help clean up the house more, and try to do some more playing outside with your sons. if you do fun things with your family like picnics and trip more frequently it will bring u two closer once she sees that your contributing
you have hit a plateau in your relationship. it’s normal. relationships start on a high then they plateau and during the relationship you will have your ups and downs from that plateau..the more highs the better.
it’s impossible to have that constant high so far into a relationship, what you can do is try to spice things up a bit..for example, take her out for a night..plan everything, including a sitter for your children.
she may see that you are trying and in turn will try more as well.
the only other thing is to talk to her and come up with ways to make your relationship more interesting.
it doesn’t sound like she doesn’t love you, you just need time for the 2 of you.
good luck
I am in the same position.. My husband works full time I take care of the house stuff and our 4 kids. We have good sex, but there hasn’t been any kind of romance since the kids were born 4 years ago. He’s always got his head in the computer or at work and when we do spend time it’s with the kids..
From a woman;s point of view it seems you really do love your wife and the most precious gift you can give to her is your Undivided attention and affection.. I would just cry I think if my husband WANTED to spend some time with me and just hold me in his arms.. I haven’t had a REAL kiss in over 4 years.. He pecks me on the forhead before he goes to work and that’s it.. Just spend time with her let her know that she is the ONLY one and that you think she’s special and sexy and REMEMBER why you married her..
That’s what I would want.. anyway.
well..i am upset somehow with my husband i had to take care of the child and house even had job when the child was at kindergarden he joined friends restaurants and now i am tired..he has now plenty of money…no necesarry for me to work and anyway not possible i do all the work of a servant cooker,and have to educate and play with our daugheter go with her anywhere and going to swiming pool became a job to me….my opinion is that a woman should be caressed..and helped because man is stronger and if she cannot do smth she should be let until she can or helped ..a woman is a woman he takes care of the child of the house as she can and is not eassy..she also went to university maybe..so a man should never scold her..etc..he should apreciate her and offer nice things..flowers..clothes..go with her hand in hand to the park..forest,,so on..