How to fall in love with hubby all over again?
Here’s my dilemma: Married to hubby for 3 years, together for 13 years. We met with I was 17 and he was 18, during our freshman year at college. We both had minuscule relationship experience. We are now 31 and 32 years old, with an almost 3 year old, and I am 6 weeks pregnant with baby #2.
My question is: How do I fall in love with my husband all over again? Because I am BORED out of my mind! First, I have to take responsibility for my own actions: not putting enough time and attention into the relationship. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. But I am BORED. Since we became Mommy and Daddy, it became all about our son (which my hubby complained about; he felt left out). And over the years since we’ve become parents, we now live more like roommates.
I find myself easily annoyed with things he does, with the way he doesn’t take care of his body, with the fact that he has no hobbies or interests or friends, with a lot of things. I have even gone so far as to become interested in other men. Wrong, I know.
I want to get on the right track again in my marriage, so how to learn to get rid of some of this boredom and learn to love my hubby again? How do I learn to find him desirable again? How do I learn to WANT to be with him?
We will soon have 2 children, and I don’t want to rip up our family. But I also don’t want to be 50 years old, wondering why I spent so much time with a man that may not have been the right match for me, or feel that I missed out on more compatible, more exciting men.
P.S. Please, no name-calling, or bashing. I just want helpful advice here…..Thanks!
Edited to Add:
Thanks for the helpful suggestions. I agree that we need to move TOWARDS each other instead of AWAY from each other. It’s been too easy to move away from each other, as if the other is some permanent fixture in the room. I am going to do the following: For 2 weeks, I am going to show him undivided attention….love…companionship….NO NAGGING (hard to do!)…..plentiful kissing… a couple dates….and see where it goes.
Yes, we probably should have dated around at 17…hell….even at 25! But we didn’t. And the person that said 31 and with kids is too old to be wondering about that now–you’re absolutely right.
Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence……I’m going to take down the fence Or, at least, try to!
Note to Guy bein’ a Guy: Wow, thanks for the kick in the ass I needed. You’re right, I have forgottetn how to be a wife and a lover. I went from LOVER to MOTHER, without wondering that would make my hubby feel. I have shut him out, and as a result, he’s only reacting to ME. I agree that I can’t complain if I am not doing all that I can do to make the relationship better, more exciting. It takes 2 to make it work. Instead of complaining, I’m going to be the instigator of good healthy relationship habits, and see just how far it takes me.
P.S. Yes, I am a pain in the butt at times
Tagged with: 13 years • 3 years • boredom • companionship • dilemma • Fall In Love • freshman year • hobbies • how to fall in love • hubby • kissi • love • marriage • marriage work • match • Mommy • mommy and daddy • parents • relationship experience • roommates • undivided attention
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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