really hope a noble muslim man/woman can help me. i am suffocating in my own guilt and starting to feel suicidal :( :(

i am muslim girl and i have found the man I am going to marry. he is a good muslim man and has brought out a better muslim in me as well..

there is just one BIG problem, i told him i am a virgin, but i have had sex with 3 other men that i was involved with in the past from the ages of 18 -22 years. I was not on the path of islam and strayed badly in my younger years. my guilt is now killing me as i have lied to my future husband, the love of my life – i wish i could turn back time and undo it but i cannot.

i am soo guilty, the thoughts are always in my head, i feel so so low and i always beg allah for forgiveness. now i will never do what i did again, i want to marry, settle down and have a good married life and be a good muslim woman and a muslim wife.

buy i my fiance knows NOTHING – he always says he cannot accept his wife has been with anyone else – he will leave me if i told him about the grave mistakes of my past.

somebody please give me some guidance.. should i leave him?tell him? i do not want to do this as i am fully devoted to him and want to keep my past where it belongs. i dont want it to ruin the right way of life i am about to start.

am i unchaste for him.? i am truely this a good enough reason not to tell him anythin and just repent, do tawba and live my future according to the rules of islam

please, please please do reply back to me my muslim brothers and sisters – this feeling inside me just will nto go – i truely know what guilt, regret is, it is eating me up :(
I have always been a muslim from birth, i am not a convert – its just that when i was younger i was doing a lot of gunaah :(

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