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My husband has a huge problem of always making excuses and expecting to always be fogiven. Usually there small things but when it happens all the time its starting to make him unreliable. How many times should I forgive his mistakes? "He’s very faithful never cheated and never will" I have to ask him to do this several times before it gets done. He always forgets things. He’s horrible at deadlines "never meets deadlines or pays bills on time". I feel like his mother, and he always gets mad at me because he says i’m controlling. I’ve told him over and over, if he wants me to quit being controlling then he needs to take the intiative to get things done so I’m not always reminding him. My husband always makes bad decisions. Right before my husband and I started dating he had a drunken one night stand with a woman and got her pregnant. now he doesn’t even see the child, he again acts like if he forgets about it that it doesn’t exsist. my husband lives his life making excuses for everything big or small. how to i make my husband start owning up to his mistakes, take intiative to handle his problems, and to quit forgetting things. also how to i get my husband to understand why I always act like the leader in our marriage and why I’m controlling. i dont want to me the leader in my marriage, i would love for us to handle things 50/50, but it always ends up as me fufilling my 50, and him "forgetting about his 50".
I really want to fix this problem without divorce. I strongly don’t believe in divorce unless cheating is involved

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