Long story short (well, kind of); I lived at home until I was 23 so my mom and I had more time than most to bond. We are really close and we consider each other our best friend. I moved in with my b/f just 10 miles away in the next town over and was always there to talk to her or visit frequently. My b/f was an immigrant and there was a problem with his visa and he got sent back to his home country just before we were about to get married. I love him with all my heart so I moved to his country to be with him and I couldn’t imagine it any other way because I love him with all of my heart. We got married in his country and I am now living there. This was all early last year. I stayed about 6 months and needed to come back to the U.S. for personal reason and I have been here almost 5 1/2 months but I am leaving in a few weeks to permanently be with him.

The thing is, my mother has been with the same man for 18 years and he treats her horribly. Right after I came back we found out he was seeing another lady and he ended up moving in with her. He’s coming back and forth between the two now playing games with both of them. We live in a very small town and my mother doesn’t have many friends or any hope of finding someone else and truth be told I think she still wants him to come back. One reason is that she can’t financially support herself and my teenage brother that lives with her. She really has no one and I see her devestated that I am leaving although she understands that I have to in order to save my marriage. The man she is seeing (back and forth) is a horrible person and she’s constantly depressed because of his actions and my brother adds to that. He is disrespectful and out of control. He cusses her, calls her names, and really treats her like a piece of crap. I feel so bad leaving here there all alone but I realize I am an adult now and I have to get on with my life.

She’s on disability and has no job to occupy her time. She sits around everyday doing basically nothing and has started to drink more and more.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading such a long question!

I wish my mother would come with me. She’s not as open minded as I am about moving to a different country and she’s dead set on having my brother finish school where he is and not having to sell her house, etc.

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