What can I do to make my wife love me the way she used to again after we went through alot of bad times….?
I went to jail for contempt of court for child support for 45 days back in March, we lost our baby in February, and things have been sour ever since I had to go to jail. She tells me that she can’t get over that and she wonders everyday if the police are going to come knocking at the door for me again.
What makes things worse is she is cold as ice towards me, I try and try to show love towards her and she doesn’t even care; she says she loves me, and is in love with me still but doesn’t know why and why she should stay. Last night I broke down finally and begged her to just be close to me she didn’t even care she turned over and went to sleep I sat there sobbing uncontrollably for about 4 hours and she didn’t even care. She is the most important thing in the world to me and I love her with all my heart and soul, what can I do to rekindle that love we had and make things work; I don’t want to lose her and I have no one else to turn to. Any advice I would appreciate it
She said that my job as a bounty hunter is all I have and have ever had; she said all I have is what I am chasing after.. But she is the one I want and she said that I spend too much time on the computer and the cell phone for work, what can I do
As for me not paying child support it is a long story and not my fault, I was in Argentina when my ex wife filed for adoption of my 2 boys to her new husband, they posted service in the paper and I was never able to appeal it or fight it; when I called the family court they said my child support obligation was through; the reason I went to jail for 45 days is for not paying arrearages that built up because she was on assistance from the state and I have to pay all that back.
It has nothign to do with treating my kids bad, I wanted to see them and when I came back from my assignment they were adopted right out from under me.
As for me changing careers, I have been doing this all my adult life (bounty hunting) and I make exceptionally good money doing it and I am well known internationally as one of the best there are, she knew this when we got together and it comes with the package. She just wants me to give her what she isn’t giving me and I don’t think it is fair
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Tagged with: adoption • adult life • alot • argentina • arrearages • Bad Times • bounty hunter • bounty hunting • cell phone • changing careers • child support • child support obligation • cold as ice • Contempt • contempt of court • heart and soul • job • love • money • Sat • sleep
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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I think your wife is going through so much that even you can’t help her. Of the things that have happened, she is upset with you and can’t forgive you, she is still mourning the loss of a child, she is insecure and unhappy right now. This is a call for some professional counseling for her and for you too. All this anger and bitterness towards you has built up inside of her that the only way she can function is by treating you this way, it makes her feel good, it is like vengence to her, getting back at you for making her go through all this chaos. She is taking it out on you. You just made some wrong choices and you even paid the price by going to jail.
What she needs to do is forgive you for anything that you might have done to her. She doesn’t know how. If she really loves you, no wife would treat her husband like that. She should show you that she loves you. What she is doing is wrong and I think she knows that too.
You are already doing what she needs, but it is not enough for her. It could be that she just wants to be hugged and she needs to just cry her heart out, but she is holding things back.
If your job is jeopardizing your marriage, then you might want to think on looking for a job that is less stressful. Your wife needs to be spending more time with you. Maybe that’s what she is trying to tell you.
I don’t know what else to say, but consider reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."
Your wife should seek professional help with what she is going through or go see her doctor if she is having any kind of change with her hormones.
men need some kissing and tenderness when theyre romantic and you sound sensitive..i think its the beginning of the end cuz she wont even compromise…see if she will do counselling…if not i would consider separation…she is torturing your which stinks.
Quit your job and get a new one where you can work less hours, and start over.
First if you went to jail for not paying your child support – supposedly from another woman – and then she had to endure getting over her miscarriage alone, she is probably wondering if you are really the man she loved enough to marry. Sure you may have had your reasons for not paying child support but it has to make her wonder how you can treat children that way.
Second, getting over a miscarriage is a difficult thing and she needed a lot of support. You were in jail at the worst time of her life – that is not something she is just going to forget.
As for your job, she is probably constantly worried that you are going to get hurt by someone you are chasing. It is not easy to live always wondering if your spouse is safe.
If you really love her, and don’t want to lose her, get her to go with you to counseling. You need to find out which of the things bother her most and see what you can do to alleviate her fears. Counseling her will help you both.
Then, maybe considering a career change. There must be something a little safer for you to do.
Good Luck
Stop begging her if she see’s that your no longer putting attention to her she is going to start feeling what your feeling right now just ignore her see how she feels i guarantee you that she will begging you to pay attention to her trust me im a girl and i know this will work just give her a taste of her medicine a girl never wants to see her man crying either
good luck
if you want her back ,start to have time with her….ask her once in while for a dinner and i guess instead of wasting a lot of time in your computer y dont you spare some time with her.just like watching tv together and talking.communication is one of the key to have a good marriage.i guess you guys are lack of communication
start over from scratch. make her fall in love with you again!
you can’t change the past and all you have is the future. if you love her and you say she is your world then you should have no trouble changing the thigs she dislikes. Don’t chang everything about yourself though. she has to love who you are. i’m talking about your job.
i know why she hates this job. my boy friend has the same job. it scares the hell out of us. you have to keep alot of secrets from us and lets face it women hate secrets. not to mention it puts you at risk. she never knows if when you walk out the door to work if your coming back alive. Change professions! get a safe job. try secutity at a casiono . they make good money and you still get to do what you love with half the risk. good luck !
Your wife has lost her trust in you, on top of feeling she’s been put after your job. You can’t just paint over that. The first step is to ask her if she’ll go to couples councelling – IF she wants to stay with you. It’s not fair for her to stay if she’s not willing to try to work on things. You also won’t get her love and trust simply by begging. If she agrees to counselling, YOU have to make the appointment. And you’ll have to do A LOT of work to regain her trust, which will take a lot of time. As for your job, you two will have to work something out – only the two of you can decide that, probably with the help of a cousellor. If you really want to be with your wife, you’ll have to give her space, time to heal, and do some serious work to prove she can trust you. Just imagine how she must have felt when you went to jail – there’s a stigma attached to it that will never leave your family. It’s a wound that will take a lot of time and care to heal.
You cannot make someone love you. Simply put, You can try and work towards a better future for you and your kids. I suggest a new beginning…It seems like after you left jail you went back to your old life. Why not look for new jobs, take some night classes at a college and better yourself, why not send your girl flowers just to say thinking of you? Try talking to her but im afraid time can only heal this. Your kids are the most important thing in this situation so do not loose sight of that.
Well, the first thing I will tell you is to tell the truth first. You only told part of the truth. You didnt let the readers know you also went to jail for assaulting your wife! No wonder she dosent trust you or want anything to do with you. And what about your ad on fling.com? What other sites have you joined? My best advise is to tell your wife to run and dont look back.